it never stops does. it just keeps pulling you into a black hole until you finally have had enough. what if you give up but you dont die? you just let it devour you because you fear survival. is there end? or do you just go insane until someone finds you and puts you in a pretty white room with plush walls, and a new wardrobe of pretty white jackets covered in fancy buckles?
Abandoned
When you have 2 options and neither are the best, which do you choose? One you’re quiet. You keep to yourself. Don’t have much to say. Not really as happy as you could be. The other, you die. One way or another. There’s no getting around it even though, it’s not what you want.
I got through the worst of it yesterday but its only a matter of time before i relapse. And im back in that same dark place. I know you want me to survive. I know you need me to survive but i cant anymore. I ran out of rom on my arm. Ive become a little more reckless. I wonder whats next. My other arm? My legs? My fiance told me he saw them yesterday for some reqaon that just makes it worse. So i did it again. Ill cut 2-6 times a day now. I was doing so good i wasnt cutting at all. […]
they grew up. they are gone. i knew they would grow up but…… my little baby brothers arent little babies anymore. i just dont want to anymore. my brothers are my world. i spent the past 3 years trying to forget them so the pain could stop. i guess i made it no where. i cNan physically feel my insides being torn apart. i love those boys more then anything. i basically raised the oldest and i would have dont the same f or the youngest if it wasnt for his heart. i taught him his abc’s i taught him his colors and how to […]
every time i have a mental break down i feel that much closer to actually doing it. im going to be drinking tonight. i can end it. but will i? i want to talk to someone but i cant. one person would put me in a bubble and ive hurt the other enough as it is. i dont want to hurt him anymore but it seems to be all im good at. just one stupid thing after another. i dont even know why i want to die. i dont even know why i feel so much pain. its all balled up inside me with […]
Most of the males i know treated me like sh*t except for 2. They just dont treat me like im human. One of them is so protective i cant take risks. I want to try to sell some of my art “but what if no one buys it?” But what if someone does? And the other hes so scared of hurting me more that hes fine with everything. I cut. “Its alright” no no no its not alright. Im hurting. I seem to only attract a**holes and those that care too much.
what do you do for stress? ive tried OTC supplements. i cant take them. ive tried talking. it just makes it worse. ive tried meditating, deep breathing. it doesnt help. i now have health problems. chest pains, headaches, possibly nausea i have been feeling kinda sick for about a month. its not that bad yet. it can get worse. Depression and anxiety. Pain of any kind. Sleep problems. Autoimmune diseases. Digestive problems. those are just some of the problems. theres many more. from where i sit, i see no way to relieve my stress. its starting to scare me. im in constant physical pain and […]
Some people are sruck in their ways. They belive that witchs were made by the devil. That its satanism to be a witch. But they never took a second to read the wiccan rede. It ends with “thou shall not harm” where does that sound like satanism? Why cant people come out of the stone age and realize that witches arent bad people?
im suicidal. im breaking down. im going insane. and i havent been through anything like most of you have been through. i at least have the capability to be happy. im a horrible person for ever thinking i was anything like you.
ok so really this question can go to anyone but i feel the older people will have a better understanding because its a question about alcohol. when my depression hits me like a dump truck of bricks landed on me i feel drunk. my head feels cloudy. im shaking a little bit. i just wanted to know that this is normal and im not the only person feeling this because its freaking me out a little.
my name is hope because of my depression. it is also my writers name. i am an unpublished author. i hope to publish some of my work in the future but if i dont i wont be heartbroken. this is a little bit long and sad i wanted to show you some of my flash fiction but i couldnt find the USB ill keep looking but for now here is a short story.
The Little Girl
A little girl. She couldn’t have been much older than 6. Lived in an amazing mansion. However with the many rooms in the house this little girl lived in […]
Up until recently I was 100% sure this was what I wanted but now, I just don’t know. My depression has me wondering if this is the best idea. “I’m too young for this.” “We haven’t been together long enough.” “What if we get a divorce? then all these years would be for nothing and the money spent would be a waste. Plus I don’t really believe in divorce” Unless you are being abused the yeah get a divorce. “What if our love isn’t real?” “What if i stop loving him?” The questions running around in my head. There’s so many of them. So […]
I use to be able to tell the differwnce between my actual thoughts and what my depression was thinking. I use to know the difference and be able to push it aside knowing it was nothing but lies. Recently though i cant tell the difference. Its almost like my depression has evolved. It has become a part of me. It makes making desicions difficult. Is it actually me thats questioning it or is it my depression? I just dont know anymore. I hope im not alone. I hope someone understands but at the same time i wish im alone because i wish that no […]