…that’s what my sister would have wanted.
If she was alive today.. she’d be the strongest and smartest in my family. She is truly the missing link in our world, and what it’s become.
There for i remain strong.
Nothing will stop me from being happy and at peace with this life.
I do this for you, Angel. I know mom still misses you very much.
I know you are watching over me..over all of us.
And I will never give up
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to start my life over again. Locations, friends, schools, jobs, girlfriends and fiancés.. everything. Starting over use to be incredibly hard. But once you reach that end.. there is most often, a fork in the road. And you must choose a path. Death..or starting over. I’ve reached my end enough times to realize that at the end, you lose a lot of cares. And if you can manage to come back a smarter wiser person, you come back with little to lose..but everything to gain. As long as there is breath in my lungs, my heart will […]
I totally recommend the hot tub to calm the nerves. It’s the best during detox for this reason
This post is about a girl..
For the first time since my fiancé left, I’ve found myself between a rock and a hard place. I’ve been fortunate enough to date a couple girls since then, but they weren’t meant to be with me for various reasons.
I’ve spent too much time making friends in a bar atmosphere. I’ve questioned my own confidence and let go of a lot of insecurities. I’ve learned what I should say and not say, what is relevant and what is and is not who I am.
I still need to fix myself and get my shit together.. but […]
I hate my life so much.. I’m gonna kill myself now!
Goodbye everyone
But you’re just like every sorry fuck’n **** I’ve ever met! Yeah that’s right…all your friends warned you about me but you had to be curious. .you just had to find out for yourself and what did you get?
You sit there and play on my every insecurity but HAA.. guess what? They’ve been there longer than you and they will always be mine! Just like you will always be mine… HEY!! Are you listening?? Fuck you..don’t walk away from me!!
You want to talk about things that are a dime a dozen.. well I’m 3 down in a row of 56.5 minus this shit […]
Everyone needs a hero in their life.. and sometimes the world just doesn’t hold enough of them. When times get rough and darkness takes over..there doesn’t seem to be anyone left to take the next step and face the relentless evil that continues to war against the humanity we try so very hard to protect.
That’s when the best of us all must surface..to lay their life on the line for the rest.
If you could shed this mortal coil and become more in this life.. who would you be? What hero would surface to do battle against the darkness?
DeadLeaf is the hero I’ve created to […]
I was gonna write a post that explained all the different shit I’ve had to deal with in my life…
….but i think I’ll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs instead!
*twiddle twiddle*
Sometimes it may look like I have enough answers to improve my own life but truth is I’m barely holding myself together..
In a year I’ve lost my girl, my career is over, I lost my place and my will to make progress has run dry.
There are parts of my own sanity that create conflict in myself and between others..that now, I find myself giving into accepting the fact that I need medical help and councilors to guide me in even the most simplest of ways. I have the motivation but i still find myself in the same situation.
I want to live but […]
Let’s say you’ve just been diagnosed with a terminal illness and the doctors all agree you will be dead in less than a week. You only have 4 and a half days of physical and mental abilities before your brain is gone, you can’t walk or speak and two days after that you will be dead.
The Make a Wish foundation has caught wind of your story and they want to give you one last wish. You only have 4 and a half days to live it up. You must make every second count..
What do you wish for?
Lately I’ve been losing my cool with people more and more.
Past few days has been nothing but conflict with people I know as well as strangers. I lost my job back in February because I simply have no patience with anyone. Starting to think I’ve reached that point where I might not be able to work well with others at all.
People just make me so mad.. and i can’t seem to hold back my anger.
I’m currently trying to get free medical insurance so that I can see a doctor, get a cat scan and blood tests as well as seek behavioral therapy […]
I’m gonna go see Jurassic World tonight by myself..
🙁 I’m so alone.. some one love me please!!
We all gotta do something to raise our own confidence because the lack there of is purely our minds own doing. Some distract themselves, some eat, some play dress up and some crave attention.. well that last one is me. My confidence is in constant flux..always in tune one minute and gone the next minute. Sometimes I really give no shit that I do things purposely to gain attention. One thing my confidence never shatters is certainty in my physical appearance. I feel that I am half gone in my sanity but still a decent looking dude. So I’ve decided to sit pool side for […]
Send me a sign.. tell me that we’re up to something.. other than what we can’t grasp with the palm of our hands.. is it really all worth what the future brings..
The riddles obtained.. from heartbreak and hand grenades.. cause we’ve stayed in one place too long.. we’re bound to be separated…
where we’ve lost all we got..we are not far from strays.. alone and estranged to be tossed up again.. like a coin in the air we will land in some place.. but who will we be when we finally meet the end..
So I
Edit: Idk why it’s not letting me finish […]
But it’s the only place I can say what’s really on my mind.
I’ve lost so much.. more like thrown my life away.
Giving myself fake reasons to keep going. Faking every step forward, but what I’ve really been doing is setting myself up to end my life. Subconsciously tying loose ends so that I may relieve myself from this pain. So that there’s nothing left to hold on to.
I use to come here at a time when I should have been happy..but the fact is that I came here cause I’m most certainly not happy. Things have only gotten worse, and now I try […]
I know there’s nothing I can say to the image left inside you.. when brilliant light decides to shine through..the dark illuminates behind truth..
And you can leave it all behind you..settle for a life I lied to make myself to seem above cruel intentions for a failed youth..
And i can see it leaves a fever.. my faith will make me a believer.. burning every time I see her put her hands together just to pray for me..
There are many fears unspoken.. more than many bones unbroken.. try to close me when I’m open..but i shed a light to see..
But you won’t see me […]
Things haven’t been going well at all…
I just float through life, trying to hold on to something.. seemingly anything there is to try and hold on to. I don’t want to be alone..alone in my life, in how I feel, in how I think and in how I see things from my perspective. I’m not done with this life yet, I don’t want to die like this..
From my wife leaving me, and never even sending so much as a hello via….? Nothing! ..to the sudden realization of mental illness….to constantly losing my job..never being good enough..to being right out used and brutally attacked…and the permanent […]
Some people think life is so easy.. so easy to take.. to live.. life is so fucking easy when you are speaking your own language… but what if I can’t hear it? What if I can’t see it?
Think positive?
Thinking positive isn’t the same as what some would think… A positive notion to me would be if I just so happened to not wake up tomorrow. It’s not that I can’t make my life better (which I probably can’t) it’s that I don’t want life. I hate life. People can’t understand that, and I’m so confused as to why everyone isn’t born with […]
….you have to kill the person!
I’m in so much pain and it’s only gonna get worse.. there’s only one way it will truly stop.
Idk how I’m gonna keep going at this rate
Please log in to report posts