… I will tell you guys a story…
a story of a 12 years old girl, after falling her last suicide attempt, say to herself:
“i cant do this… hurt them all like this, but… i NEED to end … all this.. ” and after thinking on all her plans, she notice a problem on them. She wasnt old enough to buy the pills, or to walk by herself without being missed or noticed. She couldnt find a place for herself.
Then she said:
“I will give myself some years, to my plan some time… i need to make it work, i need to make […]
Coping Skills
Lately I’ve been like all over the place. I am definitely not bi-polar. But it’s like one minute I’ll be feeling super up and motivated and the next I’m just totally emotionally wrecked. Also, I’ve been having weird issues like my spelling is all whacked out and my wording is all bizarre. I used to have impeccable english skills and now it’s like I’ll re-read some of the things I post here and I’m like, “Wow, did I write that?” I have a pretty good sense of humor about it. But still.
A also deactivated my facebook. No idea why I did that. […]
I haven’t been sleeping well, or eating well.
This is normal for me now, but it’s affecting my grades.
But why should I care? My future doesn’t matter to me anymore.
My mom and dad always pressure me to study, to work hard, get good grades.
Numbers define me.
90%, 80%.
But what happens the day I fail?
Will you turn on me?
Why haven’t you bothered to ask what’s wrong?
I’m drowning.
Why won’t you swim out, in the sea of pressure, lies, everything-
Why won’t you come and at least try, try to save me?
I finally managed to take a long trip out on my own.
I reported to work early morning like I always did but left in less than an hour. I have very limited cash & that puts me on the edge even more.
I can’t face anybody I know because I know resentment they would have. So I’m under pressure to end this quickly.
I hope to make it through.
Hey SP,
I am pretty active on here, I’m mean I read all of your post. But I need some help. So I am not happy, but not sad or depressed, but I do self harm for enjoyment. Not because I am trying to deal with my emotional pain and I change it to physical pain.
Why do I do this?
If any of you could conact me, please do
Kik: Cancersurvivor05
Email: bobs65325@gmail.com
At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with clinical depression, split up with my girlfriend, stopped eating for 1 week, stopped drinking water, lost 3 stone in just 2 weeks. Fluoxetine 60mg a week makes you feel empty, emotionless… No happiness, no sadness; just a zombie. You question your purpose more than ever in that state, “Why am I here…” “Why am I alive” “I’m useless” “No one cares”. I attempted suicide 3 weeks later, sometimes even the saddest people don’t have the strength to go through with it all the way. I was later admitted to see a psychiatrist weekly under the suspicion […]
It’s been months since I’ve started to come here to find comfort, just seeing people as eager to quit this world as me makes me feel better, I felt safe, and comfortable each time I opened up the website, so I’ve decided to create an account too.
My issue is not necessarily coming from a particular event but much more from a profoundly anchored existantial boredom. Each passing day is the same, even though I know there is so much I have not seen? Being human is such a weird experience. There are so many things I want to say I don’t know what to start […]
why is it when you feel low and down and ask your friends to meet you up no one meets but yet when they need you to talk to or meet up I’m always there. I’m sick of it being one way traffic all the time. I mean do I need to say please come meet me I feel like shit and I want to self destruct and you need to stop me. Seriously wtf!
Nearly 5 years of this relentless suicidal thoughts. From ages 16.5 – 21.5ish. It’s almost the 5th year anniversary from when I first became suicidal.
I thought I was 5’5.5 but I’m actually just 5’5. If I were just 5’7-5’7.5 I would have been fine honestly. Funny what just a few more inches could have done.
You have to draw the line somewhere and I drew it at 5’7.
I have read plenty of statistics of males in similar situations (not just height), and it’s pretty obvious I was destined to commit suicide.
I have written another post that has some context but basically, I lost […]
Do you think if I were to be out in public and just sit there waiting for anyone to talk to that someone would speak to me? Do you think if I ran out into the street in front of a car that the driver would stop and help me? Do you think if I was on the roof of a building alone and crying to myself that someone would find me? Do you think if I was on a bridge looking down at whatever is below that someone would notice? Do you think if I wandered aimlessly through the city in the middle of […]
I have seen you pop up in the community in the last few days and I just want to say you are not alone. Everyone on this site knows what its like to hurt. You are not alone.
You keep asking for a reason to live, but life is not that simple. There are things in my life that I love and cherish and things I give no value to. I love my GF and my laptop, I don’t love my clothes, if I lose them I can just get more clothes. I cannot replace my GF. So she gives my life meaning, I fight everyday […]
I discovered this site today, while distracting my pain away.
So much suffering I see- so many souls yearning to be free.
But in the responses of support and love, there is beauty that goes far above.
Raw passion so seldom seen, in those content to live their lives by default alone with fake friends, entertained by a screen.
Perhaps our darkest sides show us who we really are. Desperate for love, meaning, and peace, we try so damned hard.
I know none of you by name, personality or career. But I’m sure I share much of your pain, suffering and fears.
I do not think we are losers, scum or leeches; […]
After 4 days of pure hell on earth I quit taking my meds. Before you all freak out here’s what I have to say. I was only on the lowest dose of Effexor for only 4 days ( as I stated above) when I called it quits (which would be today). So it’s not like they bumped me up to the highest dosage possible and I just said “screw it I’m not going to take it.” (I know the risks of suddenly stopping when you take higher dosages of meds). I’m not taking it anymore because of a horrible side effect I got from it, nausea. […]
Junk fucked grunge and grime and became punk in time followed by this dope laced rhyme is blue lips and rolled back eyes with a rope tied tight you might find the right side of life when every body is done crying at your funeral they go back home and do the same thing as you but they don’t understand the point of view you had and why you choose to tie ropes to rocks and throw those hopes over the beam tied real tight so you could kick the chair from under your feet in the same place under that bridge you used […]
Since I was 13 I knew that one day I would commit suicide. Ive always been able to go one more day and one more day turned into 7 years. And now things are getting so hard that I dont think I can go one more day. I feel like I cannot keep trying. I keep failing, the depression is taking control of me and I just have no reason to be happy anymore. Is life even worth it anymore.
Is buy a gun. As an insurance policy. I hate being alive. There are times where I forget that fact. Where I’m capable of distracting myself from the obvious reality of my irrelevance and idiocy. But then it hits me like a mountain falling on me. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t have to use the gun. I can hold off. But having it in my back pocket the ability to leave when ever. It’s illogical to think that i’ll ever have anything other than mediocrity as the best I’m capable of. I’ll always have a million anxiety triggers and depression triggers. I’ll always fuck […]
Any tips on how to make myself throw up after a meal?
i am not going to start cutting again.
i am going to tell myself this until i do start cutting, until i just can’t help it anymore, until it’s time to tell myself again that that was the last one, honest.
this is how i deal with things: deny. deny. deny.
keep walking. it doesn’t matter how. it doesn’t matter for how long. it doesn’t matter why, or how long it takes to fall again. it doesn’t even matter if walking is possible, if i should be doing it.
i fall, and i get up.
there is nothing else. there are no apologies. there are no bandages, no balms, no […]
It’s been about a year or so since I was here but something tells me it’s time to come back for a bit. I want to be here to be a lifeline for somebody. I used to receive emails from around the world and hear amazing stories. I had to step away for a while to catch my own breath but I like to hear from you guys.
I don’t consider myself suicidal at the moment although I have cut before and sometimes think about the silence of death as peaceful. I probably stand out a little in that I see death I’d say at least […]
Hey guys, it’s Nico again.
Heheh it’s nice to see people being nice to me here, most people I’ve met on the internet are jerks haha. Oh, and thanks to the people who said happy birthday hehe~ As you all said I’ll try to keep my upbeatness.
As of right now life’s been kinda alright. Mm, well yesterday wasn’t so much. Mainly because of school stuff. Especially health and safety.. We had to do a group project this week where we had to make a skit about saying no to someone telling you to do drugs, drink, or cut class.. I got placed with a group that […]