This depression is SO painful. My mind hurts. My chest hurts. I can barely stop crying. I really need to leave this earth so badly. There are little glimmers of hope, like tiny shimmers of light, but they’re gone just as quickly as they appear. Other than that, I worry for my daughter, how selfish of me it would be to bring her into this rotten world and then abandon her here without even me. I worry for my family, they would most likely never get over the grief of losing me, even tho I’m nothing. A burden. Useless. A failure. Still, that’s the way […]
How pathetic is that? I’m just in SO much pain, I can’t imagine how much longer I can survive to exist feeling this much excruciating pain. I just took a bunch of pills (to sleep) so here’s hoping they work. I cannot stand to endure this terrible level of pain much longer.
I recently had someone reach out to me and tho they didn’t have to, they did. I have made a huge mess out of my life, allowed myself to be abused and taken advantage of and am too ashamed to tell anyone.
Now your problem or “secret” could be anything. Maybe you harm yourself, maybe you’re being abused, or maybe like me you’ve somehow gotten yourself into some huge mess. What I realized today is how much it helps to have someone else’s opinion on your situation. They see things that you won’t see. Steps that you can take that you may not think of. Personally, […]
I talked to someone today and he helped me a lot. He gave me a ray of hope and a thought about something that I need to try to do, and I felt better than I had in quite a while, but… I still can’t stop crying and wanting to just end it all. I’m trying out something where I wait out the week and see if I can retrieve some money or items from the person who has been scamming me, but I don’t know if I’ll get anything back. If I do make the decision to end it, there are things that I […]
Do you think it’s painful? I have come across stories of others who have chosen this methos to have appeared to have thrashed around during their last moments, making me think that this might actually be a very dreadful way to go. I can only hope that the thrashing happens after the brain loses consciousness…
Any thoughts on this? Either educated guesses or preferably factual based, but any input would be appreciated.
Much thanks in advance,
CT
Stupid, hopeless me. God, please have mercy on me and take me. I hate myself more than I can express with words.
I have made my “Danger, do not enter” suicide signs. I have what I need to carry it out. I am just scared. And I want to make sure that I’m absolutely certain that there’s really zero hope left, because my chosen method spares no survivors as far as I know.
But God do I wish we didn’t have that natural self preservation instinct that makes it all that much harder to carry out.
A scamming thief conned me out of $28000 in loans which have never been paid back and now I’m so broke, I can’t even pay for utilities or food. Then last week he even went and robbed my house of every single item of value, plus many, many items that are so sentimental and irreplaceable. This on top of the fact that I was barely surviving to begin with. He took away whatever fight that I had left to live. I’m done. I’m so stupid. He played on my sense of empathy and compassion and used, lied and scammed me until there was nothing left […]
I can’t begin to describe the hell that I’ve been put through for the last 8 months. I won’t even try. All I can say is that I have been scammed, robbed, taken for all I have/had and left to suffer the financial consequences, the shame and the betrayal. I can’t believe that someone that I helped through the worst times of their life could do this to me. Bottom line, they robbed me for close to 30k.
All I can think about is that if there was ever a time to end my life, now is it. This is rock bottom. This person has made […]
I can’t exist like this much longer. I just needed to share this with someone who can’t stop me, just understand.
All I can think about every minute is dying. I want to fucking die today, right now, so badly. Â :'(
You know that rusty, old, broken down jalopy that should have been scrapped years ago? Well, some people just hang on to broken down things like that because they’re feeling sentimental about whatever item. But… if it doesn’t run, it’s rusty and broken down and it’s ugly like hell, what’s the point of keeping it? It’s costing that family a fortune just to store it and for no reason. It will never be fixed, it will never run again. It’s an embarrassment to even have around.
That crappy, junky old car is me. Â My family spends all their effort and money to keep me alive. I’m […]
I want to end it today. I want to use the detergent method. I guess I’ll rent a cheap motel room, since I don’t have the house to myself. I can’t take another hour of living. I’m really at the end. I have no hope for anything. I am so fucked up mostly mentally but even physically. I am worthless. I can’t change things. There is really no hope for me. I wish I could just be put down humanely like a wounded animal would be. I am much more wounded than some of them are. This is not an impulsive decision. I have been […]
I have been hanging onto life by a thread, knowing the whole time that I would one day take my own life. Everything was already terrible in my life for years now, I won’t bore you with the details, but life circumstances and mental illness has made my life unbearable.
This week, someone robbed me of every penny that I had. Pretty pathetic because it was only a few thousand dollars, but now I’m broke and owe money too. This was just the final straw. I can’t take another week of this life. I can’t start over as I am unemployed and have a partial disability. […]
Why are some comments “pending approval” while others seem to just be instantly posted? I think all of mine were instantly posted, except for one of my last ones that said “pending”. I thought it was because I had included a link with it, but then when I checked the other 4 comments that are currently pending approval, none have links in them.
Why can we only click on some user names, but not others? How did someone see my email address? How can I see someone else’s contact info? I’m sorry for all the questions, but I’d appreciate any answers!
Isn’t that pretty pathetic? From the time I wake up, I just wait until it’s late enough to go back to bed. Even if it’s just barely late enough. Oh and someone ripped me off today too. Just to add to my wonderful, already incredibly broke day.
I have wished that I didn’t exist for years now. And you know what? I may have gotten my wish. It’s looking like I have kidney disease for sure and probably also liver disease. I don’t know the details yet, waiting for more test results. It takes the burden of suicide off of me, but I’m still terrified of death and of going to hell. It will also destroy family members if I die. I wonder if I’d even have peace. Would there be nothingness? Would I still be aware and feeling? Would I still feel sad, just in another realm?
I hate myself so much. I’m such a waste of space, I don’t even deserve to breathe the air around me. I should have died so many years ago. Worst part is, I just don’t have the courage to do it for myself. I’m just waiting for death to find me. I smoke enough and I’ve abused my body so much, it’s really surprising that it hasn’t yet. I actually have no interest in anything. I do nothing. I go nowhere. I can barely force myself to make a phone call. I’m existing just to exist. This is not a life worth living.
There was a thread that I posted that had two main topics, ideas for guaranteed ways that work and I was asking people for their opinion on the “hell for eternity” issue when it comes to suicide. Where did that thread go? Lucky I saved the answers that people posted in a file on my computer already, but nonetheless I don’t know why it’s gone.
How would you do it? What’s the best way in your opinion, with the least pain and suffering? I can’t endure to exist for much longer and I need help figuring out how to end it all efficiently and painlessly? Please help me with ideas.