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No idea how I just survived nearly three days incredibly suicidal. I am exhausted. Ready to sleep for a few days. How the fuck did I make it yet again. I cried so much my eyes hurt. I am really only here because my cats. They are my furry angels. One is 13 with cancer. She is doing really well. I am mostly her for her because I don’t trust anyone to take care of her or my other little angels.
I realise things will never get better for me. I’m a an ugly retard with no personality or talent and I have chronic mental health problems (borderline personality disorder, social anxiety). This life is futile, I’m a moron and there is no point to my existence. But how can I end it when there are people who love me and vice-versa? My aunt adopted me after my mum died and she spent years, $1000s, and energy treating me as her own despite my differences and what I put her through. I think it would tear her apart. But what’s the alternative? If I stay here […]
Hi there, my name is Sami Jo. I remember being 13, and it was the best year of my life. After that, I fell into a dark place and thought there was no way out. I decided at 15 that it just wasn’t going to get any better. Over the next 5 years, I tried to kill myself 5 different times and somehow someone or something stopped me every single time from succeeding. I’m 21 now and I still have days where I am angry for ever being born into this world. But, every now and then I’ll have days like today where I think […]
I am having the hardest time getting out of this bed today…. It’s super frustrating. I don’t understand how I’m just expected to wipe off these tears and go about life with the fake smile plastered on my face that I am forced to share. I can’t afford to miss work anymore. This struggle is beyond me, but I’ll take just one more step today, because somewhere deep down I know there’s more life left to go.
I looked through maybe a half dozen books to try to get an idea of what the after-life has in store for those who commit suicide using the documented stories of near-death experiences.
There are really not a whole lot of reasonably impartial documented cases of near death experiences as a whole (as I have been able to determine anyway), maybe only numbering in the hundreds, if that. And of those stories only a handful from people who had attempted suicide…
… at least stories that get to the heart of what everybody really wants to know: Do we go to hell? Or what other negative outcomes can we reasonably infer […]
The most important part of planning or imagining suicide (to me) is knowing what music will lull you to your final rest. I realize it may seem like an insignificant and even petty detail but don’t you think the last thing you experience should be the soothing beauty of your favorite music?
What song(s) will you leave as your final farewell?
I personally would like to hear Pink Floyd when I die. I imagine that before I act, I’ll listen to Comfortably Numb and Brain Damage and then, as I’m waiting for my method to take effect, I’ll listen to Goodbye Blue Sky, the last sound to […]
I would like to share with you all a moment in my life where I felt the value of living.
I am a big fan of comic books. When I was younger I would consume manga (Japanese comics) which led to my later love in life of American graphic novels and great American literature in general. My favorite graphic novelist is Alan Moore. If you’ve never heard of him I’m sure you’ve heard of some of his works. He’s the mind behind the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta, From Hell, Lost Girls, the Killing Joke, and Watchmen. He’s a wonderful man […]
Just saw a preview for the movie, If I Stay. Seems that a girl gets into an accident and she is left to decide whether to live or die. Then, she probably gets a glimpse of the life she would lead if she chooses to stay.
I wish I could see how my life would turn out if I stayed. I already made the decision to die but I am still here. Some days I am planning for my death and others I act as if I am going to live to 90. It is actually quite exhausting to live in two extremes.
It is crazy because […]
I spent a long time writing that shit. Fuck it.
Tryed the rope around my neck and slowly go Down in knees. Just to try how it feels. Im scared for What happens next? I get dizzy and then stand up again. How long Will it take to be unconsious? Im not from US so sorry for Any spelling mistakes.
Existence is pointless but for people with Social Anxiety and other condition its also a constant torture. Healthy and rich people can at least enjoy themselves and not ponder their existence too much. Some days I really wish I could believe in god, living in ignorance must be bliss.
I want to die but I can’t. I still have people that need me to make money, too many people that need me to live. I’m not selfish enough to leave them with nothing. I don’t want them to suffer and die with me. I just want to die alone. So I have to live for them but it’s only the hollow shell of a life I’ve never really lived.
I’m still very young. I know this. At the age of 21 I should not be this hateful, this cynical, this forlorn, this lonely. But I am. I suppose I’ve always been unhappy. I’ve always been […]
Since my plans have been put into motion, I thought I would make one last attempt for help and saw my doctor today. Proscribed me 150mg of Wellbutrin to go along with my 200mg of Zoloft. Maybe the new drug will have an effect. Maybe I’ll quit smoking before I blow my brains out. Who knows! Better read up on this drug and see what i’m getting into.
There is, what I believe to be a misguided therapeutic view of suicide by medical people, social workers, government types all chattering about the different aspects of this troubling and discordant reality, but they have accomplished almost nothing since the advent of modern medical and academic study, and may have even exacerbated the issue.
Scrupulously fact checked books, articles, medical, philosophical, academic discourses on suicide almost universally call for a psychiatric or therapeutic “cure” to stop suicides from occurring, and despite titles like “Reasons for Suicide” and topic headings to that affect, they really never address the real reasons for suicide and they refuse to lend any shred of credibility to the endless hours of […]
I always have this urge, to hurt myself 1 way or another. But it’s always in my mind.
Before I sleep, I’ll imagine falling off the stairs, or even getting some mildly serious disease, enough to the hospital. On worse days, this’ll morph into funeral services for my own, or just methods in which I die and there are people around me.
Is it meant to be this way? This is my way of dealing with life? It feels so wrong, yet it sparks a feeling of warmth, love, peace and a sense of fitting in.
It it might seem superficial, but it’s my own way, right? It’s […]
I have had it with everything.
for all im concerned I have had a pretty good upbringing.
although my mother liked to drink a lot and party and take drugs, she looked after me and my siblings well, that’s what I thought.
everyone els wanted to take me and my brothers and sisters away from her. they got there wish.
and she just started picking herself up and I was going to live with her again.. the only person I trusted, loved, felt safe around… she died a year ago..
since then I have been picked on and bullied.. I have tried suicide a fue […]
Sick of this life and people. Sooo sick. Im hated. Im bullied. Im tired. Now. Im tired. No im not sad I want the end sooner now
Hey everyone, I don’t know if anyone here knows who Frank Iero is but I absolutly adore him. Last year he made a demo of a song called ‘joyriding’. The song, and the lyrics, is so breathtaking beautiful, relateble and feels so true. Let’s just say I cried and listen to it on repeat when It came out. And now, he has released it as a real single for his upcoming album! Thought Id share it.
Lyrics:
i’m not sure what they said, but if it’s true i’ll bet it’s just one more thing i’ll regret. i hate my weaknesses, they made me who i am. “yea, […]
Hello everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster here. Just recently I finally came to terms with making that final decision. The blue prints and ground work has been laid out and completed, and it’s just a waiting game now. In the next couple weeks however I would love to hear from some of you here. It can be about yourself, me, anything. What was going through your mind when you finally came to terms with that decision?
People always like to think they know how I feel, or how people like me feel, when they’re all just so far from the truth. All these feelings of worthlessness self hate, and loneliness have taken they’re toll, and reduced me to a shadow of whatever it is I was – I don’t even remember what happiness felt like, it’s just numbness where it should be.
Why do parents have to be so stuck in their ways? I promised myself I’d never make the same mistakes if I ever have kids. Never ever lay a hand on them, let alone a fist. If there’s one thing […]
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