The effects of suicide on family and friends.
Have you ever been afraid of yourself? Knowing that everyday you will just hurt someone else. My life doesn’t just pain me, it hurts others too. I won’t back out this time. I have just lost all sanity. I am fully gone. Nothing is holding me back. Goodbye world, because the hundredth “nobody likes you, go kill yourself” was the last. Now you will say, “what a loser, nobody liked him”.
It’s currently 12:54 AM and in less than an hour, my brother (basically the main reason why I’m alive today) will be leaving the country to live in Scotland. It’s a safe guess to say that today will be one of the hardest and saddest, if not the most, days I’ve lived. I don’t think I’m really prepared for this, at least emotionally.
I mean, he basically raised me. I really don’t know how this is going to affect my mental state, but as long as he’s happy, so am I.
After all, this will not be goodbye,
but until next time.
-V
I really fucked things up with my friends and they won’t ever forgive me. I feel extremely bad with myself for what I did and feel I can no longer live with myself knowing I did the things I did. I don’t have a good relationship with my family and there’s no one left in my life so I contemplate suicide because no one would be affected by it anyways since not even my family cares.
Since my father has heart problems and my grandma had trouble sleeping I’ll take all their pills and swallow them all at once so I can finally put an end […]
I have come to the conclusion that the three people I thought I’d have forever in my life have decided to no longer have me in theirs. . . No they haven’t officially told me that, but how they act and what they do says it all to me. I’ve asked countless times to hangout with them. They say they’re busy then next thing I know they’re hanging out and posting it all over snapchat without me. I wonder if they even thought about asking me. I message them and they just open them. And I mean it’s other stuff too.
It only hurts me the […]
I cant stop crying right now….. I used to be depressed and i have been clean for the past few months.. Thinking thay the summer would make everything better. It didn’t i started cutting again and had to hide my scars with my ankle bracelet and my mom has seen them and she yelled at me but stopped caring. Nowone cares anymore and im always spending my time alone…… My mom is alwyas telling me that im screwing up all of the time and she always gets mad at everything i do. And i dont think i can wait till senior year to be free […]
Last weekend I decided on today to be the best day to kill myself. It made a lot more sense than 7/2/15 because I didn’t see a connection in those numbers. But I like, and do like, how 11/30/77 to 7/30/15 looks and sounds. I’m a bit of a numbers freak, so dying on the same day of the month is appealing, along with the connection between my birth year (two 7’s) and it being the 7th month. Close enough. Like I said, I’m a numbers freak and I pay crazy attention to numbers. But what stopped me???? ….
I was (and do still) feel so […]
Today is my mum’s birthday and I feel so let out of everything.
I mean, I know she doesn’t like me that much but is it really necessary to completely ignore me?
I just want something. Something to show me that I’m still here, because sometimes I’m so alone, i forget other people exist.
Just random, everyday thoughts.
-V
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m in pain, pain of love and pain of everything, i want to die as soon as possible, my life is like so fuckin hell, i don’t know why is my family treating me so bad like that, i feel like I’m a devil or someone that should be killed, i think everyone hate me so much, please someone tell me anything, how to die, everyday i’m crying, everynight, i’m so tired right now, and i want to die to have the best rest without anyone… Please someone help me, i’m in hell. I fucking wish if i have a great life, maybe to be […]
I know on my previous post, I talk about how things started to work out for me. However, as expected, my world has crumbled down again, and I’ve found the trigger. My own father. He doesn’t love me, he is not proud of me, all he does is blaming me and being sarcastic as hell to me. He gives this overwhelming affection to my sister, he talks to her, he shows how much he loves her in front of me.
These past couple days, I felt perfectly fine. Today, I feel like shit. I started crying with no reason again, I have this urge to hurt […]
… and it’s true.
I was just told this by my GF after she ran through the checklist of all my failures and shortcomings. As if I was completely unaware and aloof of how utterly fucked I am and have been for the last few years. Now, I’m sure she means to somehow motivate me or in some other way try to light a fire under my ass to somehow ferret my way to at least a treading water type of existence in some clever way – she’d be ecstatic if I could manage that.
What’s funny (ironic/weird type funny … and in a twisted way funny ha […]
I consider myself to be an Empath. You might be one too. It’s been extremely difficult to live and function in a society where people don’t really have empathy so it’s hard for them to really feel what somebody else is going through. And that’s why so many people are ruthless and cutthroat, you know. Being and Empath is like having a finely tuned ‘Bullshit’ Lie-Detector. It’s really strange to have the ability to really feel what other people are feeling because I don’t know how to handle and cope with it. Now, staying away from strangers is easy enough; I just don’t go outside […]
I am a 16 year old girl (will be 17 in 2 days), and well, what can i say, i am depressed and have suicidal tendencies.
Though i probably have everything, perfect scores, bunch of friends, money, and complete family, i feel this emptiness inside me. Every single day i know and i feel that something is eating away my hope inside me. I dont have the spark in my eyes anymore. I’d cry my eyes out until i fall asleep, i overthink it kills me, and i am highly emotional. I get angry and sad in a matter of seconds.
Perfect scores doesnt mean im happy. […]
I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to live. If something naturally happened to end my life I would be relieved. I feel like my entire life has been one disappointment after the other. I feel like people shouldn’t have kids if they can’t look after them. I feel like my parents shouldn’t have had me, it was irresponsible. I feel like as a general rule, people are selfish, and through that I have been abused and irreparably damaged. I used to be so excited about things and life and was such a happy kid, but I’ve been through too much now. There is millions […]
I have a lot of time on my hands almost everyday and it gives my mind a lot of room to think. What I ask myself most often is if I honestly matter? Do I even have a pirpose in life? And if so, why does it seem like my purpoae is to only cause people pain. I don’t matter to anyone, they all just act like they care so they can get something out of it. I am sick of this. What do I do besides leave everything behind?
I feel like I’m a burden to everyone in my life. It seems like I can’t do anything right. I’m a fuck up. No matter how hard I try, I fuck things up. I have a terrible relationship with my family, and they’ve told me multiple times that they don’t love me or even like me. I try, i try to be a better person. But my family still calls me selfish, spolied, bitchy . I feel constant guilt, I’ve felt like this since I was a little girl . I can’t talk to anyone about it because i feel as if I’m being annoying, […]
Im so scared I dont know what to do……I’ve been in chronic pain now for 10yrs after a car accident made me have to have spine surgery. My life was great until that point……I was in college getting ready to graduate next quarter and I was working for a doctors office doing the work that I was in college for.
After the surgey I was unable to continue with class/work since it was excruciating to sit or stand for long periods of time and I would get horrible spasms and nerve damage caused a lightning type pain to run from my buttox down to my foot.
Well […]
Hey.
I know that everyone is here for a reason and whatever cliche shit we’ve been listening to forever.
Right now, my life has no purpose. I don’t even know why I opened this site. But whatever. It has always been hard for me to find people to talk to. My parents are kinda supportive, but if you know anything about being Indian it is that your parents exercise complete and absolute control on your life. My parents don’t let me outside the house, except for school. Not even tutions, parties, nothing. Indians are conservative and rather, well, religious. But on days like these I find myself […]
So here I am, an eighteen year old boy on a website designed for sad teenage girls and I’m expected to talk about the “perks” of being me? Okay fine if it will keep her happy and I’ll be able to come out more often then FINE I’ll write! Hm some perks? Well, I had a milkshake last night so that’s cool or whatever. Man I don’t think I can sit here and pretend there are perks to being myself. I can’t even be myself! I’m 18 and a boy and I’m trapped in a woman’s body, let me tell you going to the bathroom […]
First time posting I’m really just looking for places I can get advice without being judged. Yes I am new so just bare with me as I try to explain my story.
It all all started when I was little, I was told I had really bad behaviour problems this was around the age of 5-12 years old. My parents have told me the only way they could make me behave was to slap me, or to punch me just any means they thought was appropriate, I had therapy when I was really young because I used to hit myself, I never mixed with other kids […]
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