Chronic Pain

2

Goodnight..and what a night it has been

  September 15th, 2015 by v.c.333

I just stumbled across the site two days ago.  Decided to start posting today.  I have to say it helps.  Trying to help others feel better makes me feel better, for now.  I guess it is why I have a degree in Psychology.  That I don’t use anymore because of chronic illness. Oh well, none about that.  I am going to try to go to sleep with thoughts of sunshine and light. lol  Thank y’all.

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11

The calm before the cold

  September 15th, 2015 by lostwander

I don’t know how to even begin with how I feel. My heart has been running on overdrive and I’m seriously on E. I can be fine one afternoon or night to turn around and be in agonizing pain the next. My heart literally hurts. I never thought heart break could be so agonizing.

Ive written my goodbye letter. There’s nothing I could say to my family and friends. They wouldn’t understand. They all right now tell me to give it time, leave him alone. I just wish he would talk me down from this ledge I’m on. I’ve called, emailed, texted, Skyped. He ignores me …

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8

so i think i’m defective…..

  September 15th, 2015 by pixiekins

Hey, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m defective. Nothing I try and do changes how I feel I should just end it all. Its been this way for as long as I can remember just a constant over whelming feeling that I’m not suppose to survive this thing we call life. I’m not trying to wallow, nothing majorly traumatic has happened in my life its just my serious and honest opinion. Ending it would be so easy but I can’t seem to get that right as I said I’m defective. I thought I was ready tonight then time got away with me …

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15

There Is No Light

There Is No Light

  September 15th, 2015 by v.c.333

I have been passively suicidal all my life.  I know, some say there is no way, but I remember wanting to die  at 7.  I was not abused overly much.  My dad a little to harsh with corporal punishment.  My mom never said I was stupid, but she always gave me a look or used a tone that said I was stupid.  I guess she had no patience. idk.  I was always depressed. Borderline personality I was told once, but never stuck with therapy.  I have had more jobs and sexual encounters than I can remember.  I just can’t stick with anything.  Then get all …

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5

I’m falling apart

  September 13th, 2015 by operationmintyhippo

I’m falling apart.

My life is falling apart.

I have been so hopeful.

I’ve been trying so hard.

But I just keep receiving bad things.

Now I keep thinking bad things.

I just want to die.

I can’t do this anymore.

Life is too overwhelming.

I can’t get ahead.

I can’t catch a break.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t live like this anymore.

I want to die.

I need to.

Bye SP.

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2

Alone.

  September 13th, 2015 by prosser6

I hurt myself again today.

Just to make sure I’m still alive. Another scar on my arm, another broken frame.

The blood falls onto the sheets, the crippling fear at my gates.

Another failure in the books. No one hears my screams, my happiness is a lie.

But that’s the price of making others happy.

And the only pain in death is felt by those who are left behind.

Our empty world is cruel, hurtful and unforgiving. It will break you.

I still remember your beautiful face. Those fleeting moments we shared.

I can only hope you’re still with me, holding me close while I cry myself to sleep.

I don’t blame you. Your …

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2

Soul tired

  September 13th, 2015 by renegade247

I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember. I suppose it really started somewhere in Junior High but being a surviver of some pretty horrific abuse, who really knows. I have severe Bipolar Disorder. I am not depressed now and rarely do I cycle that way. When I do its feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness & an earthshattering urge to sleep. I don’t get sad. I feel a level of pain that is indescribable & that no one should ever have to feel. Mostly throughout my life though I have been manic. Not that manic that gives you amazing self confidence, …

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3

Fml

  September 12th, 2015 by lostwander

I’ve been at work since seven

I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship

Reminding me of how stupid I am

How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention

How I made the love of my life walk away from me

How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…

but little does he know is that he’s killing me.

I found a box of razor blades.

one cut for every time I’ve called

their not big or deep cuts but they hurt

I’m not good at pain

idk what to …

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Protected: Let Me Breathe My True Self

  September 11th, 2015 by killswitchon

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8

?

  September 9th, 2015 by sleepwalker

Hi, does anyone have any advices how to cope trough another day? I am collapsing and my chronical pains have encreased lately. Every day is harder than the previous one. I feel so tired.
If you just have any tips how to cheer up, even for a little bit, I would appreciate if you could share them.
Thank you. Hope you are feeling okay today.

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12

following my momma

  September 8th, 2015 by ForgottenKelsey

So I stumbled across this site on one of my darkened days. I haven’t slept, ate, or drank anything in two days. My world came crashing down the day I found my mother outside dead from a shot gun to the chest. At first I was in shock, never saw that coming in a million years. my momma was the type of person who loved life, cherished every moment of it. but just like that, she decided she couldn’t take the pain away. she left me, alone, in this world with nothing and no one. I cant bare this pain that I’ve been going through, …

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2

Broken

  September 8th, 2015 by melodychild

I am broken

I fear I’ve always been this way

what was it that broke me?

i doubt anyone could say

the doctors are confused

I lived a good life

supporting parents

no abuse

yet I’m broken

i often pretend I’m not

pretend I’m whole

pretend I’m happy

but I can never pretend for long

 

 

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11

I can be pretty and hate myself too

  September 8th, 2015 by notworthremembering

I just need someone to listen, to hear me, to understand me. I’m so tired of people thinking the “smart, pretty” girls have it all. I don’t. I don’t think that just because you are good looking, or smart, or popular, or even a nice person, that it should cancel out feelings of a different caliber. But society thinks it does. Because people think I have it all, I should be happy. I surely don’t have it all, just keeping up with appearances. I fake it and I fake it well.
I don’t have any one specific reason to hate myself, I just do. I …

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7

Rant… rant…

  September 7th, 2015 by Trix

I feel like if I could just feel happy sometimes, I could make it happen more often. Is there anyone else who hardly remembers being happy? I have better times, but they’re still painful. I still feel virtually powerless over my depression. I feel like I should have it figured out by now. It’s been years.

I looked in the mirror earlier, and apart from the walking stick and dressing gown, I looked like an ordinary healthy person. Some days I can function almost completely normally, and I think I must have been exaggerating – I hardly remember what the worst days were like. But it …

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12

Sarin

  September 5th, 2015 by Trix

It’s only been a couple of weeks since we stopped talking and it already feels like months. I feel so lonely now, but overall it’s easier this way. I think about the things that happened a bit less all the time, and I’m not waiting for your emails. But I still think about you every day. I miss the things you said so much. I think about everything bad that happened, and all the reasons our relationship was crumbling away, why it ended and why I shouldn’t get back in touch with you. And I remember all the things you said when we first met. …

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3

In my world, the weather is ill

  September 5th, 2015 by Rory959

“Rory, what’s the weather like in that head of yours?” 

“In my head?”

“Yes, what’s the weather like?”

“The weather is…ill.”

“And by ill, you mean?”

“I mean…the weather does not bode well for how I’d rather be feeling.”

“So what you’re saying is, you would like to be happy but thoughts prevent you from such happiness?”

“Sure, you sound like you already knew that.”

“To an extent, but I’d like to hear it from you. Tell me all about this ‘weather’.”

“It’s cloudy, like it usually is. I can’t see or feel the sun against my skin. I can’t hear the birds singing. I can’t smell anything but the inevitable rain soon to …

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7

Humbled

  September 4th, 2015 by Rory959

I get told quite often that I’m a humble man. I’m only 20, but maybe this rings true to my personality. Why though? I think it’s because of all the shit that’s been thrown at me for as far back as I can remember. All the bullying, all the death and loss, all the yelling. I always wanted it to go away, to end and never once start up again. A futile request…I know.

But I think that is what has made me humble. Because I can’t care anymore. No matter how much I try to muster up an ounce of fucks to give about

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3

Depression sucks

  September 4th, 2015 by deadgirlwalking13

I will get this out of the way now. I have been depressed for about four years now. I have always hated everything about myself, then everything started adding on top of it until my first suicide attempt. I was saved by my boyfriend’s older brother, who called the police when I told him what I had done.

Since then, I have started anti-depressants and started therapy. I still have days that I hate myself and who I am. But I am getting better. It doesn’t help that I am fat, obese, chubby, whatever you want to call it. After a debilitating injury, I gain a …

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3

Life is so Unfair

  September 2nd, 2015 by soontobeanorexic

If theirs one thing I’ve learned in my life so far, its that life is so damn unfair. You could be the greatest human being in the world but if you were born under really shitty circumstances, none of that really matters. Because you cant accomplish anything if you have nothing, or not enough, to start with. All I ever wanted is a normal life. Just a stable family. A stable mom, a stable dad, living under stable circumstances. But no, I’ve got none of that. The truth is I shoudnt have been born.

So where do I start? I’ll start with my dad. He came …

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2

Going for a change

  September 1st, 2015 by YuTasogare

Things lately have been pretty hard for me, going to my mom’s house and therefore leaving my dad’s house. My parentes breakup was something that really has affected me, before that I can’t remember a single thing in my life that isn’t perfect. I know my memory may be deceiving me but if it’s how you remember it, being real or not, for you it really happened. Memories can be so deceiving, but I know a perfect life or time doesn’t exist, life isn’t something this easy but I guess if it was there would be no fun in it, right?

Well, my father has depression …

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