I am a gambling addict, I have borrowed money, stolen from my parents, even embezzled from my work to fund my addiction.
I am 32 and a father of two young boys aged 3 & 9, I practically have no relationship with my wife, I guess we are still together only because of the kids…
The current situation is that all the chickens are going to come home to roost. My lenders are lining up outside my door every morning, I don’t think I can hide my embezzlement at work for too long.
I have three options,
1. Stick a gun up my mouth,
2. Run away start a new life
3. or stand up and face the music….
I am trying to figure out which would be worse for my kids….
a) having a Dad who committed suicide
b) having a dead beat Dad who ran out on the kids
c) having a convicted criminal for a Dad, absolutely broke and no hope of support from any family.
I know the obvious answer shall be option 3, but, I am not brave enough to take the high road
So what do you think shall be better for my kids 1 or 2
I am inclined to option 1,
I bought a gun today and have checked into a motel, sitting in the tub, with a glass of wine… I guess am a now posting here gathering up the courage to go through with it…
God!!! I don’t have the balls to do even this… how pathetic am I?
6 comments
Hey dude, just a quick question…. Did/do you have a father?
I did till I was 27, he died in a freak road accident
Ah, I’m so sorry to hear that. Honestly, I think he did a good job raising you. Sure, you’ve extended yourself beyond your means trying to chase that paper (haven’t we all in our own right?)… but he taught you how to be a man. If he hadn’t, option 3 wouldn’t even be up there. Your sons need you to do the same for them.
Splash some cold bath water on your face, try to stop spending money you don’t have, and harden the fuck up for your boys. Your sons need a dad. One of my best friends dads embezzled a shit-ton when we were growing up. He never stopped being a great father, and still is today. You’ll always be superman to your sons, the catch is that you must be present to do so.
I’m pulling for you, AND your family. I hope you can see the good in you, it’s not hard if I can do it.
Hard spot to be in. Nothing motivates people more than when it comes it to money. Greedy little apes aren’t we? But I suppose you already know the answer to that from personal experience.
Look man, I know you’re terrified but just take option 1 out of the equation. And then option 2 as well.
Do whatever you can in good conscience to make things right. Give the sharks the money they want. Find a way to get it somehow. Then work on fixing your life.
Whoah! Hold up! Do you have to decide this immediately? Yes, it’s serious, but will a few more days matter? Can you get away from the gun while you think this through?
I promise everyone I have no agenda here, it just seems addictions are THE topic of discussion a lot the past few days, so I keep suggesting this to folks — but only because I find it useful myself: Ninth: Visit smart recovery.org? It’s a no bullcrap way to look at your addictions, no matter if its food, money, whatever. There are folks who have been in your shoes there. They don’t do “powerless”. They believe you control your life and choices. No higher power required. If you’re like me and were never taught to work through tuff like an adult, you can find lots of information on how to make changes there.
Regardless, can you walk away from that gun for another day or two?
You have more than 3 options!
Crap! I ment manor oh, not “ninth.” I’m in the hospital and my brain is only half functional just now.