Author

RogueShadow1281

My dad is an asshole and doesn't listen to me. I am agnostic but my dad forces me to go to the jehovahs witness cong. So ive never felt the greatness of celebrations ive never had a gf and i sit and play video games all day im 15 suicide is my answer

I don’t know whether this is my drugged mind speaking… Wait it pretty much is

by RogueShadow1281 3/17/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Things have gone great. Alright checklist time:
Drugs I’m on:
Vicodin check
Penicillin check
Ibuprofen check
Weed check

Perfect smile ____

Cousin is letting me perform oral on her and maybe more? Check

awesome, all in all my life is finally getting exciting. The love of my life is finally taking notice (my cousin) and even though many (most of you) frown upon incest. I absolutely love it. She’s a virgin like me and wants me to make her orgasm or so I persuaded her. She could have said no, but said yes. We’re gonna pick some random date for it and choose a place at random thats […]

3/17/2012 15 comments

Doesn’t matter.. Just read If you like…

by RogueShadow1281 3/10/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I’ve been counting down the minutes at my high school. I can’t take much more of the classes I’m in. I have hubby bars to combat my depression, but will it help my lack of motivation? Will it help me deal with my deep love for my cousin? Will it protect me from throwing my life away, because life is pointless?

In my FOA2 class, which is Focus on Algebra 2, I was talking with my classmates about the glass is half full and half empty and took the pessimistic viewpoint. It’s significant because that’s my personal viewpoint and I clearly stated it, you have […]

3/10/2012 35 comments

Pain in my teeth, THC in my head.

by RogueShadow1281 3/7/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I ate a piece of a hubby bar, I’m not sure if it hit me yet, I guess the put faint traces of weed into it. Too bad, I wanted to use the pain reliever side of the weed. I might spin things up tomorrow by getting stoned. It might help with the pain.

I have pain in my teeth, a massive toothache due to spacers in between my teeth. 2 days and nights left to go before it hopefully subsides. I brushed my teeth 3 times to massage my highly agitated gums and used mouthwash to dull the pain.

I drank wine earlier and […]

3/7/2012 1 comment

by RogueShadow1281 3/6/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Just saying, but I never really was into poetry. I’m sorry if I say things wrong, have horrible grammar or any other mistakes as I am currently high on weed.

Now then, with that cleared up, I’d like to bring back what I might talk about right now. I am absolutely in love for my cousin and want to be with her. My friend finally hooked me up with the hubby bars I wanted as you can see. I hate the poetry on here.

Since weed is considered a truth serum (used in the 1920’s by cops on mobsters to find all the drug […]

3/6/2012 5 comments

Um, good title, good title.

by RogueShadow1281 3/4/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I have no happiness anymore. I have no motivation. No attention to school. No reason to live. This is my lowest point, and I can’t feel better. I just absolutely lost the will. My mind is filled with thoughts on life and a constant need to figure out the meaning of life. I guess I need to be high in order to be normal and to function. My cousin Jasmine and I haven’t seen each other in a long while. I am still in love, but love isn’t the meaning of life so there goes my will, especially since she’s my cousin so I can’t […]

3/4/2012 0 comment

by RogueShadow1281 3/3/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Not to be an asshole to OB1, but I’m getting annoyed by the constant religious crap he writes. Reminds me of my dad, maybe he’s a hypocrite as well, but whatever. I don’t like him though. No offence, but stfu bro. I’m annoyed by his comments. Religion is a waste of time.

This iPhone is too laggy so i won’t write more. Need some weed though, can’t function properly because I’m too depressed to care about anything. What costs more, weed or antidepressants (for the same purpose of depression)

Forget what i said to OB1 i just hate religion. Just don’t try that crap o. Me […]

3/3/2012 5 comments

Voices/Dreams

by RogueShadow1281 3/3/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I had a dream on Wednesday, well more of a nightmare. I used to have that nightmare ever since I was very young. It was about voices. I never knew what they said, but their tone of voice was angered, even disappointed. They hate me, and I asked them why, but then on Wednesday night, after everyone slept, I laid in bed. I heard a long continuous beep and then the nightmare began.

Only, I hadn’t fallen asleep…

Those voices, which may as well be a replay of my dreams all the events that happened in that dream, every one of those nights replayed in my […]

3/3/2012 6 comments

I get angry way too quickly.

by RogueShadow1281 2/27/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I I want to vennt on here but then again i dont. Probably wont just…

2/27/2012 1 comment

by RogueShadow1281 2/26/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

My suicidal thoughts are still here. Iâ€™m easily irritated, but at least I stopped choking. Now I smoke weed to take the stress and pain away. I flirt with my cousin hoping she falls for me, which is only a dreamâ€¦

I go to school, unconsciously shifting through class to class as a monotonous routine. My end feels so distant, yet so close. I want to off myself, but I donâ€™t have the willpower to do it. Fuckin
…

Yeah um sorry bout the anger and rage.
@one_day that electrifying kiss thing was yeah a bit of a thought as true love. Death just seems like […]

2/26/2012 3 comments

Sorry about yesterday new SPers. I was extremely irritated

by RogueShadow1281 2/26/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

So to the new people. I am a 16 year old (17 on the first of march) male who has fallen in love with his 15 year old cousin whom knows about that as I told it to her and she has accepted that. I will make it short as my iphone has become very glitchy and my safari crashes. Well I can’t say I’m doing much better as I have no way of controlling my anger yet my favorite passtime is video games. Thats why i was pissed. I was blinded by rage not realizing there was an autosave feature on this site for […]

2/26/2012 0 comment

by RogueShadow1281 2/25/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Stupid fucking iphone keeps fuckig crashing wont let me go to sp im so fucking pisssed of it just wants me to choke out and cut myself just to taste it fuck u piece shit i fuckmin hate you. Why cant i be eith jasmine fuck u. I need some fuckig weed you ****** this aint helping me i bet fucking safari is gonna crash n my iphone is gonna be completely smashed by morning fuck. Wheres my fucking hubby bars. You favgot i wanna grab a nife n test out cutting i just might witg this mugh anger inside me im so irritated and […]

2/25/2012 2 comments

Hi this is the person in love with his cousin

by RogueShadow1281 1/26/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Had a dream about another random girl generated in my head that may have been someone I saw at school. All that i can say about her is that she was really cute all around and she liked me and she seemed about 1-3 years younger than me.Â

I was sitting, waiting for my 4th period class and I wasn’t doing anything when the dream began. Someone pointed out to me that some girl wanted to talk to me. I saw a girl sitting with her friend and her friends boyfriend. She had straight brown hair, a tie-dye white shirt and blue skinny jeans. I asked […]

1/26/2012 7 comments

Pick your poison.

by RogueShadow1281 1/24/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I think I will go with hanging. The most clique way to suicde if you dont ahve access to a gun. Especially if your underage.

Also I think my cousin Alex, brother of the beautiful Jasmine, has cancer. He told me that he spit out blood recently. I’m not sure if it was for attention since i have the sense of mind that I’m a bit of a higher level in depression than him due to being two years older. Anyways I am a bit worried since it will be at least a year before he dies from untreated cancer. Lots of pain through that […]

1/24/2012 9 comments

Selfishness mostly

by RogueShadow1281 1/24/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Every once in a while, my mom notices I’m lazy and won’t even call my dad to pick me up. She says I am selfish that I dont do anything for anyone but myself. I believe I am. Im not sure who i am anymore. I feel uneasy and unsure about everything now. I don’t know why though. I think I’m bipolar, but a few months ago i thought i had insomnia cuz i didn’t sleep some of the time.

Now Im unsure again, my mood is a bit erratic or unsteady. But it might be that i play video games and become easily irritated and […]

1/24/2012 13 comments

I’m really tired of this lofe I have. Fuck my spelling

by RogueShadow1281 1/21/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I have been irritated off and on like a bipolar fuck, no patience in the world mainly because my dad’s too much of a tight ass to let me spend one fucking day with my cousins because their mom is never home yet my other aunts and uncle live there too but no getting through that moron unless another adult tells him that. He told me he needed me to earn his trust again after one of my cousins snitched on me and Alex about smoking weed, apparently together yet we never did. I cant believe this shit. I am angry as fuck and just […]

1/21/2012 3 comments

I’m still sane. Told my cousin the truth

by RogueShadow1281 1/15/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Im still sane.
I told my cousin how I’m in love with her and that I think about her all the time, told her my dream where I ask her out which to me shows this love isn’t a horny attempt for a teenager to get laid with his hot cousin.

I believe sometimes that my love for her iss an ill attempt to find love again after being heartbroken by Nycolle. My love is real and not some incest bound love, because if she were anyone else i would fall for her either way. I wish to exchange a kiss so badly and hopefully […]

1/15/2012 4 comments

I don’t post much anymore… Not like I matter…

by RogueShadow1281 1/2/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I’m suicidal again, four years I’ve been depressed as far as I can remember. Had low self esteem for longer and I kept hearing and reading things WILL get better. I understand everyone is different, but I can’t go on hoping I will find happiness. I don’t want to wait another year, so unless I think otherwise or something along the lines of my not suiciding because I never take chances (by the way, I never take chances). I will probably ***** out, because I am afraid of taking my own life.

I was watching No Strings Attached and decided to stop watching near the […]

1/2/2012 7 comments

The day before christmas.

by RogueShadow1281 12/24/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Javier’s demise, hopefully my time to cry in the darkness, and also the day I do nothing at all except groan and whine in my bed, not getting up for anything…
___________________________________________
I was using my alarmclock on my iPhone and it said kill yourself at 5:57 am from 1-3 years ago and then 6:13am do it for Nycolle… You know you still love her…

I should have done it. Still not over her, still not over my depression. Still shrouded in the darkness, not to scythe darkness is a bad thing but while at the edge I am close to falling. Especially a willing […]

12/24/2011 2 comments

Hello… I am the insane monster of the night.

by RogueShadow1281 12/23/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Rogue Shadow.
Considered a demon, but just a living shadow. He has many similarities to Nathan. He’s a shadow, no one sees him. He makes no noise when he creePs. People fear what kind of fucked up head he has. And maybe they are evil. They do always show their crazy side at midnight, esPecially on full moons…

Mr_Sebastior: I always enjoyed speaking to you. How crazy have your thoughts been?
Javier: The satanist phase, want to explain what exactly a satanist believes and whatnot.

SP Admin.: Don’t mind this post, I’m not a harm to myself or others… Yet.

Jamiejajamie: If you were to read […]

12/23/2011 12 comments

Been off OSP for a while…

by RogueShadow1281 12/21/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Some may know me. Some may not. Or actually many don’t. How many others are minors that want to end it all? How many can’t get rid of tue depression? Don’t answer the question, it’s rhetorical. Answer the first question though.
___________________________________________

I don’t have much to say as I really don’t want to think insane thoughts and what not. Jamiejajamie I miss you.
Mr_Sebastior: hello I see you aren’t dead yet and hopeful you read my message.

To those of you that don’t know me… I am RogueShadow1281, or my real name is Nathan, but I prefer Rogue to anyone online. I haven’t gotten diagnosed […]

12/21/2011 8 comments

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