I know I have to be careful because there is something self destructive within me.
I haven’t been on in awhile, been so caught up in life. Fill me in on whats new 🙂
the bruises they fade, and the scars disappear. yet I’m stuck here hurt beyond disbelieve, looking for answers I can’t find within myself. the memories burn in the back of my mind and come creeping back any chance they get. the way her hands hit my face so effortlessly, or the way degrading words flew out of her mouth. I never felt so small, so afraid. I lay there helplessly on the ground, pleading for what seemed like my life, but not even that would stop her. then the next day would come and there would be flowers, or a heartfelt letter apologizing. I knew […]
for the first time in a long time I feel happy, and it’s not because of anyone but myself. I feel so empowered. I’m starting to wear my tragedies as armor instead of shackles. life is 10 % what happens to you and 90 % how you react to it. I’m tired of being sad and not feeling like I’m not good enough. I know in my heart I’m worth being saved and if no one is willing to save me I’ll become my own hero. only then can I say I made it. I’m half way there and I won’t stop until the life […]
I’ve got so good and pretending to be happy I sometimes even fool myself, but then I come to the quick realization that its just a facade and everything hits me a thousand times harder. The strange thing is I feel as if this only happens to me……
there is always a dawn, you just have to last the night.
life lesson: kill your enemies with kindness. I am my biggest enemy, therefore I will kill myself with kindness.
my heart: broken into a million pieces, my brain: shattered, my soul: no where to be found. I feel as if my body roams this earth but I am already deceased into the dark shadowy pits of hell with no where to go but down. I can physically feel the overwhelming heat burning through my body. my cries for help are consistent and as loud as atomic bombs hitting the ground. yet, no one seems to  hear a thing. I’ve realized I’ve fallen so deep in this trance that no one is there to hear me now. hitting rock bottom is an understatement, people go […]
thousands and thousands of miles may separate us but we are all somehow connected in a weird type of way. nobody really understand us so we all find ourselves here writing as a last ditch effort to miraculously get saved. writing eases my mind and it feels as if the weight of the world somehow gets lifted off my shoulders for a hot second. but lets face it, this site is not interactive enough for me. really looking to make more friends who understands the struggles I continue to face day in and day out. so email me and lets vibe. email: splostgirl hope to […]
email me if you need me, I would love to listen to your stories and just offer a listening ear without judgment because trust me when I say I understand completely. Email: splostgirl@gmail.com
when you told me you loved me, I believed you. now your nowhere to be found and I’m here falling off the deep end with nobody to catch me. this fall feels never ending, like I’m stuck in time, just floating there in emotions greater than sadness, pain, and loss. I’m trapped with no way out. You, you were suppose to save me, I can’t save myself. but now thats my only option. how can one save themselves when they look in the mirror and see absolutely nothing, I don’t even feel worthless, its greater than that, greater than disappointment. it’s just nothing. that’s when […]
It’s like a horrible nightmare I can never seem to wake up from. It haunts me, and just when I think its gone, it comes creeping back. I run, and run, but it always catches me. No distance or time is long enough. It’s become a part of me. Â A cluster fuck of emotions I can’t even being to sort through. It’s almost cruel the way my mind works. It keeps me up at all hours and taunts me till I’m banging my head against the walls, or better yet, till I have that scissors, knife, or razor blade pressed sharply against my skin. I […]
the saddest part: you don’t understand and I would never want you to be able to, because this, this type of sadness is like drowning beneath the waves in water that is two feet deep and all you have to do is stand up to save yourself, but you just can’t.
And it hurts that I can’t be what everyone wants or what anybody needs. And it hurts that I can’t be what I want or what I need. Because I’m not enough and I won’t be enough. And I’ll never be close to enough. And I’m just so damn tired……
I’m not crazy, their there, always there. They linger in the back of my mind and demand to be heard. Oh the pain, the sweet agonizing pain. Have I created monsters inside me in hopes of never being alone?
when the demons inside you come out to play……
Just when I think that I got everything under control, life never ceases to throw a curveball my way. Moral of the story LIFE SUCKS always has, always will. What is hope nowadays? I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom for the thousandth time in two days. What to do, what to do?
I don’t even know why I’m sad anymore. I can’t even remember what it’s like to be happy, thats the sad part. Do you remember being happy? If you do remind me, please!
when I was younger all I wanted to do was grow up, now I just wish I was 5 when life was easy and carefree. Growing up sucks, period.
suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better <3
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