Chronic Pain

3

I don’t know

August 16th, 2015by jules1769

I’m crying. So badly right now. All alone. I’m so fucking alone. That’s all I feel loneliness. Emptiness. And sometimes I feel nothing at all. One minuet I’m fine the next I find myself shattered into a million pieces. I can’t do this. I can’t. I just can’t. I’m giving up. I don’t know anymore. Don’t know what to do. Don’t know how to be happy. Don’t know how to fix this. I’m wondering if today should be the day.

I’m giving up.

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3

Chronic illness, life is over

August 16th, 2015by sparrowhills

I am a 23 year old guy and I have been diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune condition called lupus. What this means is that my immune system finally caught up with my brain and started hating itself as much as I did before I even knew what the word “lupus” meant. My body is destroying itself and if I choose to keep living, I will live every day for the rest of my life in pain with the looming threat of facing severe organ damage or becoming permanently bedridden. Having lupus means that something as innocent as spending 2 minutes in the sun could cause my immune system to …

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2

Dumping all my thoughts here

August 15th, 2015by lostindreams

I haven’t really gotten a chance to vent to others. Most of the time I’m too afraid to actually spill what’s on my mind to those closest to me, or my thoughts are too jumbled that I can’t really describe what I’m feeling very well so I have to brush it off and say ‘oh it’s nothing, don’t worry about it’ or ‘it’s a long story’. So when I saw this site I was pretty happy because not only can I actually say what I’m actually thinking without the fear of being stigmatized, but I can actually help myself cope by sharing everything that’s been …

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1

do I try again?

August 14th, 2015by melodychild

Failed suited attempts are a pain in the butt. They lock you up in a hospital, everyone freaks out. You feel this huge amount of guilt, and rarely no relief that you’re alive, only more depression becuase you didn’t succeed. Family always makes you feel guilty, how could you do this? Why didn’t you tell me. Like duh , if I told you, you would’ve stopped me, and I wanted to die. Then comes the painful process of “getting better” “learning to be happy”. You’re supposed to make all these steps so you don’t do it again and promise you’ll get help. But when you …

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4

Yeah fuck it

August 14th, 2015by noefx

What the fuck would you do when
Most friends are not as close as they should
When politics and world’s health hurts
When you’ve been brilliantly single more than idiots more than bad people deserve
I’m not depressed, I just hate the system we live in, politics and the games people play
It made me sick, I’m stuck inside myself,
Nothings changing, Watching everyone,
Every moron be happy and progress
While I dream of not waking up
While the earth is dying from millenials of greed. conversely the only thing giving me hope is the imminent apocalypse.
It’s not depression, it’s my today, it was
Yesterday or tomorrow..
What do you do when it’s …

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4

What if I were different?

August 13th, 2015by 000000

I know a lot of talented people. I’m in junior high, and I already know people who qualify to teach piano, get first place in provincial level athletics, got perfect on their advanced harmony exams, or even first in a nation-wide mathematics competition. Everyone else I know is blessed with some kind of glorious, useful talent. Something that is measurable in levels or ribbons. I get stuck with art. I used to be so proud of my artwork, that I could actually create something that others could enjoy. At the age of 12, I had already started doing commissions and auctions on DeviantArt. I was so pleased …

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0

Stop

August 12th, 2015by Der Wahnsinn

Now I am different
They have changed me
But I still hold that
There are too many people
I cannot bear them
They torment me with their jokes
Still the evil of noises
Is the beating of their hearts
Stop! Don`t move
Stop! Don`t move
I cannot, cannot bear it
Stop! Stop beating
Don`t you see? I`m not too lucky
Still you pump blood and
You grow in number
Coming over me in flocks
I cannot bear you
I`m trying to get rid of you
In my dreams I hear
The thunderings of your heartbeats
Stop! Don`t move
Stop! Don`t move
I cannot, cannot bear it
Stop! Stop beating
In a standstill in my chest
A dead heart is no loss
Don`t move
No one will torment me for funs
I shall bring …

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9

Symptoms…. Of What? Asking for help.

August 12th, 2015by KissOfDeath

So, this is very different than any other of my posts,
but I have been experiencing some “feelings” and I cannot find a name to these symptoms.
I feel like I can communicate with an outer me, such as if I had a twin, it’s very strange, it started with mirrors, and now I feel like I am not alone, although I am sitting in my room alone, such as another person is her. (Another version of myself.)
I have experienced this before, but only when I have been exhausted, and/or when I go from being surrounded by people for a long/short period of time, to be …

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1

Mysterious Misery

August 11th, 2015by KissOfDeath

It’s mysterious,
the day you change,
suddenly feelings are engulfed by darkness,
and it feels as if you’re carrying a darker shadow than usual.

You wonder if people notice,
but you don’t think they can,
until you get that one person who says “Why are you so different all the time now?”
and you realize that everyone has noticed,
they’ve just been too polite to say anything.

You curse yourself,
but how could this be your fault?
This isn’t something you wanted,
this isn’t something you can change.
You swallow down the pills,
that numb your brain, feelings,
yourself.
To please you parents, your family, your significant other.

You hate this feeling,
but you …

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4

I’m losing it

August 10th, 2015by dontknowmyname

I dont know what to do, I have really bad mood swings.. ups and downs.. cant controlhow myself.

Last year, I tried to get help by a psychotherapist because of that and because I have bad anxiety, couldnt go into a little bit crowded place without wanting to cry out of panic and feeling (but not doing) I’ll pee myself, but I realized that the therapy wasn’t helping and  I am the only one who can help my self and so I stopped going there. The Therapist doesn’t seem to understand me. Getting that fact and starting to meditate, I really felt like I got myself …

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7

My Future…

August 10th, 2015by jmd1092

Life is caving in around me… the life I have has changed. The girl I love and the children I’ve raised don’t give me the time of day, the love has just vanished. I’ve done everything right but I have nothing more to give. I can’t take what this feeling is anymore… I’ve lost her once and now it’s happening again and I can’t go through it twice…Everyone tells me life is to short to dwell on this but I know i can’t do this without her… tomorrow doesn’t seem to look any brighter.

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16

#SuckMyFuckDepression

August 10th, 2015by MaybeImAlreadyGone

Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been  in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.

First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why  you should take …

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1

One day soon

August 10th, 2015by onedayysooon

I can feel it in my palms, the way they sweat more than usual. Like when I’m anxious (always) they get a little clammy. But these past few weeks I’ve had this feeling. That strange feeling , its even difficult for me to comprehend. & I feel it in my gut everyday. Ya’ know, most people tell me “don’t do it, you’re selfish if you do.” “you’d kill yourself over a person who killed themselves? that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” But the truth is, it’s not the dumbest thing a person has heard. Especially if that person was now left alone, due to …

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3

Fake

August 9th, 2015by clay

I get this feeling like everything around me is fake. And by fake I don’t mean, like, not real. I know some people have trouble with differentiating reality and unreality, but that’s not me(well, i don’t think). When I say fake, I mean insincere, without genuine feeling or life, mediocrity somehow passing as being better than it is.

Let me give some examples

It starts with like the food I eat, how little care went into its processing or to the animals that were slaughtered, the packaging, the assembly line factories

The clothes I wear, again, how weightless the feel on my body, processed without feeling and worn …

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11

Reasons why in goong to kill my self.

August 9th, 2015by Thedaytoforget

1. Im ugly
2. I’m addicted to porn
3. Never had a girlfriend who truly loved me
4. I was raped by my best friend.
5.My family thinks im a dumb ass
6. I have a dream to sing, but lets face it isn’t happening.
7. Even my mom tried to kill me
8. I’ve learn in this world there is no love, but simply someone u dislike the least.
9.US politics
10.i feel unloved

 

 

 

 

11. No one will read this.

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0

I just dont care

August 8th, 2015by Emotional

Having a bad day and ive only been up an hour. Im pretty sure im not well but dont have the fight in me to care. To try and numb the pain ive takin tramadol and double dose of sleeping pills. I have even pulled out the dress and shoes id like to be cremated in.they are hanging next to my bed. I probably should whrite that doen sonewhere. Not thst a dress will make a difference ill still be a fat ugly corpse

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0

Triggered

August 7th, 2015by vee

Last night I had the most triggering dream ever. I’ve been thinking all day about it and this is the most depressed I’ve felt in a while. Also, because of this, today I planned to tell my mum about it but then my brother decided to tag along. I didn’t tell her, probably never will. What a failure of a person, what a waste of space.

-V

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3

Inside of my mind

August 7th, 2015by jules1769

Another night. I’m by myself in my room and my mind is racing, a million different thoughts going through my head. My boyfriend won’t answer don’t have many friends it’s just me myself and not I but my thoughts. They haunt me at 1 in the morning they are the reason I can’t sleep. I’m scared of being cheated on being left. Sometimes I’m just so scared. But then when I’m by myself I just feel empty. Like there is no one there in the end. My thoughts are my enemy. I hate being alone. I just want someone who is there when I need …

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2

That kind of day

August 6th, 2015by vee

Today is one of those days when it’s difficult to just exist. When thinking is your worst enemy. When you just want to disappear.
Even though it hasn’t been a particularly bad day, nothing feels right. I’m such an useless pessimist.

-V

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8

25 pounds of poppy seeds.

August 5th, 2015by johnwhogivesashit

I LOVE Poppy seeds so I bought 25 pounds with the last of my amazon store credit. It’s just orgasmic.  Everybody should try it. 😉 Question who thinks I’m really fucked up?

 

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