If you read the comments on Alan’s post last night, you saw he requested a picture of a china doll and a honey badger eating sushi on a surfboard in the desert.
Actually it was a request for Hazy, but I decided I would try it too.
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A psychiatrist was pacing side to side in the room while giving a conference on dealing with stress.
When she suddenly raised a glass of water, everyone thought she was going to ask if the glass was half full or half empty.
Nevertheless, she asked instead with a smile:
“How heavy is this glass of water?”
The answers varied. From 100 grams to 500 grams.
She replied:
“Its absolute weight in fact is of no importance whatsoever.”
“It simply depends on how long I hold the glass for. If I hold it for a minute, there is not a problem at all.
If I hold it for one hour, my arm […]
Life is shitty. That’s how it is, and it won’t change. I’ve read many many posts on this website, and I can empathize deeply with many posters. Family problems, work problems, relationship problems, it’s all the fucking same. These problems make us feel SO shitty that some of us would rather commit suicide than suffer through another second of it.
Is this fair? Fair to feel shitty for most part of our days? Sleep is the only escape. I don’t feel shitty while in slumber, but it gets to me as soon as I wake. Sleep is great, however it is still a temporary fix and […]
this world is not for everyone
It’s true
In fact, everything in this world is not meant for everyone
Some people is not meant to be in this cruel cruel world and most of the time, that someone knows it. They know that this is not where they belong. they know that there are other places for them. The place they can be themselves without getting reject or being judge.
There are two decisions for these people:
To keep going, keep fighting to stay in this world. To continue.
To go seek for other places where they are truly belong.
At the end of the day, it’s that person’s choice to choose.
are you […]
Here’s my latest project, finished last Sunday.
It’s supposed to reflect the upheaval and turbulence of needing answers to certain things, but not having those answers– and coming to terms with the possibility of never having them.
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http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Not-Knowing-2.mp3
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Title: Not Knowing
Key: C-minor
Meter: 7/8
Instrumentation: Violin, Viola, Cello, Bass, Piano
For those of you who can read a score, here’s a screencap of the last five measures:
This is my first time reaching out here. Originally I signed up to reach out at a very low point but instead found myself trying to help others. The struggle for me is so real. I put “the smile” on to often. I find myself thinking about dying more frequently.. Driving home tonight I just cried so much that it was to the point where I couldn’t see. The thought came to me….”would it really matter if I wrecked and ended it?” I struggled to find a reason why not to. By the time my mind cleared I was in my drive way. Just have […]
Senior Projects are ruining me. I could be outside but no I’m stuck inside finishing it because I lost my schedule and forgot the day I was supposed to go. I really hope my teacher gives me more time to do it because the deadline is to close and I’m so far from finishing.
But aside from my rambling I managed to finish the pin I made for U.S History. Inked, colored, ready to go. Sorry if I irritate you with uploading […]
I literally did nothing over this weekend, no one contacted me asking how I was or nothin.. I hang out with the same person all the time and in all honesty I get sick of it. All we do is nothing when we hang out.. I need to find a new crowd to be in..
Even though I didn’t do anything here is a birb (hawk) I drew for my U.S History class. Enjoy.
Lately I have felt like a bit of a hypocrite, considering death for myself while still feeling anxiety about friends who are considering the exact same thing. I want them to stay, yet I want the “get out” option for myself. Not quite sure how to process that.
I find myself writing two opposite types of music lately:
(1) Batshit-crazy chaos, and
(2) Peaceful calmness.
Am I somehow capturing the aforementioned duplicity in musical form?
Since I’ve finished a few of my projects lately, I started a new piece today. After working out the first few measures, it looks like this is going to be another chaotic angsty […]
For almost 2 years, I’ve felt this way because I live beside toxic neighbours and my uncle doesn’t listen to me to be careful of being taken advantage of. How? Simple. They threaten to sue us, get us fine and arrested for “Distribing The Peace” from the back up alarm installed on my uncle’s car. People sue for almost anything now a days no matter how ridiculous it may seem. There are various type of prices for back up alarm sold online and in-stores. Intially, […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Singularity.mp3
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Next new piece, which is outside my comfort zone for a few reasons:
1. I’m not comfortable writing for guitar, so I tend to avoid it. But here it is.
2. Lately I’ve tended to avoid wide-open pieces with simple instrumentation. But this has just three instruments: Acoustic guitar, Electric bass, and Piano.
3. It has almost a country/western feel, which is definitely NOT my favorite genre.
4. It’s peaceful and calm, which is an odd thing for me to write these days. Lately I’d gravitated more toward things which reflected angst and panic.
It’s called “Singularity”.
System of a Down
Aerials
Life is a waterfall,
We’re one in the river,
And one again after the fall.
Swimming through the void
We hear the word,
We lose ourselves,
But we find it all?
Cause we are the ones that wanna play,
Always wanna go,
But you never wanna stay,
And we are the ones that wanna choose,
Always wanna play,
But you never wanna lose.
Aerials, in the sky,
When you lose small mind,
You free your life.
Life is a waterfall,
We drink from the river,
Then we turn around and put up our walls.
Swimming through the void
We hear the word,
We lose ourselves,
But we find […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
My bed is warm and safe. I like to be in bed because then I can hide away from the world.
I can dream and do all the things in my dreams that are virtually impossible (at least at the moment) in real life.
My cat sleeps on me and comforts me. I can play my 3DS and get lost in computer game worlds.
Sometimes, I get anxious and scared if I’m not in bed. I feel guilty because I feel as if I am wasting my life. But I don’t get any pleasure in going out where I live. It reminds me too much of the horrible […]
My depression use to consume me, lately I just get days where ill hide away hopeless and miserable, other days ill feel ok and get on with life depending on how im distracting myself. Sometimes I question if im depressed or mentally ill, I do things people dont ordinarily do and hear voices. Im trying to be more positive for my boyfriend as he’s put up with so much for no reason other than he loves me, I want to change and be what he deserves, but its so hard trying to be happy and stay positive when things are happening to you that you […]
Words cannot describe how much appreciation I feel for the feedback on my last post. It almost left me in a pool of tears. A very big thank you to those who left those comments! I really doubted myself a lot with my artistic skills almost to the point were I stopped. Drawing is all the talent I have left and I almost lost it because I mope around wondering if I’ll get anywhere in my life. Seeing your comments inspired me to peruse my talent, to get me up off my lazy a**. You have my thanks and gratitude. I wish I could have […]
Dear all,
I got the first email which someone had asked for help. Someone cannot take Depression anymore and wished to erase herself from existence. Due to privacy, I will not disclose the name. I wasn’t sure of what happened but I have replied the email, hoping to hear from the person soon. I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist; I do not have the expertise in medication or knowledge of how to deal with Negativeness and by that, Depression or any of the problems that many are facing. I can only be a reader and/or a listener of your problems and challenges faced, be it created […]
Well hey lovely people of suicide Project. I haven’t been here in awhile if you have noticed if any of you know who I am.
So awhile back I made a post about I Dye my hair. Its my self distraction from self harm. People seemed to like that so I think I’m going to make a journal hopefully everyday or maybe a cpl days or once a week in not sure yet. But I’m here for all of you. I wont judge because everyone needs a friend and you shouldn’t feel alone. So if I make a journal for you guys it’ll be self distractions […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
A vent drawing inspired by the man that hurt me! Thank you for doing that to me boy! :/
Not finished with it yet, still working out details. Might post the finished product later.
(It’s a tiger and a red panda if it’s to hard to tell, tiger obviously represents the one I once loved and the red panda at the bottom represents me.)