trulymindless1

I don’t celebrate Christmas, or most any holidays really. Despite that I hope you lovely people are enjoying yours, or are at least enjoying something, whether it be a break from school or work or the like…

Anyway, I’ve just been here, in my room, thinking.

As a kid, I had a sort of odd fascination with hypnosis. I watched lots of videos on it and was simply curious about how it worked. I wasn’t sure how real it was.

Then late 2018 or early 2019, I hypnotized someone. Completely by accident. I was in complete shock. Of course I tried not to mess the person up or […]

Just a heads up. This is another of my rambling, somewhat unfocused, rambling posts I tend to do. Anyways:

It’s been a while. Few months since I’ve been lurking around here.

I have my own room now, which is good. Need a bed, but I have no money so, I sleep on a flat air up mattress. Fun.

Started college, for the like 4th time overall, last month. I guess that’s good.

It’s been 4 years and I still lurk around here.. Not sure how I feel about that tbh.

I’ve more or less busied myself with class and trying to once again find work. Employment woes should hopefully end […]

Where did you go? I just hate not knowing if you’re dead or alive. It’s just the worst feeling.. It’s not like I can tell anyone irl about them. That sucks because I could use some reassurance or something. I love you both, one as a good friend, and the other as girlfriend material and that’s no lie. I feel like I’ll never be able to properly connect with people irl, never find love that way. My mind is too much of a mess at this point. It lacks cohesion. Too many random thoughts, and ideas I can’t ever properly express. Nothing helps, not writing […]

So two people from here I’ve talked to for the past 3 years are no longer messaging me at all. Idk what I was even expecting tbh. I cared for them both so much, but in the end, all I could’ve done was try to be there for them both. Now, with the other person I deeply cared for potientally attempting this morning while I was at work unable to try to persuade them one last time to plesse try to get help from someone who’s around, I feel a bit empty.

Idk. I’m trying so damned hard to make something of myself. To get to […]

She attempted while we were chatting on the phone.

I was fairly angry with her, trying to persuade her not to go through with it. Angry and concerned.

She’s been crying nonstop the past few hours, while throwing up and what not.

She finally called someone, but I’m just heartbroken.

All I can do is console her as best I can.

Can’t go visit her, no actual hugs, no kisses on the cheek, nothing.

Listened to her bawl her eyes out.

I feel so useless atm.

Hello again. To whomever is reading this, I geniunely hope things are at the very least, stable for you. Unsure as to why I’m unable to sleep but here I am. It’s been a while again. Things once again feel different here.

I’m not too sure why I feel as detached as I do currently. I feel so far away from all the goings on in general, it’s a bit unsettling. All the changes and updates and everything, I feel so old compared to the young teen fresh out of school headed to college. It’s odd that I manage to keep finding my way back here. […]

Didn’t last too long off the site. Found myself reading posts in the general section again. Not too sure how I’m feeing currently. In another rough patch atm. Jobless and struggling to find another before months end…

I figured I’d post just to get it out of my system. I’m okay. Just… okay. Went back a few days, saw some familiar usernames still around. It’s weird. I’ve been on and off posting here the past four years, and I don’t know how to feel about things, about a lot of things.

I didn’t have the heart to start completely fresh and blend into the background as a […]