Hey uh I’ve been gone for a while maybe a bit more then that and I feel super like shit I can’t seem to get better I just feel like I’m living the same boring life it’s as if there’s nothing more to do anymore that can help me what do I do
I’m having a hard time on what I’m feeling with this guy in with. Seriously its like he gets mad for everything I can’t do right like fuck man I either want to have fun on gta ny way but nooooo like wtf n then same with our cat like I don’t know wht the fuck is up with this guy idk I just need to vent
Why is that I feel so scared and so paranoid now that he’s cheated on me twice. I feel as if I were back in when I had a abusive relationship but different. Why is that I feel that way? Is there something wrong with me? I mean I could just trust him again. But I’m scared to do that. Like what if he does it again. What if my friends are right? What if I am just letting him get away with it? Help me please I dont know what to do or feel . I should let it go shouldn’t I ?
you know i feel depressed i feel like i really shouldn’t be here anymore i feel like i don’t belong here on earth or anywhere. I know this sounds lame or dumb or you’ve heard it before i know and i’m sorry but god damn sometimes you have to understand we’re human to you know. I’ve just been down more then usual. I don’t feel like myself anymore for some reason. I feel like i’ve just lost all hope and its just bringing me and others down. Should i just end it or should i wait and see if it gets better like people say […]
Welp lets see its all in the name ive started to do…… coke now not weed n pills or k2 anymore I moved up to coke and u no I think its cause I just stopped caring I was doing so good then my friends crashed into my family in the back nothing happened then my gpa got mad told me its always my fault for stuff like this and then my friends made me really happy then my gpa again fucks it up tells me im stupid and crazy well maybe I am I just ugh I give up drugs music thats what helps […]
Yesterday I wanted to commit suicide so I cut sure it wasn’t on or near the vein but I cut. Today I wanted to commit suicide so I cut right below the veins and I felt yeah I’m better now. But then the future came and my other side said “well today is pleasant isn’t it” and I thought yeah it is. “Well think about this if it is pleasant why are you still here shouldn’t you be dead anyways no one would care” so I thought ya he’s right. So I did I cut right on the veins deep deep into them I watched […]
So today I met a guy really sweet and generous he went thru the same things that I have has the same things as me and we got along really well that guys in a band and going to the urban fest I can’t wait to see him again he has that guy has burn scars yet hes helping the outcasts in ways he could never imagine and I feel so glad to call him a ftiend that guy didnt say his name yet when we met next time ill update this that guy has a wonderful personality and everythings I am happy for him […]
Lately I’ve been having more of these relapses and hurting myself I want someone and I need some one to just help me with this ive been getting them mpre then usual now I dont know why
Hi guys I’m back my computer broke and I got a new phone so here I am how are you guys and also been busy with the band
My x is just wow he cheated on me and then all of a sudden today at lunch hes like hey i made a mistake i know and im stupid i lost the best thing ever can you give me another chance im like no
why
cause your a liar and cheater
so what i can change
um no ive seen how you are even now you flirt you cheat you think everythings a game well how about no you dumb fucking liar huh
….wow youre more mean
well so what everyhting thats happened to me i guess makes me abit colder and colder
ok well whatever i dont need you
ok i […]
im tired of trying to please everyone but myself. im tired of pleasing my parents(grandparents). tired of trying to please my so called friends. tired of trying on everything. im just tired of getting up to go to the same shit everyday. getting yelled at cause im failing my classes well for your fucking information im taking pre ap which is better then regular classes and its changed since your fucking time. getting picked on made fun of being a expierment for my friends just so they can have fun cause i wont stand up for myself well guess what keep doing it but when […]
fucking crappy ass friends i have. so this is how it is i decided to bring to of my friends to this band cncert thing cause i wanted to spend time with them. My other friend who is my ex, so is the one i was taking, want to go along so i said ok so i was going to buy another one. when i told them they were like if hes going then im not. i got so pissed that i said something i regreted i said fine i dont need you guys for anything anyways. this part i regret but this part i […]
So friendship is something we all have and go through the laughs the vets the betrayal. So why is it that me being an idiot doesn’t want to get close Im afraid of getting betrayed and hurt. OS that just me when I’m in a friendship or do you guys and girls have it too. I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one who pushes people away when they try and get near to you.
So im really heartbroken that my now x bf the one that helped me with everything and to get back up and feel good about my self has been cheating on me from the very beginning. Ill be taking my leave for about 2 days or maybe 2 weeks but ill try to get on a write something good for you guys. Good bye.
okay this got delted so ill write it short and simple bullying. guys making fun of me and saying really mean bullshit. they dont listen to the teacher or me so….. i told them to stfu cause they dont know me or my story or anyone to be making comments like ah im so dumb i just want to blow my brains out like stfu you twat fucker fuck sake man. I told them that isnt funny they laughed. so i got up and punched the ***** in the face like the he is. and his other two friends two i told them that they […]
So these dreams that I have they are all from that voice I hear and shadow I see. All these dreams of gruesome murders I hate it. They don’t stop first it was Adam even though he passed that thing uses him against me in my dreams. Then my dad he passed away so much blood and gunshots that from that day I hated loud noises. In my dreams he makes me remember everything that happened that day. Then my cousins brother I forgot how he looked but I remember he committed suicide by hanging himself. So in the dreams he has a blank face […]
So i get blamed for everything when it comes around my friends. They fight they put me in the middle they stop talking “omg its all your fault you shouldnt even got in it the first place” um excuse you ***** youre the one putting me in the middle of this shit so how about you fuck off you fucking ****. Relationship ends they tell me to help them cause they dont what to do i tell them straight up facts of why it didnt work “omg youre not even helping dont even try anymore okay even if i listen itll end and its going […]
So lately all my friends want me to help them with relationships of their own. I don’t know all the answers sometime and thats what usually makes me feel bad. When i can’t find out how to help i feel bad i cry and just go on a rampage. One of my exs still a very good friend of mine started to tell me to focus on my own relationship. For some reason i never listened but now a days all i try and do is be there for them. But then my so called friends make me feel like crap cause im not helping […]
So I don’t use this kind of stuff of chats or Facebook anymore. Iive Bvb n I’m part of the Bvb army. People always tell me o you’re so imo go kill yourself just for liking them. I like botdf people tell me that its gay and tell me I’m worthless and like getting raped just cause of a band. That hurts they don’t know that I was raped when I was in fifth then 7th n 8th then freshman year. They dont know me they don’t know my story but I guess my music defines how I like to be treated. I like suicide […]
So once i had went to a aslyum for my cuts. I had met so many people had i saw past they cuts and burns they were beautiful with words and drawings and anything. But there was on that stood out the most. It was the first time ive ever seen someone with a huge deep slash on their throat. That person was always alone looking out the window like if he was waiting or just thinking. So i thought well let me see if i can talk to him. Everyone said he never talked so i thought well this is going to be difficult […]
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