Chronic Pain

2

Broken

  September 8th, 2015 by melodychild

I am broken

I fear I’ve always been this way

what was it that broke me?

i doubt anyone could say

the doctors are confused

I lived a good life

supporting parents

no abuse

yet I’m broken

i often pretend I’m not

pretend I’m whole

pretend I’m happy

but I can never pretend for long

 

 

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11

I can be pretty and hate myself too

  September 8th, 2015 by notworthremembering

I just need someone to listen, to hear me, to understand me. I’m so tired of people thinking the “smart, pretty” girls have it all. I don’t. I don’t think that just because you are good looking, or smart, or popular, or even a nice person, that it should cancel out feelings of a different caliber. But society thinks it does. Because people think I have it all, I should be happy. I surely don’t have it all, just keeping up with appearances. I fake it and I fake it well.
I don’t have any one specific reason to hate myself, I just do. I …

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7

Rant… rant…

  September 7th, 2015 by Trix

I feel like if I could just feel happy sometimes, I could make it happen more often. Is there anyone else who hardly remembers being happy? I have better times, but they’re still painful. I still feel virtually powerless over my depression. I feel like I should have it figured out by now. It’s been years.

I looked in the mirror earlier, and apart from the walking stick and dressing gown, I looked like an ordinary healthy person. Some days I can function almost completely normally, and I think I must have been exaggerating – I hardly remember what the worst days were like. But it …

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12

Sarin

  September 5th, 2015 by Trix

It’s only been a couple of weeks since we stopped talking and it already feels like months. I feel so lonely now, but overall it’s easier this way. I think about the things that happened a bit less all the time, and I’m not waiting for your emails. But I still think about you every day. I miss the things you said so much. I think about everything bad that happened, and all the reasons our relationship was crumbling away, why it ended and why I shouldn’t get back in touch with you. And I remember all the things you said when we first met. …

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3

In my world, the weather is ill

  September 5th, 2015 by Rory959

“Rory, what’s the weather like in that head of yours?” 

“In my head?”

“Yes, what’s the weather like?”

“The weather is…ill.”

“And by ill, you mean?”

“I mean…the weather does not bode well for how I’d rather be feeling.”

“So what you’re saying is, you would like to be happy but thoughts prevent you from such happiness?”

“Sure, you sound like you already knew that.”

“To an extent, but I’d like to hear it from you. Tell me all about this ‘weather’.”

“It’s cloudy, like it usually is. I can’t see or feel the sun against my skin. I can’t hear the birds singing. I can’t smell anything but the inevitable rain soon to …

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7

Humbled

  September 4th, 2015 by Rory959

I get told quite often that I’m a humble man. I’m only 20, but maybe this rings true to my personality. Why though? I think it’s because of all the shit that’s been thrown at me for as far back as I can remember. All the bullying, all the death and loss, all the yelling. I always wanted it to go away, to end and never once start up again. A futile request…I know.

But I think that is what has made me humble. Because I can’t care anymore. No matter how much I try to muster up an ounce of fucks to give about

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3

Depression sucks

  September 4th, 2015 by deadgirlwalking13

I will get this out of the way now. I have been depressed for about four years now. I have always hated everything about myself, then everything started adding on top of it until my first suicide attempt. I was saved by my boyfriend’s older brother, who called the police when I told him what I had done.

Since then, I have started anti-depressants and started therapy. I still have days that I hate myself and who I am. But I am getting better. It doesn’t help that I am fat, obese, chubby, whatever you want to call it. After a debilitating injury, I gain a …

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3

Life is so Unfair

  September 2nd, 2015 by soontobeanorexic

If theirs one thing I’ve learned in my life so far, its that life is so damn unfair. You could be the greatest human being in the world but if you were born under really shitty circumstances, none of that really matters. Because you cant accomplish anything if you have nothing, or not enough, to start with. All I ever wanted is a normal life. Just a stable family. A stable mom, a stable dad, living under stable circumstances. But no, I’ve got none of that. The truth is I shoudnt have been born.

So where do I start? I’ll start with my dad. He came …

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2

Going for a change

  September 1st, 2015 by YuTasogare

Things lately have been pretty hard for me, going to my mom’s house and therefore leaving my dad’s house. My parentes breakup was something that really has affected me, before that I can’t remember a single thing in my life that isn’t perfect. I know my memory may be deceiving me but if it’s how you remember it, being real or not, for you it really happened. Memories can be so deceiving, but I know a perfect life or time doesn’t exist, life isn’t something this easy but I guess if it was there would be no fun in it, right?

Well, my father has depression …

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5

I’ve never felt so alone

  August 29th, 2015 by disgusting

The worst day was last week, seeing the guy I have loved so deeply and gave my all to go for the first girl who showed interest. Given the time to think, I really hate her. She played innocent to get my confidence as well, so that I would tell her how much I love this guy. When in secret, she was telling him she was interested in him. He goes for it because she is young, short and skinny. She admits to having multiple boyfriends and being polyamourus and the one she lives with looks well older than me. I don’t think it’s romantic. …

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3

Still Alive… and depressed

  August 28th, 2015 by Sev

I don’t know how much time i have left…
i’ve been trying for so long, sometimes i find some strength to live another day…
But this wish of dying always come back
I don’t have any hope that i will get better
I am sure that one day i will kill myself
I don’t want to be this way
I don’t have nothing beside my addictions
I think i’m an idiot
I feel like i’m hurting everyone around me
I smoke, i drink and i use drugs
Nothing can take this pain away
I’m so sad… i don’t know if i can fight against this anymore…
I don’t want to go outside anymore
I’m so afraid.

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16

I’ll be gone within the week

  August 27th, 2015 by adamarose193

As the title states. Within the week I’ll be dead. I just need to make sure I get last minute things taken care of before I go. I have a few attempts in the past. Wrist cutting never did the trick no matter how deep I went. I’ll hang myself this time. I have the rope already set up at a perfect length for a drop hanging. And I know where I’m going to do it. I have hopes and dreams like most people. I unfortunately will not have them fulfilled. I am ex military, married but separated and had 2 girls with my wife. …

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5

Which way?

  August 24th, 2015 by YuTasogare

It’s the second time I write here today. I really thought things would take a turn for the better but It wasn’t the case. It makes some pretty good time since I got this bad. I just wanna cry but I simply can’t, maybe it’s because I don’the have the option to fail this time. Like my life would crumble if I did that, there was also one other thing that bothers me. My family have seen the pages I’ve been accessing and then they found out about suicideproject.org. No need to say they are very worried about me but even so they

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14

Save me from myself

  August 24th, 2015 by YuTasogare

Well, it’s the third day since I’ve left my dad’s house, yesterday I was very confident that everything would work just fine, now I’m not that sure… I’ve been feeling simply terrible since that, I simply don’t know what to do, which way to follow, I just want want someone to speak with, but who would want to be with me at a time like that? Even I don’t want to, I wish I could simply feel better but I can’t I don’t know for sure what’s wrong, but I’m sure something is just off… so many months and years having my feelings only …

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7

  August 24th, 2015 by irrelevantpup

I am a girl who is 19 years old. For years I have always contemplated suicide. I have physically harmed myself in many ways, including hitting my head against stuff, punching walls, and cutting up my hands. Recently, I have been thinking into deeper matters. Life usually is supposed to get better, right? Doesn’t occur in my case. Regardless of what goes on in my life, no matter how positive I am in all situations, nothing ever good happens. Yes I hear the whole it gets better speech, everything anybody can name and all the stuff from the books. I’ve heard personal experiences and all …

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3

It never ends

  August 24th, 2015 by blank24

It never seems to end. I am 24 now and I am still depressed. I have been to six different psychiatrists/therapists and I have been on many meds. I still spiral down into deep depression. I have been threatening to kill myself for years but I don’t have the guts. A part of me does not want to die. It’s like I have this thing inside me that is evil and wants to kill me. It wants to hurt me. I always get more sad when I think about killing myself. It’s like someone else is killing me. I feel like a victim of myself. …

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2

  August 24th, 2015 by 19isenough

Just found this site and I need to rant. I’m a 19 year old male and I have nothing to live for. My close friends have left the state so I have pretty much no one anymore. I just lost another girl. Another girl who was raped. I’ve only had two girlfriends. The first ones brother raped her and took her virginity and she FORGAVE him.  I’ll never understand how victims let that go. My cousin and my mom were also raped, so you could say it’s something I take seriously. I want them dead. But when I tell these girls that, somehow I’m overreacting. …

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1

Lost & Confused.

  August 23rd, 2015 by jazzyj

For the past four years I’ve struggled with PTSD, Anxiety & Depression, but the thing is I think I had anxiety and depression before I even figured out I had it…5 years ago I was 15,lost and confused.. To start off my first year of highschool was a fail and I pretty much quit the first week, I went to one class everyday for a week because all of it was over too whelming for me and I didn’t understand why I figured you know it’s highschool it’s probably over whelming for everyone, but I knew it was different for me when I started thinking …

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2

Kill the lights

  August 23rd, 2015 by Runthejewels

Young. Black. College educated. Woman.

There is no hope for me. There is no help for me. I feel an immense sense of inadequacy. I feel like a burden on the world. I feel burdened by the world.

 

And I want to kill myself? I consider death often, I’m not sure if I fear it or welcome it. Maybe a bit of both. Am I  trapped?

 

There’s deep stigma around mental health issues in the black community. So I have no one to turn to without being chastised about my moral weakness and lack of willpower. Which is why I’m here.

 

Should I die now? Do I deserve to …

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2

I hate myself

  August 22nd, 2015 by jules1769

I hate myself. I realized after all this time people must hate me for a reason. Probably the same reasons I hate myself. They don’t say the things they do for a reason. I used to think they r just being mean. R something but now I don’t blame them for saying the things they do. I just want to stop feeling like this, but this is what I deserve. Feel the same? Wanna talk to me? Idk wanna contact me for some reason? Kik-julesmccaffrey1769

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