Author

KillerMaggot

A nomad.

Still Alive; Who’s Still Here?

by KillerMaggot 1/5/2021

written by KillerMaggot

It’s been four and a half years since I visited this site. My last post was a suicide note. I lived through what followed, and I won’t go into details.

Whiskered-Fish, you still around? Your comments are what tipped me over the edge enough to not finish myself off. Your username ironically helped with that- I couldn’t let my pet catfish live life without me, after so long with me (sitting at 25 years with that fish now).

Or Cordless? You were another amazing positive influence. I hope I can see you in the comments some time soon..

Looking back at my profile, there are so many of […]

1/5/2021 6 comments

Either Tonight or Tomorrow

by KillerMaggot 7/20/2016

written by KillerMaggot

I can’t do this; I’m done. I’ve lost every attachment. I’ve lost it all. I’m going to either end it tonight or tomorrow. At BEST, I’ll consider a week. I’m not going to get in to details.

I have questions. The first one is this: If I suddenly die, short of a will, can I decide who gets my car? Is there a way to prepare for that?
Second: Should I die in a location where I will soon be found, or out in the middle of nowhere? I think the logical choice would be to be found soon so everything can wrap up quickly. Plus […]

7/20/2016 4 comments

It’s me, again x3. Soooo broken.

by KillerMaggot 4/3/2016

written by KillerMaggot

It’s been a while. Things were going alright. Had a lot saved up. Then everything went to shit all at once. So as people who have read my posts in the past know, my life was almost… good. After years and years of torment, struggling and finding inner strength I didn’t know I had.

Story time. My ex (not my ex fiance), who will remain unnamed, ran into me at college along with her husband and her kid. They were excited to see me as we had remained good friends, and hadn’t seen each other in quite a few years. I was invited to their apartment […]

4/3/2016 18 comments

Ep3: Revenge of the Loneliness

by KillerMaggot 3/5/2016

written by KillerMaggot

It’s one of those nights. I don’t want to sleep. I want to stay up with somebody and feel like I have a physical human being around with whom I can form some kind of bond. It gets dull adding a new chapter to my two novels, or writing lyrics for the next song project. It’s old, I’m tired, and I need somebody- not something. No more games, books, or any other cheap form of entertainment. I need this thing called a human bond. It’s always seemed to allude me.

I’m not sure what to do. I never have been. I do my best to fit […]

3/5/2016 24 comments

Hey, It’s Me Again.. Again.

by KillerMaggot 3/1/2016

written by KillerMaggot

Forgive the selfie.. but here’s a small update. I know nobody I know will find these forums. So why not show off my amazingly depressed face. So last I posted, I had just started college, and had completed my first day. Now I’ve dropped all but my math class so I’m not overwhelmed by my depression. That way I can at least get the hard class done first, and I can go about surviving.

Nothing much has changed. I “think” I’ve made a couple friends. We’ll see how that turns out. I still spend the bulk of my time listening to “See You On The Other […]

3/1/2016 21 comments

Been a while.. here’s an update.

by KillerMaggot 1/20/2016

written by KillerMaggot

Alright, fellow depressed ones, back again to give y’all an update on my pathetic, miserable life. Last I posted, I went over a chunk of my life story and left off at my homeless predicament. As of now, I quit my job with a really abusive, corrupt oxygen company and I’m currently enrolled in college. I just had my first day of college today. As is typical of my life, nothing can go right. After two years out of state and a total shift in my appearance and personality, I ended up in class with bullies I’ve known since I was four years old. They […]

1/20/2016 9 comments

Lonely Loser

by KillerMaggot 7/12/2015

written by KillerMaggot

This is my second post on here. My first was a rant about my life. I just need a friend! Oh my god! I’m so sick of being lonely all the time. If I really pushed myself, I could get a job, stop being homeless, blah blah blah… but for what reason? I have nobody. Nobody cares. I cut myself, burn myself, drink to the point I pass out, and and I fucking hate myself so much.

I threw everything away and sacrificed college for a family that pushed me away. I lost my friends to my depression. I’ve tried replacing them with self harm and […]

7/12/2015 9 comments

Alone, Lost, Useless

by KillerMaggot 6/21/2015

written by KillerMaggot

So yeah, my title about says it. Here’s a little about me. I’m a 21 year old male that’s completely lost my drive. I have no hope. I have nobody. The two surrogate parents I had died within two days of each other. I have around 40% mobility and strength in my hands due to sindactilysm (look it up), so I’ve been laid off from every job I’ve landed due to being so damned slow compared to other employees. It’s not bad enough for disability. I lost my home already and I live in a parking lot trailer, temporary courtesy of a church that took […]

6/21/2015 2 comments