I think I might actually be chucking bipolar. I’m playin video games, and then I’m suddenly angry as fuck like right now and then I came down after a while everything ends up pissing me off. And to make matters fuckin worse my mind drifts often so I end up thinking about murdering his stupid ass and then I think about killing myself. Grrrr!!! I’m fuckin angry as fuck and the only thing I wanna do is airsoft but my dad doesn’t like weapons so he only likes using his fists to kick my ass but that’s all I wanna do other than video games. […]
on Tuesday, my hair reached my eyebrow, on Wednesday, my arms hurt and legs too and my hair doesn’t reach close to it. Why? Well I got my ass kicked because my dad thought it was time for a haircut.
I was reading posts on my shitty cell phone, when my dad comes in and says I need a haircut. I tell him no, he says I have too, I say why, he says you have to,
Me: what will hair do to me, kill myself, murder, rob a bank, what’s wrong with it
Him: no that I trust u not to do, you need one
that wretched day was my birthday. I just turned 16, I didn’t expect anyone to know about my birthday and even with Facebook, no one knew about it. I don’t blame them. They ain’t reliable people and I don’t talk to them enough. Also I used to never celebrate my bday. The only gift I got was a 5 finger discount off a pair of earphones at best buy and panda express that I paid for myself. Only good thing about that day was seeing my beautiful and amazing cousin jasmine whom is related to me so I can’t get her because I fell in […]
or has anyone else noticed that your mood goes down when u go on this website… My mood goes way down, lower than the usual… But yeah just had to say this before my mind wanders again and I’ma choke again in 3.. 2.. 1…
I have learned that when you feel down… Really down and almost out, try to accept your depression. For me, when I accepted it (in a way), for about a week I was happy, nothing mattered. A whole week of happiness, only problem is, getting back on my drug called depression, I ended up feeling worse. I read something for the California High School Exit Exam Test practice(CAHSEE) and it said. There should be a day where you tell everyone not to bug you. Prepare your clothes and everything so you can just do whatever the he’ll you want. Walk to the stores, go window […]
i ain’t like most people here. That don’t mean I ain’t like anyone here, I’m the same but also different. I have never been raped, I’m a guy, I’ve thought about committing the act of rape. I hide behind big words in a text to seem smart, but in person I can’t say the words right, and I choke and stutter… I am mexican, you are white, black, brown, yellow, whatever… I don’t cut, instead I choke…..
And I don’t mean choke the chicken, but I do masturbate also, but I literally asphyxiate myself… Why do I do that, don’t I know I lose 1000 […]
My demise… I wish there was something I could do to be remembered, but I am just lost. I wasted so much precious time playing video games, going to school, all that crap. That doesn’t mean I’m already past all that. I’m still wasting time. Wish I could go down with a bang, but I won’t, unless I suicide with a pistol of some sort. Hopefully a Colt… Or maybe a Revolver, just so my neighbor will remember how his favorite gun killed someone he knows. Ha, anyways I want to live and die fighting. I want to lead an army of outcasts(or some army) […]
Innocence. Everyone who is innocent, wish there were more of them. I am a virgin, but I rarely drink or smoke, so I wish I could say I am innocent (but you know shit can’t be pure or innocent). I used to be in love with a pure girl, too bad she didn’t give me a chance (too bad you stalked her on facebook with those love messages) =(. I have now fallen for my cousin, she aint close to innocent, shes young but drinks and wishes she could smoke weed. I love her dearly but she aint innocent. Wish she wasnt from Chicago so […]
The idea of suffering is used as a sense of being constantly in pain. Or something like that, I don’t feel like checking wikipedia for that. Anyways, I think I enjoy suffering. I am a pessimist also, I pity myself and feel like shit all the time. I always ***** about how I will never have my first girlfriend, even though I tell myself I’m too scared. I enjoy putting myself down. Also, whenever I go on this site. The fact that it’s got to do with suicide, makes me depressed just going on here, yet while I’m in high school classes. I go on […]
Oh my god. Humans are considered many things. Mostly evil, often disguised as nice. Anyways this is just my ranting about random crap while listening to the flobots (whoo!!! Jk I don’t say that) anyways I think there is many things I think about when I’m bored… And lemme tell you, my home is extremely boring at my dads place, but my moms place is better. Anyways, what’s the point in living with such evil creatures [humans]? I am still depressed, but I think I kind of accepted my depression and felt happy? Idk if that’s what caused me to feel better but as a […]
Well, I am writing again how life is hard for me. I am not a rape survivor or anything very big like some of the other people on here, but that doesn’t mean life is great. I cannot tell my parents anything. i have no self-esteem, never had a girlfriend, failing school, stepmom hates me, dad doesnt listen to me. Yesterday, I felt fatigued, my head hurted, muscles ached, back hurted, and i looked it up and found out for the 50th time. i have a high chance of severe depression. Only problem is, I can’t get the ****in balls to tell my mom about […]
So, I’m tired of life. All I do is daydream because life is so dull. I feel like I fucked up my life and my brain. I have depression, my stepmom/stepbitch (as i like to call her) is a *****, my dads a moron, my brother’s annoying and my friends are more like enemies. I fell in love with this perfect girl since 3rd grade and would think about her all the time. she rejected me on myspace. it devastated me. i tried marijuana and theres a chance it fucked my brain up, maybe im just paranoid. now i sit and dream as i stare […]
I wish I could be a hero for once. Take a stand instead of saying I’m a do it real soon. Sometimes I wish I could be a cool kid, getting hugs by random girls, and have fun doing cool stuff. I wish I could have my first kiss. Have my first girlfriend. Get the girl of my dreams(Nycolle). But life can never be a fairytale and because of that I will never be remembered as someone great. Why can’t I get drafted at 15 years old instead of 18 years old so I can die for something greater. I don’t want to be that […]
Church is a shithole where stupid-ass pricks think they can go and pretend like they are saints and they can’t take shit from anyone. They love exploiting peoples weaknesses and saying things like,” Oh!!! That is very sinful of you, if you don’t stop, you will go to hell. People scare believers so they can believe the bullshit. I hate going and church believes in dusty old books that everyone should make a new edition and stop reading the crappy old one. I feel like burning down my church and everyone who makes it out alive, shoot them in the face. I want to slaughter […]
Life is so boring. It looks like it takes forever doing nothing, so here I am sitting bored as f***. I stumbled upon this site wondering if I could talk to the dead, what would be the quickest and least painful way to die. I am watching a shiny and sharp knife in the kitchen and I wonder how long will it take, how much force, and most important will it hurt a lot before I die? I grab my earphones and see if rhey can choke and put it around my neck wondeting if it’ll be quick. I look at all the ways to […]
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