of course i have friends, they care about me very, very much! they helped me out when my brother was being abusive, they stood beside me when my ex was stalking me! why do i think they don’t give a shit about me? what’s wrong with me?
i wish i can hug them all! but they’re all online.. i wish i can stop thinking like no one cares about me. people do, i’m lucky to have people like that in my life! ..even if i can’t touch them, even if i can’t fully express my gratitude to them because i’m horrible at expressing my feelings.. […]
i want someone to at least care for me, i just want a new big brother that doesn’t abuse me. i just want to be loved not romantically and i just want to be hugged.
i suppose thats too much to ask for..
i hope once i die, i can retrieve all i wanted in this life.
convos with anyone are getting scarce, it feels weird to talk when im in call with a friend or when talking to one of my family members, mostly because i hardly use it nowadays.
so silently, im sinking in stress and puddle of sadness i made for myself. i wanna cry out for help, but would it be worth it? does anyone really care enough to reach out and say “you mean alot to me”? do i mean anything to anyone? i have friends, but i hardly talk to them. the only time people talk to me is when they want something from me. i feel […]
i really need to kill myself, at least this year or two.
i have no future, i don’t want to be homeless and wander the street for my entire life. i need to get over my fear of death and dying so i can finally kill myself and fulfill my pathetic destiny.
i was born to be nothing, i’m a worthless unlovable asshole. i have a method to kill myself, i just need to actually do it without my paranoia stopping me.
no one is going to save me from this home, no one wants to be around me, i have no life or future ahead of me. […]
i have an abusive older brother, im sure i’ve mentioned him in some comments/posts, thats why i desperately look for another older brother. or at least someone that i can look up to, someone who cares about me. i’ll be vague for the time being, im afraid if i go into too much detail with what my brother did to me and the aftermath, i’ll probably get in trouble.
near the end of 2017, i believe i was 12-13ish and was in middle school. i dont know why i was called in to the offices, but they did a home checkup on me. as in, they […]
i get angrier at myself by the day, i feel agitated and get headaches by just talking or texting. I’m trying my best not to relapse into self-harm, but i cant get over how fucking stressed i feel right now. as im typing this, i don’t have my knife in sight, but i think after i post this im gonna cut myself still im tired.
i feel so taken apart, so fucking used. i wish i had friends, but im so fucking unlovable and uninteresting. no one wants to stick around me, im so fucking useless in this world.
ive taken some old pills of mine, amphetamine […]
i wish i had more friends or at least people to talk to, i wish i could just stop having this dreadful feeling deep inside me when im drawing, playing games, or doing literally anything. i wish i could stop being or feeling like im big tumor on the people i love, and that the people i love dont give a shit about me. unless thats actually true, which im always wondering if it is or not
i hate being so stupid, so mentally ill, so me, i wish i was someone else. i wish i was someone lovable, someone interesting and someone worth being friends […]
how come whenever i’m just existing, i have this dreadful feeling? this sinking feeling in my gut and throat that my friends don’t love me, my parents dislike me, and the world is better off with me dead? i could be happy one moment, then shoot myself down in my own head by reminding me on how miserable i make the people around me.
im scared of death, but i want to die. im scared of the afterlife, or the lack of one. am i a good enough person to go to heaven? one day ill die, whether it be by my hand, someone else’s hand, […]
had a crisis chat sometime ago, kept telling me shit about “I feel like you’re depressed..” no shit, im here for a reason. i feel killing myself. what the fuck is wrong with these stupid ass chatrooms?
i just want to be loved, i just want to find someone i can call my new big brother, i just want to be cared for.
i feel so used and abused, im so tired all of the time. im sorry im failing everything, im really struggling. please, let me talk to anyone, just someone. i just want to watch someone play games and have a laugh. i just want to be happy. im tired of the pain in my gut and throat, im so tired of being stupid, im so tired of living. i just want to sleep forever. i just want someone to tell […]
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