anyone here on antidepressants? anyone here know the numb feeling you get when your on the drug that isnt right for you? im on prozac right now and all i feel is the intense urge to die. i feel incredibly more suicidal on prozac now, more than i ever was before. but for some reason, my doctor doesnt think its the drug. i dont feel like myself though. i feel so out of touch with my feelings and i just feel so numb about everything. theres nothing coming in between myself and my suicidal plans, because i have no feelings. has anyone else felt this […]
Coping Skills
The beginning of 2016 was when I got myself together and had my three beautiful children full time I was working as well. I shelters many people family or not and fed the mouth of people who talked bad upon me. I’ve never been the perfect mom sister daughter but I always made sure everyone was good and taking care. October of 2016 was when I experimented with a certain drug. No the drug did not ruin my life but it changed me as a person. […]
I have hit a dead end. I don’t have the strength. I have been crying recently so much, my eyes look like as if I am having an allergic reaction. In a nutshell I have authoritarian racist judgmental parents that abuse me verbally, even at the age of 19; I finally found my soulmate but instead of being happy I have doubts in my head and he can be mean sometimes; I hate myself, I have zero confidence, I believe I am worthless and that no one cares about me. For the first time ever I cut my leg twice within the past months. I […]
It is difficult for people to understand the mind and behavior of those affected by true
Bipolar Depression Disorder. Identifying, accepting and treating it in a child, that must
be extremely challenging.
If life isn’t worth living, it definitely isn’t worth dying for either.
With all due respect, if you believe there is no point in living, make it your goal to finding
that purpose. That may be what you need to pull you through long enough to prove you
wrong… or prove you right. But at least you will have tried harder than most.
YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE FOR NEEDING HELP OR FEELING HOW YOU FEEL.
What if death were beautiful?
What if we knew what was on the other side of the wall that blocks us from seeing what reality is like after we die?
Or if there is a reality at all.
I wish I had the courage to part ways with this physical realm, and venture into what comes after this. I have had enough of this place, this hardship and this torture.
And sometimes I think differently. Sometimes I want to see what happens next while I’m still here, rather than what happens after I die. Life can be beautiful as well, but my own mind is the villain in a […]
It’s weird
There is absolutely no reason for me to be sad. I live a blessed live. I was born into a great family. I have a great girlfriend. I’m a very talented individual and excel in most categories. I don’t have any friends other than her but that’s okay because I work all hours of the week instead and I enjoy the work I do. Just anytime I get home, anytime any negative thing happens to me, I put a barrel in my mouth. I started doing it when I was about 8 years old. I would have a bad day at school and I […]
One hour till midnight
The surrounding air is cold
Two unmoving eyes peer from beneath
Frozen ripples crash and fold
Late in the frigid night
The sun will never break
My heart beats no longer
Underneath the lake
You were as morning fog
In time you disappeared
When I woke to embrace you
You were nowhere near
Blackened is the night
The sun will never break
I draw no more air
Underneath the lake
I keep calling your name out loud
Running through the snowy wood
I grow evermore fearful
I did not do all that I could
Damned be the fleeting night
The sun will never break
I shed no more tears
Underneath the lake
The end shown its wicked face
A scream was never heard
In a few hopeless […]
I’m a grown man. I have a wife and children in their mid and late teens. I have a career
and I like what I do. I won’t become a millionaire but quite frankly not looking to either.
Without unmanageable debt, in good health, not religious but spiritually at peace with
my own convictions and family values. In general terms, I’m okay.
But I’m not.
I don’t know why. It just happens and it’s been like this for me for a few
years now. I’ll be driving and suddenly a knot clogs my throat and I can’t help bursting
out crying uncontrollably for about a minute or […]
I had no idea a website like this existed, but I’m grateful to have found it. I lurked and read many things here before deciding to sign up to post. I wonder if anyone out there can relate to my story? I wonder if anyone out there is my age, or older? I wonder if anyone shares my burdens? I wonder, I wonder…. I guess we all wonder those things… Anyway, here I am at 38 years old (I feel like the oldest on here) writing to no one or everyone about my desire to die via suicide. It’s not something new. There are moments […]
I have concluded that I will not succeed, and never have I in the past. Succeed with what? Not death, life. Either way, I have tried to stop it all, but that did not work. I am willing and able to give it another shot. I will post this on here to aid in my inability to recall, I can’t recall a thing. From, before. Dissociation. I am upset. I heard the music again today and I feel like I’m at my last straw, who knew where it was coming from? Not I? It sounds so happy but I am not.
idk if anyone remembers me or not but i just wanted to post an update since my last posting.
i made an attempt about a month ago, since then i have been getting help and more therapy, as well as new medicine.
for a few weeks it was helping really well, i started showering regularly, losing weight, going to the gym, trying to get out there. i tried a fake it till you make it approach. but its not working.
i would think that after nearly a month and a half now i would start seeing improvements, but putting my past distractions behind has ended up with me […]
I Feel Like Dreaming While I’m Awake, But Awake and Comfortable While Asleep… What is This?
I re-read this comment I made while replying to The Last Snorlax on another post, and suddenly realized how much sense it made. And just like that, Sala Samobójców (aka. Suicide Room, 2011) came to mind, not sure why. Can you help me reason this? I mean the lyrics and theme don’t really match my below thought, yet somehow… it jives.
It’s like a constant period of hibernation for me sometimes… You sleep and while you do, you can actually “feel” how good it is. Then waking up. Functioning. Eating. Transportation. It all feels secondary. Like a dream of reality while the real you waits to […]
Actually, I’ve been a lurker for the longest time. On and off. Never posted before though. I don’t think I’ve ever been actually the text book definition of suicidal, but I wonder about death (and life) a lot. The last time I had been on here was about 2 years ago. So today when I came across this video, I surprised myself to suddenly find that my very first thought was to share it here on TSP.
So HELLO SPians, and here’s to life and death, our favorite oil-and-water odd couple…
Enjoy CREEP (Radiohead, 1992), performed by this raspy and wholehearted former street performer, “Mustard” (aka. Danny […]
I’ve always felt weird but that never use to stop me from helping my father or my sister with an issue. I worried about my brother constantly after my parents awkward divorce. Fast forwarding to now… I’m always fast forwarding I’ll never heal .
I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is […]
Hello to all,
I don’t pretend to know anyone’s situation or desire to end their life. What I do know is that I have lost many close friends to suicide and that during several low points in my life I have tried to kill myself at least a half a dozen times. These were not cries for help on my end, and I totally went for it with the most purpose driven determination possible. One such attempt put me in a coma for several weeks.
So I can definitely offer advice, empathy, and even sympathy to anyone who may need someone to talk to. I don’t and […]
My story is quite long, posting for the first time here, but been here for some time.
Hi. I am 19 y/o boy, straight, white, from a good house. Everyone in my family have good scientific degrees, my aunt is a scientist, my father is an engineer and mother is very important persona in cultural areas of my city’s culture. Why am I writing this? My whole life is a constant pressure from my parents and family, all of them had or have successful life, all of them completed good schools and have very respected work positions (lawyer, scientist, engineer etc.). My family was constantly repeating […]
im 21 years old and I don’t know what I feel anymore. When I was 12 I used to cut myself I was going through a tough time at home but I managed to sort out my head. Lately the past few months me and my boyfriend of two years haven’t been seeing eye to eye and me and my dad are constantly arguing. My job pays nothing and my family are always on my back to find something else but they don’t know how hard it is! I have five brothers and sisters so you can imagine the pressure of growing up and having […]
Hello, it has been 2 years since the last time I’ve been on here. Things have changed. I often find myself wondering if the same people who were here when i first started are still alive or if their lives have gotten better. I hope so. I hope that they’re enjoying life as much as they can like i am.
I want to be honest, the first time i came across this place i was around 13-14 years old and googling suicide methods. Instead of finding ways to end my life this place helped me find ways to cope and keep on living. I am 18 years […]
Ive suffered with severe depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies for a number of years. Counseling, therapy, medication, hospitals.. Nothing helped. Overtime & lifestyle changes, I believed I defeated it. For the past year or so Ive been nothing but happy, upbeat, positive & full of life. However within recent months, Ive fallen back into depression. Or was it truly never gone, but only tucked away? Idk. Suicide is a reoccurring thought again and Ive been self harming. I hate it, I hate myself. I cant go through this again, I cant. I dont want to feel like this anymore. I want to give up.