I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is […]
Category:
Coping Skills
Hello to all,
I don’t pretend to know anyone’s situation or desire to end their life. What I do know is that I have lost many close friends to suicide and that during several low points in my life I have tried to kill myself at least a half a dozen times. These were not cries for help on my end, and I totally went for it with the most purpose driven determination possible. One such attempt put me in a coma for several weeks.
So I can definitely offer advice, empathy, and even sympathy to anyone who may need someone to talk to. I don’t and […]
My story is quite long, posting for the first time here, but been here for some time.
Hi. I am 19 y/o boy, straight, white, from a good house. Everyone in my family have good scientific degrees, my aunt is a scientist, my father is an engineer and mother is very important persona in cultural areas of my city’s culture. Why am I writing this? My whole life is a constant pressure from my parents and family, all of them had or have successful life, all of them completed good schools and have very respected work positions (lawyer, scientist, engineer etc.). My family was constantly repeating […]
im 21 years old and I don’t know what I feel anymore. When I was 12 I used to cut myself I was going through a tough time at home but I managed to sort out my head. Lately the past few months me and my boyfriend of two years haven’t been seeing eye to eye and me and my dad are constantly arguing. My job pays nothing and my family are always on my back to find something else but they don’t know how hard it is! I have five brothers and sisters so you can imagine the pressure of growing up and having […]
Hello, it has been 2 years since the last time I’ve been on here. Things have changed. I often find myself wondering if the same people who were here when i first started are still alive or if their lives have gotten better. I hope so. I hope that they’re enjoying life as much as they can like i am.
I want to be honest, the first time i came across this place i was around 13-14 years old and googling suicide methods. Instead of finding ways to end my life this place helped me find ways to cope and keep on living. I am 18 years […]
Ive suffered with severe depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies for a number of years. Counseling, therapy, medication, hospitals.. Nothing helped. Overtime & lifestyle changes, I believed I defeated it. For the past year or so Ive been nothing but happy, upbeat, positive & full of life. However within recent months, Ive fallen back into depression. Or was it truly never gone, but only tucked away? Idk. Suicide is a reoccurring thought again and Ive been self harming. I hate it, I hate myself. I cant go through this again, I cant. I dont want to feel like this anymore. I want to give up.
… I will tell you guys a story…
a story of a 12 years old girl, after falling her last suicide attempt, say to herself:
“i cant do this… hurt them all like this, but… i NEED to end … all this.. ” and after thinking on all her plans, she notice a problem on them. She wasnt old enough to buy the pills, or to walk by herself without being missed or noticed. She couldnt find a place for herself.
Then she said:
“I will give myself some years, to my plan some time… i need to make it work, i need to make […]
Lately I’ve been like all over the place. I am definitely not bi-polar. But it’s like one minute I’ll be feeling super up and motivated and the next I’m just totally emotionally wrecked. Also, I’ve been having weird issues like my spelling is all whacked out and my wording is all bizarre. I used to have impeccable english skills and now it’s like I’ll re-read some of the things I post here and I’m like, “Wow, did I write that?” I have a pretty good sense of humor about it. But still.
A also deactivated my facebook. No idea why I did that. […]
I haven’t been sleeping well, or eating well.
This is normal for me now, but it’s affecting my grades.
But why should I care? My future doesn’t matter to me anymore.
My mom and dad always pressure me to study, to work hard, get good grades.
Numbers define me.
90%, 80%.
But what happens the day I fail?
Will you turn on me?
Why haven’t you bothered to ask what’s wrong?
I’m drowning.
Why won’t you swim out, in the sea of pressure, lies, everything-
Why won’t you come and at least try, try to save me?
I finally managed to take a long trip out on my own.
I reported to work early morning like I always did but left in less than an hour. I have very limited cash & that puts me on the edge even more.
I can’t face anybody I know because I know resentment they would have. So I’m under pressure to end this quickly.
I hope to make it through.
Hey SP,
I am pretty active on here, I’m mean I read all of your post. But I need some help. So I am not happy, but not sad or depressed, but I do self harm for enjoyment. Not because I am trying to deal with my emotional pain and I change it to physical pain.
Why do I do this?
If any of you could conact me, please do
Kik: Cancersurvivor05
Email: bobs65325@gmail.com
At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with clinical depression, split up with my girlfriend, stopped eating for 1 week, stopped drinking water, lost 3 stone in just 2 weeks. Fluoxetine 60mg a week makes you feel empty, emotionless… No happiness, no sadness; just a zombie. You question your purpose more than ever in that state, “Why am I here…” “Why am I alive” “I’m useless” “No one cares”. I attempted suicide 3 weeks later, sometimes even the saddest people don’t have the strength to go through with it all the way. I was later admitted to see a psychiatrist weekly under the suspicion […]
It’s been months since I’ve started to come here to find comfort, just seeing people as eager to quit this world as me makes me feel better, I felt safe, and comfortable each time I opened up the website, so I’ve decided to create an account too.
My issue is not necessarily coming from a particular event but much more from a profoundly anchored existantial boredom. Each passing day is the same, even though I know there is so much I have not seen? Being human is such a weird experience. There are so many things I want to say I don’t know what to start […]
why is it when you feel low and down and ask your friends to meet you up no one meets but yet when they need you to talk to or meet up I’m always there. I’m sick of it being one way traffic all the time. I mean do I need to say please come meet me I feel like shit and I want to self destruct and you need to stop me. Seriously wtf!
Nearly 5 years of this relentless suicidal thoughts. From ages 16.5 – 21.5ish. It’s almost the 5th year anniversary from when I first became suicidal.
I thought I was 5’5.5 but I’m actually just 5’5. If I were just 5’7-5’7.5 I would have been fine honestly. Funny what just a few more inches could have done.
You have to draw the line somewhere and I drew it at 5’7.
I have read plenty of statistics of males in similar situations (not just height), and it’s pretty obvious I was destined to commit suicide.
I have written another post that has some context but basically, I lost […]
Do you think if I were to be out in public and just sit there waiting for anyone to talk to that someone would speak to me? Do you think if I ran out into the street in front of a car that the driver would stop and help me? Do you think if I was on the roof of a building alone and crying to myself that someone would find me? Do you think if I was on a bridge looking down at whatever is below that someone would notice? Do you think if I wandered aimlessly through the city in the middle of […]
I have seen you pop up in the community in the last few days and I just want to say you are not alone. Everyone on this site knows what its like to hurt. You are not alone.
You keep asking for a reason to live, but life is not that simple. There are things in my life that I love and cherish and things I give no value to. I love my GF and my laptop, I don’t love my clothes, if I lose them I can just get more clothes. I cannot replace my GF. So she gives my life meaning, I fight everyday […]
I discovered this site today, while distracting my pain away.
So much suffering I see- so many souls yearning to be free.
But in the responses of support and love, there is beauty that goes far above.
Raw passion so seldom seen, in those content to live their lives by default alone with fake friends, entertained by a screen.
Perhaps our darkest sides show us who we really are. Desperate for love, meaning, and peace, we try so damned hard.
I know none of you by name, personality or career. But I’m sure I share much of your pain, suffering and fears.
I do not think we are losers, scum or leeches; […]
After 4 days of pure hell on earth I quit taking my meds. Before you all freak out here’s what I have to say. I was only on the lowest dose of Effexor for only 4 days ( as I stated above) when I called it quits (which would be today). So it’s not like they bumped me up to the highest dosage possible and I just said “screw it I’m not going to take it.” (I know the risks of suddenly stopping when you take higher dosages of meds). I’m not taking it anymore because of a horrible side effect I got from it, nausea. […]
Junk fucked grunge and grime and became punk in time followed by this dope laced rhyme is blue lips and rolled back eyes with a rope tied tight you might find the right side of life when every body is done crying at your funeral they go back home and do the same thing as you but they don’t understand the point of view you had and why you choose to tie ropes to rocks and throw those hopes over the beam tied real tight so you could kick the chair from under your feet in the same place under that bridge you used […]