eternaldarkness

It’s a fucking awful combination. I swear someone fucking cursed me. I miss being able to have DEEP SLEEP, and wake up nice and refreshed. This is why I’m always cursing. I used to be bubbly and full of life- even when I was depressed about my life or myself, I still had ‘zest.’ But over the decades that zest has gone. It’s fucking gone now. And now I struggle to just get through each day… -_-

It’s 5AM and I still have not slept…

LMAO So I’ve finally heard of the Stanley cup craze yesterday. $45 for a steel mug, that apparently even 7 year olds want. Which is insane. It’s just called marketing, and ppl fall for it like sheeple.

This post isn’t about the Stanley cup itself- it’s what it represents. It’s how easily manipulated ppl are. I mean, ppl are literally trampling over other ppl to get them, lining up at 4AM at Target.

This post is about how we’re all brainwashed, not just about products but about life- medicine, politics, economics, anything and everything. Everyone thinks they are SO […]

when you’ve got no one that gives a shit about you?

The reason I WOULDN’T want to die just yet is to spite them. They would be happy if I died, and so just bc of that, I refuse to off myself and make them happy. They would be relieved that their disabled daughter/family member is finally gone and that they don’t have to do a thing to help me anymore (not that they do anything now anyway).

Wow, 2 weeks ago my TM was hacking up a lung and decided to come down to MY unit- while she was SICK and COUGHING. What kind of idiot does that shit? No apology, no care about MY health. And sits in the living room where her coughed air can come into my unit (my door is right below the living room). No concern how SHE can get ME sick.

Well I checked into the hospital 2d later and recently came back from the hospital and I’m coughing. She immediately goes up and stays upstairs in the bedroom and keeps the door closed. […]

Have you realized that society has never taught us anything useful? Especially us folks who grew up in the cities. If something actually were to happen, we’re all fucked. SOME rednecks gonna survive but the rest of us?

1- Do we know how to hunt? Fish? Forage for food? Know what is ok to eat and what are deadly? – NOPE
2- Do you know how to build a shelter, like even a canopy in the woods? Or hell, even a city/state park? – NOPE
3- Do you know to fix a tire and fix your car? No […]

Is the girl saying she bought one for 23K?
I so want one!

Though one needs LAND + the land has to set up somehow so you can have electricity, plumbing, etc.
Wouldn’t know how to get it all set up though even if I had a plot of land…

There’s many options in Asia for these, and I assume they help you set up the water, electricity, plumbing for you if you live there. They will ship to America it seems, but how come I’ve never heard of these capsule homes? I’ve heard of Tiny Homes here in the USA/AUS/etc. I imagine it’ll […]

I am not strong enough to deal with everything.
Not physically or emotionally strong enough.

I need HELP.
I need PHYSICAL HELP.
I need FINANCIAL HELP.
I need COMPASSION and CARE.
Someone who gives a damn about me.
Something/Some reason for me to keep plodding onward in life.

My life is so fucking difficult, I can’t take it!
And I am ex-military and I never complained about anything back then, even when things were very insanely difficult (female and at the time a measly 94lb). I was able to endure everything that came my way. But now my health is gone and I can hardly […]

TLDR- The ER Dr scheduled a CT scan for my leg edema/veins but when I was transferred to the hospital and saw the attending physician, he was a d**k and just cancelled the CT scan bc he was in a bad mood and I had the audacity to ask what the scan was for and if I needed to have the dye. Now I have to wait eons to get an appt and get seen, then once I get an appt, have to wait eons to get the scan. And by then, my symptoms would be gone, or to a point where they […]

I’m exhausted with life.
I’m tired with constantly dealing with illness and health problems.
I’m tired with life NEVER working out for me.
I’m tired with ALWAYS getting the short end of the stick in life.
I’m tired of everyone being shitty to me.

I just want an existence that isn’t constantly mired in misery. Is that too much to ask??

They are all shit. They all know I am sick, disabled, can’t walk, and even worse now after the bacterial infection fucked up my leg. I showed them pictures. It was nasty. All bc mom’s house is fucking disgusting (think hoarder house). OFC NO ONE told me how bad and how disgusting her house was BEFORE I got here. If I knew, I wouldn’t have come up here.

They KNOW it’s bad, but is anyone helping me even the LEAST bit? Fuck no.

No one offering to drive me to dr’s offices, to grocery store, to drop off food. Hell, […]

Is this the reason for apathy these days?
Tragedy overload…

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/a3MJG3wuO_M
~1min

Wow, and here I thought it was just a game I used to play at meetups. It’s crazy what this game demonstrates.

~1min

Completely agree with the guy speaking @4:00.
Especially at the @4:25 mark when he starts talking about “why bother.”

What you do think?
There’s many Gen Z’ers on SP. I myself am a old millennial. And we got screwed bad as well. Graduated right into a recession, pay for almost all jobs cut across the board by a whopping 15-25% on average, then had another recession, and pay was cut yet again and workload doubled yet again. 1 person now does the job of 3 ppl, with no benefits, no job security, and yet we’re supposed to work like a dog and be […]

i wonder what it’s like to be happy and loved…and taken care of and not always worry about things like starving or going hungry, or always being cold bc we had no heat, or not having money to buy necessary things like shoes that don’t have holes in them.

i wonder what it’s like to actually be loved and accepted as a human being, as i’ve never had that as a child. to be loved and accepted with no conditions, like just being born and loved. that is what MOST kids had, but i didn’t get jack shit. no love, no acceptance, only […]

I just don’t have any hope left.
I don’t believe in the pot of gold behind the rainbow.
There is no rainbow in my life.

It’s been DECADES of hell.
If I were young and healthy, like many of the youngin’s on this site, (17-25 yo), it may be a different story. But when half your life is already over, and most of it has been hell on Earth, I can’t believe the bullshit ppl say when they say “you had a lot of bad things happen which means you are BOUND to have good things happen soon.” That is the biggest crock of […]

I had to go to ER and my infection was so bad they admitted me in-patient to the hospital for 5d. Well all my horrible health issues aside, which are super bad, that aside….I get slapped with a $1632 deductible, just for coming into the ER. How lovely. This is how “great” America is. -_-

you’re so jaded about life that nothing interests you or motivates you anymore?

There is no such thing as meritocracy- hard work and intelligence don’t get you anywhere or rewarded in this life. It’s all who you know and how much you bootlick.

It just demotivates you from doing anything because everything is either meaningless or unfair.

Few jobs pay well- at least the jobs you can get without having to go for another degree or go waste more money.

Jobs/Career/Corporations = all bullshit
People = disappointing.

Most humans are selfish, don’t actually care, and won’t have your back when you need it. Sure, it’s […]

This video gets it spot on.
And anyone wonders WHY ppl are so damn depressed and suicidal?
No pill from a psychiatrist is going to fix economic strife.

~1min

This YT short popped up on my feed. It’s so wholesome and shows how loving the father is, to do all this for his daughter. People like him are awesome. But I feel so sad when I watch videos like this. Or see this kind of stuff IRL. Same with loving mother-daughters I see when I’m outside. I feel so sad bc I never knew what parental love was, from EITHER my father or my mother. They were both horrible people, devoid of love and care.

Anyhow, enjoy this ‘wholesome’ video…
Oh how I wish I had anything close […]

Everyone is all “Happy New Year!” and shit, but how is a “new” year any different for some of us here? It’s the same ol’ bullshit crap life. -_-