The effects of suicide on family and friends.
I never thought I would actually get to this point. School’s shit. Can’t even hug my girlfriend without getting into trouble. Barely any friends to talk to. My dad’s pissed cause we started arguing about me bringing my girlfriend home. Apparently, I didn’t get a yes to bring her home. I just wanna die. I’m basically a slave in my own home, can’t do anything anywhere else. I feel pointless. After the next band concert, I’m ending it.
As we contemplate suicide or even go about living our day, all kinds of thoughts and “voices” clutter our minds. It is important to ask yourself… Whose Voice are you listening to?                                                                                                     Watch “Story 2013” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbKbMIjLvU
Seriously, where are you at? Reply! Let me know people can actually care about each other unconditionally.
In other words, what stops you all from making the final act? Is it fear? Your faith? Lack of “resources”? Lack of energy?
Have you ever felt like you were surrounded by darkness? A darkness so deep and pain so real that you just want it all to end? Have you ever felt like the world would be a better place without you in it? How about that you are so worthless that if people really knew who you were they would hate you as much as you hate yourself? Do you have a plan to end your life? Have you given up all hope? I have! Depression is real and the pain is intense, but there is hope —  Watch “Story 2013” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbKbMIjLvU
“Am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter? They say I’m better off now than I ever was..”
Dear Mom and Daddy,
You won’t ever read this because if I wanted you to then I would be writing this on paper and mailing to you to get a week from now. I’ve played over in my head a million times how to say all of this to you and I still don’t know how, but let me ask you something..
Did it ever occur to you that I’m not better!? That I’m not okay, in reality I’m worse than ever, and I’ve just gotten a […]
When I first started dating I was excited thinking I could my “True love” yet every time I find a woman that I actually care for she disappears from my life. Every time that happens a crack goes on your heart the more your heart cracks the closer it comes to braking permanently. I’ve had so many brake ups in my life a good amount of them I really didn’t care like they only lasted a week and sexual things happened everyday with those girls but the women I cared for is a different story. When I care for a women and think I “found […]
you try to act normal
you don’t want them to know
too ashamed to tell them
you don’t let it show
they think your happy
they think your fine
you try to keep it up
emotions walking the line
you don’t want anyone to ask
yet you wish someone would
you wish someone cared
you wish they could
she doesn’t like you
you don’t blame her though
you don’t like yourself
she still doesn’t know
when they find out
(cant keep it up much longer)
you give in to guilt and shame
and wish you were stronger
I have no bonds with people. I’ve been abused and alienated. Deep depression, constant migraines, always tired, can’t concentrate or think straight, memory issues. I’m chronically stressed. People are just rude and hateful and judgmental and prejudice. I’m in a town with very little opportunity literally just a dozen different places to work, with no transportation. I’m living in poverty which means basic needs go unmet. It sucks everyday is a struggle. Nobody to help me out, don’t qualify for state benefits.
I was just wondering. Everytime I tell my closest friend (but this is my view of our friendship) what I am feeling, for example last night, I told him that I felt like complete shit and everyone would go along their merry ways if I die without even caring, he just says, ” If that’s what you think then okay.” And the subject stops there. He quickly jumps to another topic and I assume that he doesn’t really wanna hear what I have to say. I try not to get hurt by his words but I feel like it’s just one bigger proof that even […]
Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.
yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]
I’m 19 years old and ever since I lost my job in September I feel worthless. When I was younger me and my dad never really got on because he started working offshore and he wasn’t really there for me and I took bad to it. But he got me a job beside him and everything was great I was finally spending a lot more time with him and I got a lot more closer to him then I lost my job due to me getting bullied in the work place. And since then I feel worthless. My self confidence has went right down hill […]
I may not be suicidal but i do get depressed because of my lack of motivation and my fear of the future and this is what i like to listen to. So i made a playlist with some music that is nice to the ear and yes i know its hip hop but these songs are not the normal type you see its deep and all about the soft beats and the lyrics. Its poetry with beats. I feel like theres alot of rock and i wanted to put in something diffrent. Do me a favor and atleast listen to The Book  Of soul. Thanks people […]
*Holds up a Lego movie cup with coke a cola in it* Here’s to my family..the people who have just confirmed that they don’t care if I’m left alone at a house for hours on end while they are out working for no reason or having fun while I’m stuck at home wondering why they are gone so long when they said they only were going to Home Depot..but hey things just “happen” am I right? Yeah whatever…So cheers to them for making me feel even more unloved and not cared bout..My mama even told me they only thought bout me once to see if […]
I have so many regrets in my life after I graduated college. I have many friends but I feel depressed at times. I am the youngest in the family and my parents are so over protective to me. I should be home before 8PM. Rules are rules. No boyfriend after college. No drinking of alcohol. No smoking. They are over manipulating me. I am not a robot. Especially my sisters, they always control my life. I hate living anymore. I had a boyfriend. I met him at my work, he’s my co-employee. We’ve been together 7 months from now. He’ s my first boyfriend, First […]
8th grade was when it all started. It started in the middle of that year. My dad & I were fighting. He told me that the reason he tried to kill himself was because of me. At that time I started to believe it was me cause of the way I treated him. His mental health issues at that time were up & down. In previous years he was overdosing with his prescription meds which led to him getting into a car accident with me & he also fell down the stairs. Some other things happened like he ran into a tree with […]
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
My name is Justin Jay Smith. My date of birth is January 26, 1988. My SSN is ***-**-****(included in paper copy only that was left on site). I died from self-inflicted wounds the morning of February 26, 2014, at the address of 3099 Kirklevington Drive Apartment 152 in Lexington, KY 40517. This is my “suicide note” and “letter of intent” if you will.
I will start by saying I loved you Amanda. I truly am sorry for how things turned out. I did try. I messed something’s up, I know. We all make mistakes and mishandle things or ourselves from time to time. I […]
So there’s this girl, she always felt lost and alone in this big world. It seemed like nothing would ever go right. She doesn’t know who her dad is and her mom only cared about the next guy in line to be with. She seen her mom go thru hell and back. She helped her mom thru all her drug addictions but it seemed like no matter what she did she could never get her mother’s love. When she was young her mom dropped her off at her ex husbands house cause she couldn’t take care of her and she thought it was the best […]
Well, turns out that I never got around to killing myself. There always seems to be something that stops me for a good day or two before the thoughts seem to flood back.
In the mean time, I feel like a horrible person because whenever I am honest to a mutual friend they turn their offense around on me and make me feel bad about myself. I know this isn’t fair, I know that I shouldn’t bother or care yet all I feel inside is that I am a bad person who makes other people angry, a problem – it’s one of my reasons to die.
Please log in to report posts