How do i stop looking at humanity’s crap? besides writing, i cant get anything happy off.
a-lone-wanderer
So… i was trying to sleep and i came up with this line of thought: a higher intelligence, or a better cognitive functionality if you prefer. in other words, being a smart or intelectual person is actually a defect in said person’s mind.
In current times, the people with the higher reproduction rates are the more ignorant in general, a short look at worldwide birthrates proves it, as well as the higher chances of people accepted as smart suffering of depression and the like.
So, if that’s correct, maybe the world will one day become a mass of idiots laughing and being super happy, yay!
Or maybe a […]
Maybe the world would be happier if us sad people went away.
Maybe it’s just i’ve finally lost hope.
i have tried to suffocate myself with pillows for years now, but today i actually passed out, though i didn’t get to the ultimate goal.
it felt so strange… so terrifying, and yet so peaceful.
i got paralyzed in fear, but ectasic at the thought of finally ending all the suffering.
i feel broken, like my mind imploded and became a bunch of melted fuses.
does everyone feel so strange after trying to kill themselves?
Today has been pretty rough.
I woke up really “tired”, i felt like just living was too much effort and that i wanted to die again, after 2 moths being relatively fine. then i remembered my mom telling me that she loved me, that it hurted her to see me like this… and i hated her.
I hated her for holding me here, for preventing me from ending everything, i hated her and everyone else for loving me.
I’m such a piece of crap, i even thought i wanted her to die, just to be free to do what i […]
So, i finally cracked.
I told them i hurt.
I told them i loved them.
They saw my arms.
They cried.
I cried.
They told me they would get help, and told me to get some exercise before bed, wich i despise to the very core.
I went to a psichologist and i was pretty honest with him, we went on a LONG shopping spree and came back home.
They told me that i can’t cut again, that it’s forbidden, that there are other ways. they told me that they love me and they care.
Come on now, they didn’t notice a teen with a bloodstained, long sleeved shirt on summer for years and […]
So… i finally picked up my blade again, i guess it was inevitable.
I just need to vent some crap, and i hope it won’t surprise anyone here.
it’s test time again, i have to get to studying, again… my group depends on me, again… my family wants me to succeed, to help my brother, to have kids, to be prductive, to take care of my parents.
i feel like i’m nothing but that, another machine expected to keep going until i die. It feels pointless to try and resist, to be angry with my parents, with school, with college, with the system, with the […]
Four A.M., everyone sleeps
Yet again i feel the urge creeps
with each cut a tear forget
Slowly fill myself with regret
Right on the wrist the cold blade lies
After each slash, the soul cries
Creimson fluid inside my veins…
Instant cure to all my pains
The hollow voice again whispers
Don’t you know what your heart wishes?
One, two, three, four…
Are you happier than before?
Five, six, seven, eight…
You cant die!, you have to stay…
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve…
What purpose does this serve?
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…
Come on, stop being a drama queen!
Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty…
Please stop, haven’t you got plenty?
Twenty-one… tewenty-two… twenty-three… twenty-four…
Please!, stop this senseless gore!…
Twenty-five… okay. that’s it. I’m done…
I can’t wait to […]