For general topics related to the site.
Are you still here?
I keep trying and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. I give him everything he wants, do whatever he tells me but that’s not enough. I just want to be done…with everything.
Many people here frequently talk about ending it all and even make plans but never actually do it. Some say they stay for their family, some their faith, and some are just curious about what the next day will bring. So what’s your reason for sticking around?
Out of all my friends I am one of the most suicidal unfortunately.
When I admitted to The clinic, my closest friend had already been in here for a month prior due to an Eating Disorder.
When I’d get severely down she’d always say “we can do it together” I always said “no. I refuse to drag you down with me” and I meant it. Jess doesn’t actually want to die, she has an ED that wrecks her life but I can see hope for her. She’d been well once, she can be well again.
And then I met Britt. Both these girls were so much […]
Is it possible that suicidal depression is a biological response to over-population?
Maybe I’m confused because I’m on this site using a phone, but in my profile it requires me to provide an email address. Is that shown publically? If so, is there a way to hide it? Don’t exactly want to belong to this type of website if it’s not anonymous, lol. Talk about crazy. (No offense to anyone that doesn’t hide it. )
so should I make a new email address for this site or is it not shown publicly?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDM2QRW-kD0
After falling this far, it should be easy to slit my throat and end a lifetime of misery within 10 minutes. Have I got the balls?
I’ve stayed away from this website for some months now I was trying to make things in my life better but I was kidding myself I’m no much better then I was 2/3 months ago. my self-worth my soul are damaged and they are unrepairable I’m lost and homesick for a place that dose not exist I’ve tried to get on with life for my loved ones I’ve pretended to be well I cart stand to break my mothers heart anymore I don’t wont to hurt her and i know suicide is a permanent solution and they do say its for a temporary problem but […]
Today as I got up for school, my mother came into my room.. telling me if I don’t go to school she’s going to kick me out of the house .. I’m only 16, I can’t drive, I don’t have a job, and I have no friends .. As I finished getting ready for school my mother tells me she mad me breakfast. I informed her I wasn’t hungry, she thew the food In the hallway, shoved me against the wall and repeatedly pushed me, therefore we moved into the kitchen. I told her I wasn’t riding with her, she grabbed me by my arm […]
I’ve already had mine kissed. I wish everyone who has scars know how it feels to have someone who loves you kiss your scars, and promising you with their lips, that they’ll never let you do it again.
Tonight I wait.
I don’t know what I’m waiting for really but there’s nothing else to do.
I know I am worthy. I know life has it’s spectacular moments, its rare gems, its perfections and its laughter.
Yet here I am, full of hopelessness. Crazy with shame. Riddled with feelings of inadequacy.
Tears are rolling as I write.
I am despondent.
My daughter sleeps so I am silent in my anguish. In fact anguish is a strong word, maybe too strong for this state.
I am almost indifferent. Definitely a bit pissed off.
Ive lost my spark. Not sure if it’s worth chasing… I want to..
But I’m afraid and oh so so sad.
I […]
This pain I’m having needs to stop already I can’t sleep it feels as if someone put a knife through me the pain. I’m having is sharpness just when will it ever end my damn scoliosis is such a bother n I feel as if I can’t really enjoy life I know I have appointments to see doctors for them to help me n shit but I can only wait so long till my breaking point. It’s such a ***** to deal with I cry when I’m alone n when my friends or family r around I hide my feeling I don’t want them to […]
Karma
As I sit under this empty tree,
I wonder how life could be so cruel to me.
I give my all to those around,
But karma doesn’t come back and surround.
There are no answers that I can see,
To ease this pain inside of me.
But it will end sooner than you know,
When all I have to do is let go.
I cannot wait for karma to return,
The love for my soul that I most yearn.
All I hope is you learm from this,
To take more care of those you might miss.
D.A
.
.
author- me 2013
I had many more poems, but sadly I lost the only copies when I couldn’t afford my storage shed […]
I RAISED MY SON TELL HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, THEN HIS MOTHER DECIDED TO TAKE HIM BACK. HE IS NOW 25 YEARS OLD. I WASNT ABLE TO TALK TO HIM TELL HE WAS 16 YEARS OLD WHEN HIS MOTHER WANTED ME TO TAKE HIM BACK. HE DIDNT WANT TO COME BACK TO WASHINGTON, BECAUSE HE HAD A GIRL FRIEND THERE AND DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE HER.
HIS MOTHER THEN THROUGH HIM OUT AT 16, BECAUSE MY SON AND HIS MOTHERS BOYFRIEND DIDNT GET ALONG. ANYWAY, ME AND MY SON STARTED TALKING THROUGH EMAIL. ONE DAY HE WOULDNT ANSWER MY EMAILS FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS. […]
Tonight is awful. I’m close to tears, I feel very alone and unwanted. For the first time in months, I’ve actually considered hurting myself. I know that won’t help, but it’s so tempting. Since losing my therapist and many friends 3 weeks ago, I fell back hard into my already bad depression, making things worse.
I have no clue what to do anymore. I question myself. Am I good? Does my past make me bad? Am I loveable? School gets under my skin. Also, my impending birthday is looming over me like a giant, and my past is a scary dark forest around me.
I’m just lost. […]
Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. You’re beautiful. No matter what you think, you are. If no one has told you that today, then I will. Because you are. Sometimes it just takes the help of someone else to see that.
Today I was feeling pretty down this morning. It took the help of a friend to pick me up again. I suffer from depression and earlier this spring, I suffered my worst episode yet that ended with me calling the Suicide Hotline at twelve in the morning. Needless to say, I found out that there weren’t any actually resources to help me in my local […]
I am a 20 Year Old That Had a Rough Life I have Watch A Dog Die of Poison That Not Many People Know How I Felt When it Happened and I Watched My Mum Have a Heartattack and I Still Get The Blame Till This Very Day and I have Been Around Drunken Violent Brothers and I have Watched My Friends and Been Bullied and Cyber Bullied and I have Always Been There For Them And I Have Had To say Goodbye To My Black Cat That I Loved Like a Daughter and I have Watched My 2 Guinie Pigs Die and I am […]
I know what I want to do. I’ve always known it. Yet somehow it never gets done. I asked my therapist to just think of me finally getting everything he ever thought I would enjoy. People don’t think that way; especially not therapists. I am ashamed of my feelings. I think of all of the people who will die today; many of whom have very real reasons for wanting to live. I just think why can’t it be me? If X number of ppl need to die today why can’t one of them be me. A person who doesn’t want to live anymore. Do any […]
Man I hope I get better n if I need surgery to for my spine n the pain will stop hopefully stupid muscle spasms it hate myself it’s very difficult for me not to worry about the future of my well being it scares me cause I want to get better so badly I’m hurting constantly every day it’s something else on me one day it’s my neck another could be my shoulders or any other part of me that feels wrong n out of place I can’t sleep at times n when I do I don’t want to get up because of how pain […]