imtryinghere

Tonight, it hits me different. I’m so sad. I don’t know the exact trigger, but as i was leaving school today my eyes started to tear up. I wanted to cry so bad, but then my Mom texted me and she told me she was picking me up, glad she did because i got distracted and would have started crying.

But right now i’m mentally not in the best state. I’m trying to stay positive. Trying to stay happy, but i’m always sad. I don’t really know how to cheer myself up anymore.

I want to give up. I want to die. But will i kill myself? […]

Everything is going downhill for me, once again. I’m losing friends, and they are losing my trust. Including my school counselor and one of my teachers, for study hall. I talk to them, but they are making me feel like i can’t open up to them because of their responses, but i don’t tell them in the moment. I don’t want them feeling bad for saying the wrong thing.

I just feel so alone. I felt alone before, and it is a feeling no one wants to feel. I even hoped to never feel, that feeling ever again. Yet, here i am. Feeling so alone to […]

Friday night, I felt depressed, lost, like I don’t know who I am anymore, like I wanted to die, and I didn’t wan to wake up and see another day. Saturday morning, I felt like I wanted to die. Wasn’t ready for work, didn’t wanna go to work. Then at work I was fine, I don’t know if it was because I pushed all my feelings to the back of my mind or my mood swings I always get because of borderline personality disorder. Saturday night, i felt like shit again, like I was lost in some dark, very dark forest. Sunday morning, I again […]

I was happy all week, my ex best friend and i are working on things and talking more and may hang out halloween night.

Then today. i dont know i just feel like im falling again. further down. like my mind is tricking me into thinking im doing better, but one day im not and sad and wanting to die again..

Late at night around 10:00pm or 11:00pm, (10:49pm right now) I get so sad and upset. I don’t know why, but i just do. I guess it is around the time i feel lonely and my mind is just active.

I see all these posts on instagram and VSCO, people always seem so happy. Yes, i do know that they don’t post the sad and depressing stuff on social media, but like i also see them in person all happy and energetic, yes i also do know they could be acting. But anyways i see the happiness, and i get even more sad and wanting to […]

I have people wanting to know why i want to die and why my mind is a mess. i already explained why i am depressed. i gave you my somewhat background. I don’t want people to know who i am either. So this is my situation…

My summer was great not going to lie, i had everything. Yeah i still struggled because i still struggled with self-harm and depression, but i was proud of myself and happy in June and July. i had my boyfriend, best friend, and i even had a job. My junior year i was in the mindset of not having on because […]

My mind is killing me, i sometimes don’t know what to do. i feel like the world, universe is against me. Like my life is a lie. like i shouldn’t be here. i dont know how much longer i can take this. its been 5 years of these thoughts, cutting, suicide attempts. ive tried almost everything and im bout ready to give up. i wish there is still hope. i hope there is hope. i just dont even know what to do anymore…

someone help please