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Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Hello again

by i_cant_think_of_a_name
written by i_cant_think_of_a_name

I’m back. It’s been awhile, though little has gotten better.. School is stressing me out, one of my close friends has gone distant, and the cherry on top: my stepdad (the only father I’ve ever had in my life) has Kidney cancer… I tried to tell my friend about it, and she flat out says “I don’t want any bad news.” And I’m dumbfounded, so I apologize.. For trying to tell her something important, what’s wrong with me? And how could a friend be so ignorant to another friend’s problem… Especially one as bad as a family member having cancer. Heh.. It’s easier to tell […]

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I guess its over

by wannabedeadcat05
written by wannabedeadcat05

These past few months have been hell, i moved out from my dads place after having my baby to live with my mom hoping things would be better with her and they were for a year. Until she and i got into a fight, over my boyfriend. She was right, i was a prick but things were never the same after that, we fought a lot. Up until the point where she started demanding rent, got a job but i wasnt able to.keep it because of my anxiety amd depression. My mistake. Fast foward, she called the police on me after my sister (18), and […]

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Final Post: punk in drublic, and suicide as a pre and postmortem message

by Disposable Human
written by Disposable Human

Through separation and divorce I have lost everything other than court appointed contact with my family: the ex-wife/best friend, my son, my 2 dogs. It feels like the work I’ve done to try and make this all come together as a family was for nothing. And it was.

Two weeks ago, I shot .375 grams of pure crystal meth into my arm and gave myself tachycardia but died slowly enough for the doctors to save me.

Monday, my legal benzo analogues came in the mail. They’re like xanax on steroids. I took a couple handfuls (that stopped my heart) and then woke up today with no memory […]

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Girl

by flyingnorth
written by flyingnorth

A few years ago I discovered that I liked girls as much as I liked boys. It was kind of earth shattering at the time because I was part of a family that was completely against the “gay agenda” as they called it. I know it’s the same old song and dance. My family doesn’t  understand me- blah blah blah. I was really worried about telling any of them. I figured I would tell them if I actually had a girlfriend or something. No big deal.

I did meet someone that very year. The first girl I was really interested in. She ended up making some […]

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Going for a change

by YuTasogare
written by YuTasogare

Things lately have been pretty hard for me, going to my mom’s house and therefore leaving my dad’s house. My parentes breakup was something that really has affected me, before that I can’t remember a single thing in my life that isn’t perfect. I know my memory may be deceiving me but if it’s how you remember it, being real or not, for you it really happened. Memories can be so deceiving, but I know a perfect life or time doesn’t exist, life isn’t something this easy but I guess if it was there would be no fun in it, right?

Well, my father has depression […]

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Toxic

by LittleMissPurrfection
written by LittleMissPurrfection

Words that have poisoned me

Saying I shouldn’t be

Shouldn’t be like this

There’s no reason to

Reason to do what I do

It’s been the same for years,

Telling what I don’t want to hear

Telling me to get through on my own

So unknowing, you were ignorantly bliss

While I fell into an abyss,

You, who still filled me with lies, such ugly lies

Look me in the eyes,

There were toxic things you said.

This was your influence

I never thought this way,

Not until […]

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It’s Over

by 1dimple
written by 1dimple

Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.

He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, […]

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Rough Times

by operationmintyhippo
written by operationmintyhippo

A lot of you probably don’t care, but I just need it in writing, or something to come back and read later to know it’s real.

My uncle died last night.

You’re probably thinking “Oh, it’s just her uncle. Not like it’s an immediate family member.” But my entire family is close. I’m talking my mom’s side is friends with my dad’s side and vice versa. And everything that could possibly be turned into a family event is. So whenever anyone dies, both sides come together and mourn and we all fall apart inside.

I digress.

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I Wish I Didn’t Exist

by GloomyCakey
written by GloomyCakey

I’m not exactly sure what to write here. I don’t want to beg for attention or anything, I just want to get my feelings off my chest but I don’t want anyone who knows me to know how I feel. I’m afraid they would panic.

So for several reasons I don’t care to speak about, I’ve recently decided that I wish I could disappear. Or at least that’s what I thought. But as I started to think, I realized if I killed myself, or even if I just up and disappeared, I could possibly hurt some people around me. That’s not something I want at all.

Instead, […]

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Let’s talk about a little thing called medication

by queenofdarkness
written by queenofdarkness

Every day when you wake up it’s three pills, choked down with juice. (Always juice, because having pills with water tastes like suicide.)

The one that’s supposed to keep you from killing yourself.

The one that’s supposed to make you talk and smile and act like you don’t have crippling anxiety.

The one that’s supposed to take away your mood. How dare you have emotions. How fucking dare you.

It’s bullshit.

There’s no way to measure whether it “works” or not. If you ask my parents, it doesn’t, because I’m still not normal. Like, so what if she feels happier and doesn’t generally want to throw herself off a roof? She […]

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everything that’s happened and everything that’s happening

by lostinthemotions
written by lostinthemotions

So where do I even begin? Well, I signed up for this website so I guess I should explain why. Currently, I am not thinking about suicide, but I have in the past and fairly recently thought about how I would do it, why I would do it, who I would hurt and so forth, and then I realized that if anything happened to me, no one would know why, so here I am. Telling all of you what I can’t tell anyone in person.

I’m 15, I turn 16 in three weeks. I have a job that’s pretty mediocre, get good grades, I’m what you […]

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Which way?

by YuTasogare
written by YuTasogare

It’s the second time I write here today. I really thought things would take a turn for the better but It wasn’t the case. It makes some pretty good time since I got this bad. I just wanna cry but I simply can’t, maybe it’s because I don’the have the option to fail this time. Like my life would crumble if I did that, there was also one other thing that bothers me. My family have seen the pages I’ve been accessing and then they found out about suicideproject.org. No need to say they are very worried about me but even so they […]

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Schools Back

by violinplayer22
written by violinplayer22

Ah, the beginning of the school year. Makes you want to tear up a little, doesn’t it? I mean, anxiety attacks are no stranger to me, so tearing up comes naturally. But hearing that first bell in the hallowed halls of Woodford High School made me cringe in my Vera Bradley backpack. Don’t get me wrong, getting to see the little freshman cower in fear was SSOO much fun, but seeing all the couples and relationships makes me want to smack my head on a wall. It’s fine though. The first day isn’t always as horrible as people make it out to be. I mean, […]

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Save me from myself

by YuTasogare
written by YuTasogare

Well, it’s the third day since I’ve left my dad’s house, yesterday I was very confident that everything would work just fine, now I’m not that sure… I’ve been feeling simply terrible since that, I simply don’t know what to do, which way to follow, I just want want someone to speak with, but who would want to be with me at a time like that? Even I don’t want to, I wish I could simply feel better but I can’t I don’t know for sure what’s wrong, but I’m sure something is just off… so many months and years having my feelings only for […]

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It’s been awhile.

by breakeven
written by breakeven

Wow. I haven’t been writing for 3 months and now I’m back again. It’s funny cause I thought I was doing so well. Turns out, I’ve been lying to myself. Yes, people have it worse than me but does that mean my problems don’t matter? I’m about to start college soon after graduating early one whole year. The expectation of everyone is really weighing down on me. The stress of handling everything, every action that I take from now on is being carefully watched and judged. I’m trying to handle so many things in my life and I think I’m getting overwhelmed again. I know […]

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Sadness on the way to…

by YuTasogare
written by YuTasogare

Well, I’m here and I will keep moving forward, yesterday I left my dad’s house, I plan on living with my mom from now on, don’t know for how long and don’t wanna think about it right now, my dad is kinda down, he suffers from “depression” (I think it’s like that, don’t know how to say it in English) so yeah… my departure made him feel very bad, and I keep blamming me for this, being responsible for someone’s sadness like that, that’s very heavy! I feel so… sellfish. I always cared for the others first but they can’t see or feel it and […]

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I messed up..

by GerbzBaby
written by GerbzBaby

Yesterday wasn’t the best day, and neither was today. I might have lost 3 friends over my mistake that I made.

I was supposed to go to an amusement park with my friend today but I refused to go out of fear. I feared being left out again. She ignored me at dinner last night to talk to my sisters (or at least it felt that way). I just boiled over and got angry, ran upstairs and cried. I didn’t say anything to her when she came up to get me. Just put a smile on my face and continued on.

When today came around I told […]

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What am I missing?

by tjsII1988
written by tjsII1988

Things are not good for me. More or less I am nothing more then a dissapointment in everything I do. I am a failure as a boyfriend,father,friend,son,grandson…you name it. I am falling apart in every way imaginable. I hate to look at myself,and no matter what I do I can’t seem to pull out of this. I tried to end it once,but was “saved” by 2 friends….not this time. I have a short period of time before my 2 year suicide clause is up on my life insurance,I have a storage unit large enough to fit my truck in it rented so no one can […]

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Tell Me How I Am

by operationmintyhippo
written by operationmintyhippo

I’m sorry I’m about to be all wordy, jumbled, and redundant and you probably don’t care about my life story, but I need an outlet.

I grew up with an ideal life. Friends–two best friends who all did everything together. Family–mom, dad, brother, sister. We always did all the family-esque things together.

We must have looked great from the outside.

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Trust.

by DellBenq
written by DellBenq

About two months ago my girlfriend broke up with me, we ended on good terms well in her eyes.. I was destroyed, I thought she was cheating on me because 4 days before she did it she went to hang out with her friend who had a huge crush on her, of what I wasn’t to happy, mainly because it was only going to be them.. She then never said good night or anything she would just disappear, anyway, one of the last things she promised me is that she would never get back with my best friend because he treated her like shit, when […]

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