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I loved him I loved him I loved him. I still love him. I love him.
“Things will get better” is what people usually say when you’re depressed.I don’t see that happening I see things getting worse.I tell my “friends” i just feel like dying.They don’t even ask whats wrong,They just tell me to not give up.I have all these feelings and things trapped inside of me.I figure if I go they wouldn’t care.School is worse I like to be one of those non social kids the more I get away the more noticeable I am. I’m fine with people calling me weirdo no one is normal but being called the devil,Satan,Satanic because of my music and my style really gets […]
I’ve already picked a date on when I’m going to kill myself. I decided I’ll do it by overdosing on nortriptyline. I have a total of 600mg and a bottle of red wine. Will that be enough? I’m afraid I’ll wake up paralyzed or brain damaged. I don’t want it to be a failed attempt. I hope it won’t be too painful.
Living in tornado valley, there’s always the calm before the storm. You can try to predict it, and hide from it. You can try and move, but eventually it finds you. You can try to stay where you are, and prepare for it. Sometimes that works, and other times it’s as if it was for nothing. Stand up and swear at it, dare it to come at you head on. Dare it to swallow you whole. Does any of it even matter or make a difference. The people not in the storm front, will never understand what it’s like. So it’s futile to even try […]
So I’ve been trying for so long, but literally every breath I take hurts. Every time I see him smile at another girl it kills me. Every time I see my ex-best friends laughing and smiling, I catch my breath and I want to crawl into fetal position and cry. I miss them so much, and they all knew my darkest secrets. They knew just how much they meant to me, and they left me in the fucking dust. I became the girl who never said a word in class because if I did I might just spill my guts to everyone. I went from […]
I have no idea why I feel so down all the time, why? My mum used to say when I was upset it was my age between 12 and 16 now I am 18 and I can’t seem to get out of this constant feeling of depression. I have attempted suicide in silly ways that didn’t even come close to working.. Then I for a while used to cut myself but in all honesty I think that was just a cry for help hoping somebody would notice as I was to scared to open up about my feelings to anyone. From when I turned 16 […]
feeling like shit today. stayed homd alone all day and watched porn three times… feeling so disguisted with myself. All i want is to stop being so damn lonely… not even about just sex (although that would be nice) but just someone who loves me. blech 🙁
I can’t take this hospital. I’ve tried to hold it together, I’ve tried to be strong, for you guys and for my sister, but I don’t know if I can anymore. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’ve had a complete 180 turn since I was admitted 2 days ago. I feel like there isn’t hope anymore. I just can’t live with my past… it’s too horrible. The only reason why I’m wondering if I shouldn’t is because I don’t know how my sister would react. I think she’d blame herself, and I don’t want that. I just want her […]
I really need someone to talk to, im really lonely right now. I put a post up yesterday but no reply so that made me hurt even more im so worthless that no one even on the suicide project wants to reach out too. I guess im just a piece of shit thats nothing but a burden to this world
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Tell me what keeps you awake at night?
Hey again, second post and last post.
I feel that I’m ready although my methods sucessrate is questionable, I’m going to jump tonight but I can only access 10 meter fall to a stone fallpoint… so head first seems important. If you wonder Why I can’t do”better” about the height, here is my original post with background story, if you would wonder.
I’ve written all the letters and my requests for my funeral. But this will destroy my parents and it makes me panic… I want them to be able to continue their lives… can anyone give any tips for mental preperations without any […]
Been here many times talked back by Samaritans which is no use to me, I’m bad to the bone don’t need anyone to tell me I can be forgiven , if I can’t it don’t matter , disabled now after always working and have a body that Wong work so the man part of me is no use anymore my wife says she love me but you can see the desire and attractive ness has gone, the odd time things work she don’t wanna know, still at least this post should give you a good laugh I’m ridiculed all the time anyway , so all […]
You know when you’re struggling. When you flit between completely numb and vomit inducing crying & pain where you can’t get up off the floor. When you have no one. And in the darkness you try to reach out to someone. Open up just a little. Try to explain why you are what you are, why you feel what you feel and why you hurt the people around you even though you don’t mean to. And all you get back is they’re ‘disappointed’?
I never trust people and this has reminded me why. I can’t form any kind of relationship, even a simple friendship is beyond me. I […]
I swear I can’t get mad at people, I get mad at myself instead when they let me down or do something wrong because of course it would have to be my fault and I am getting what I deserve. There is a person in my life with several issues but I accept them for who they are or who I wanted to believe they are. It’s like no matter how they treat me I tell myself they are doing the best they can and I need lighten up. I feel humiliated for what I tolerate. Is mutual respect really too much to ask for? […]
Excuse me…I seem to have left my pain laying around here somewhere..have you seen it? It’s black and fowl and twisted and I just can’t seem to hang on to it anymore! lol call me butter fingers if you must but it keeps on slipping away!! 😛 lmao!! Anyways..if you see it, it’s labeled “loathing of a lost and forgotten soul”. It might be walking around aimlessly somewhere here, just thought I’d check again. Let me know if you find it’s sorry little bitter ass! lol
Thanks! 😉
Life is shit. We all know it. And painful. I don’t recommend killing yourself because it messes up anyone close to you. My wife killed herself nearly 3 years ago and I am still dealing with the trauma. What I recommend is not having children.
The cathars of 10th 11th and 12th century languedoc believed that conception was the greatest of all sins. I agree. If life is shit we should refuse to replicate ourselves.
The best way to give life the proverbial finger, is to see it through to its bitter natural end, and all the while refuse to give it what it really wants from […]
I am a gambling addict, I have borrowed money, stolen from my parents, even embezzled from my work to fund my addiction.
I am 32 and a father of two young boys aged 3 & 9, I practically have no relationship with my wife, I guess we are still together only because of the kids…
The current situation is that all the chickens are going to come home to roost. My lenders are lining up outside my door every morning, I don’t think I can hide my embezzlement at work for too long.
I have three options,
1. Stick a gun up my mouth,
2. Run away start a new […]
Cant bear to live anymore. Im in so much pain. There are times where I silently lay n pray for death while im trying to sleep. But then I feel so guilty for feeling that way I feel so selfish. cuz I have a 3 year old daughter n I cant even imagine putting her thru the pain of having a mom that commited suicide I dnt want to emotional lu hurt her or damage her. What do I do
I feel insane, like i’ll never be happy. Even though i strive so hard to be happy. Yet i feel as if there is fire in my skin, and i am drowning within’. I can’t trust nor really open up to people.. i can feel them judging.. no one understands the concept of depression around here.. they just think you are ‘sick’ .. that’s all you’ll hear “She’s sick, look at her wrist” “She needs to be put away” .. But they don’t get the constant darkness taking over your mind.. Out of all honesty if i were to do it.. I’d make it look […]
I am in a big problem relating to my life and career. I request to please give me a little time.
I am a 23 yr old male, still a student in college:(. I want to tell you about me from starting.
As a kid I was very much shy and was bullied by fellow students, though I used to get good marks. I studied in a govt. school, when I was in high school, I took admission in high profiled coaching institue for medical entrace exam, I didn’t have friends there and got bullied by a teacher, so I quit that coaching institue, and when […]