Author

Painman

I have no idea what biographical actually means, but Im from torquay (england) Im 34 and am a singer with a very powerful voice and im very lonely (Gf required thanks!)

Ive been too depressed to post lately, not that I havent been writing replies because I have but its come to the point where I just cant bring myself to click the post button ..Â I just think, well, its like something dies in me and I think ‘why bother’?

My whole life and especially the last few years Ive always been unappreciated, even IfÂ I am apprieciated sometimes it doesnt quite weigh the balance back to being so.

I’ve got one person in my life who likes to talk, trouble is he is so negative and destructive in his personality and things he says that it just always […]

7/10/2013 6 comments

My Hope…

by Painman 6/24/2013

written by Painman

Well, after chatting to noonoo (like everybody does it seems haha)Â and telling her thatÂ I am an ‘aspiring’ singer and that my ‘hope’ is my singing, I thought I would share a couple of my newest links! :)Â .. actually I dont know how to get video’s to go straight on to the page, So I’ll just do one … My hope .. My voice .. WrathchildÂ Â (I think it playsÂ in windows media player) … btwÂ Â only for people who like iron maiden!

If anyone can tell me How you can get video’s embedded in the page, then let me know!

6/24/2013 6 comments

Girlfriendable?

by Painman 6/7/2013

written by Painman

Hey, was just talking in another thread about what girls look for in men, noonoo said ‘looks and money’ ..Â I said I was fairly good looking and quite handsome if you catch me in the right light! .. So, thought I’d put some pictures up..

6/7/2013 4 comments

Sick of being judged

by Painman 6/4/2013

written by Painman

Yeah, I’m sick of being judged, judged wrongly all the time. I feel like every little thingÂ I say gets people moving this way or the other. Its pretty shite if you can’t be honest in life and lets face it, the truth is sometimes a bad truth. Is it best to go through life lieing withÂ a front up? I think in some ways it probably is. I’m sick of looking for gold in a land of shit, but the truth is I’m just not particulaly content withÂ my lot in this world of darkness. I look out the window,Â I walk down the street and I […]

6/4/2013 7 comments

This world is full of shit

by Painman 5/31/2013

written by Painman

What does it take to find somebody in this world who actually cares about your situation and who actually works for your benefit? All I keep meeting is people who turn towards their darkside for any little petty stupid thing and people who have nothing but LIES. Here I am, Amphetimine addict who has just had a dealer I’ve known for over a decade stop serving me and blanking me completely just because HIS stuff Â made me paranoid andÂ I guess it tripped him out a bit, after all we havent all gotÂ brain conditionsÂ due to drugs.

I cant find anybody else who sells it and EVERYBODYÂ I know […]

5/31/2013 18 comments

Trash in the water/ I am not trash!

by Painman 9/29/2012

written by Painman

I have thought andÂ battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that whileÂ I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and whoÂ I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life thatÂ I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.

Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me […]

9/29/2012 35 comments

Nothingness

by Painman 9/13/2012

written by Painman

I really am trapped in nothingness, I have a problem where I just cant occupy myself or be active. I dont know wether its due to a neurolocal problem ive got but its like this claw is digging down in my brain, keeping me locked just to my thoughts, my standard of life is so low thatÂ my main things in it are websites and an on going conversationÂ with the samaratans lol .. now thats some life! I did drugs againÂ on the weekend (amphetamine) and it brought me to life,Â felt so much better, spentÂ days writing lots and lots of song lyrics and […]

9/13/2012 16 comments

Suicide ratio men/women

by Painman 9/11/2012

written by Painman

I think ive cracked something, infactÂ I knowÂ I have . As most people know men are extremely more likely to commit suicide than women. I read that 80% of suicides are men and 74% of the time it is white males.

I wonder how much this ratio has to do with the relationship between men and women sexually and love wise.Â black men are generally wanted more.

women are extremely personal in my experience and really quite unforgiving on the large.

They dont really give mankind much (no offence)Â obviously this is a generalisation, but women are usually difficult to please and for men sufferingÂ and inÂ badÂ places they really do have […]

9/11/2012 22 comments

single because of insecurities?

by Painman 9/3/2012

written by Painman

Hey I think Ive realised that maybe I am single because of insecurities, Ive been on the sick a long time for depression and neurolical problems, have a big drug history and Ive lived quite a painful life that maybe i think is just different to what women are looking for. maybe I try to give a different impression but it ends up making me look like a twat, only really on line , but I think inÂ other ways not on the netÂ its also hampering my chances ofÂ findingÂ someone. If someone does like me in real life I usually either miss my opportunity or pullÂ […]

9/3/2012 5 comments

Back here again!

by Painman 9/2/2012

written by Painman

well ImÂ back here again ,Â battled my wayÂ out of my last suicide crisis succesfully for a while but have been plunged back down again. ImÂ a singer and that has been my hope for a long time but a couple of months ago I got problems in my voice and its been husky since. I just cant bare being a 34 year old man , handsomeÂ I would say, with no life, no woman and no opportunties, It really sucks! I feel so cheated and let down by the world, why cant it just be easy to get something from this world? I changed pretty much the […]

9/2/2012 0 comment

Constantly changing love mess

by Painman 3/23/2012

written by Painman

I am constantly changing, going to and throw to and throw from a bad place and maybe an
overly good good, does that sound like bipolar to you? I am sick of having nobody understand me and not being a part of something, my friends dont really know me, well one of them kinda does but mostly ive just been trapped inside with my personality unable to show, Its Like ive been a big balloon full of something expanding and expanding about to explode. Ive talked about good and fighting for the good but I do fall down and this is one of those moments! […]

3/23/2012 23 comments