For general topics related to the site.
Tic tok
the time has come
with 1 swipe
i am done
my days are numbered
i cant keep running
i got to stop
no reason to live
while i am in pain
i cant contain
what i have unleashed
but at least i gave
a good fight
-brian
why? i dont get it anymore why am i still here when no one needs or wants me i feel so unloved from family and even my own boyfriend we just argue all the time and now that i am put into another foster home i just cant do this shit anymore i feel so pathtic doing this shit again when i told myself i wouldnt fall this hard but sadly i did and thats whats the hardest to belive that in my darkest deepest hole that i can feel this shit and still am carrying on with this life. i really just need to […]
Most days I am so horribly bored. Do I ever need a bloody job! Not that jobs in general are a lot of fun, but anything’s gotta be better than sitting on my a** all day. Or going into town, killing time, no one to see, escaping into the internet on my smartphone, just ‘out’ for the sake of being out and because I cannot stand being cooped up on my own anymore.
I should not be contemplating suicide out of boredom! This is not a good reason (and is actually not mine). Work is a necessary evil in this world, it’s just the way it […]
Most people in life have many people who would miss them… I have 1.
My entire life reads like a greek tragedy. First my mother didn’t want me and gave me health problems in an attempt to abort, then my siblings abused me physically (and sexually in one case), Then as I grew older the abuse got worse when we moved by my grandfather. My dad was never really around, and my family didn’t want, need, or had any wish to even see me… my mother would leave me places in the hopes I’d get taken and only my sister seemed to care (she was much […]
First off I want to say thank you for all the people or most of the people who could understand and took time to be with me last night. I felt good when I was close to leaving that you people really cared even though you don’t know me. So thank you for that. And for that one person who was rude and inconsiderate please don’t comment. But I am going to stay positive.
So as you all know I hit rock bottom last night and couldn’t do it anymore. And I couldn’t take living anymore. So I acted. Not like other times where I was […]
Hello!
So I have a few questions about the method of overdosing. See, what I really want to do is use helium or ********, but I’m not in a position where I can get the necessary equipment. Anyway, I’m probably going to overdose on pills. But I really don’t want to deal with the throwing up and pain. So I was wondering, if I took some strong sleeping pills before, or just overdosed on sleeping pills, do you think I’d fall asleep first and stay asleep? Because that would be ideal. Thank you!
I think that I’m the type of a good girl, I have never talk back to my parents, not even when they crushed my dream of becoming a ice skater, not even when my mother forgave me from seeing the love of my life, but actually she is over- protective just with me, I have 2 bigger sisters, but the only one that my parents don’t allow to go out at night or even with my friends on a Saturday is me, I really can’t live anymore in this controlled life, they are making me do all the things that they can’t do in their […]
Today instead of driving straight home I took a long detour around my town. I went up and down streets and stopped occasionally on a hill side. I pondered whether or not to hit to gas and keep going. A small accident maybe, they would say. But it would be okay for me. All that pain and stupid shit would be over. All the worry about being so fucking different and not normal would be gone. I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life locked up somewhere. No, if I were to be punished then I’d rather die because I’m already living in hell. I […]
I feel better than I did. I needed to get all that out. I’ve picked up drinking over the last several months. That helps a lot. I don’t want to destroy myself, just feel better. I have received some good news/bad news a few days ago. I can’t think of suicide right now. I have no other option but keep going despite what I’m feeling inside… I’m not sure that I can do this. I am positive that I will be back to this place again. I spent a really long time debating this decision…
I need to go to the rural.
Thank you family, my path to heal.
Seven bills, to save my life.
I’m still down for the band.
I’ll buy the bass. Will it rise in horizon.
The sacred dragon. You all, the mystical guiding stars.
The helm to navigate, to the shore of the golden.
Enlighten. Mystery. Organism, as you.
The dream. For me. To save, an ill-dying young man.
I seek the same as you all but stranger, I suppose. My blasted n- ……
Wrote this last night, just need to get it out of the way.
sighduck
I just don’t need a friend… I need like 1000000000000000000! please kik me at Mariana_Swaggy
I think ive been lost for a while now. I finally realized how sad and miserable my life has been for at least a good 4 years. Ive been aware that im depressed following other illnesses by my doctor diagnosing me with depression and other mental illnesses, but it barely hit me. Hard. I look around and i look at me, at this 14 year old girl who cant find her face nor her soul anywhere. I look in the mirror and i see a girl who looks so lost, so tired. All kids my age, even younger or older seem to have things under […]
Then I’m either gone, or I’ve gotten better and no longer use the site. I usually change this posts publish date so I haven’t been on for about a week, if you see this. I just want to thank all of you, for helping. And a special shout out to Shepard, keep on keeping on, soldier. I really do mean it when I say thank you. You’ve saved me from doing some really stupid things. And thanks for listening to me constantly complain about Alexis. Hope your leg gets better. Give them hell.
Hey, thanks for everyone who commented and talked to me on my last post. I’ve really come to some solid realizations that I need to start appreciating my life more and the things I love to do in this world. I need to find myself without the crutch of having some one else there to fill a void that needs no filling in the first place. That pursuit is not achievable! I’m not gonna pretend that I’m a whole person, because I haven’t found myself yet..I’m not secure with who I am yet. And I’m not gonna let that kill me, or drive me insane […]
Why is it when people are happy
there are people who are sad?
why is there opposite happy and sad?
Why are there evil in the world?
Why cant i change?
why cant i be
why cant i be
why cant i be…
straight
why do i have to be bi?
why cant i change?
i cant survive… Im nog strong enough
im chrishton
A bisexual chrishton
well please help
please
please…..
-brian
p.s im 13 year old boy
I try to live myself now with no regrets but I have one from the past that I just can’t get over. I left my wife while she was 9 months pregnant and asked for a divorce. I’ve always been apart of my child’s life but I can’t get over leaving her, I never should have done it. When she’s nice to me I am on top of the world. When she’s mean or ignores me it puts me in the deepest depression. It has been over 7 years and I just can’t get over it, I try. I’ve talked to psychologist and been out […]
I just want to say something before I leave and finish what I have started. It was nice meeting all of you from CC, TC and SP I may not talk much but just having a place to come and read and share thoughts has helped me for a while. I have been planning this for weeks and I picked tonight for no reason but it is the best night i could have picked. I am done trying I am done taking to people and I am sick of every doctor you talk to wanting too put you on medication. I know….. I self medicate […]
When you know someone’s true colors and everyone else thinks their such an amazing person who can do no wrong.
No, but get on their bad side after investing your all and they’ll drop you like they never knew you.
Which of the three is causing you the most pain?
A. Past (lost loved one, regrets over mistakes, bad memories of traumatic experiences, etc)
B. Present (being bullied, can’t pay the bills, don’t like the way you look, physical pain or illness, etc)
C. Future (being stuck in a rotten marriage, dead end job, failing out of school, or just a general dreary view of what lies ahead, etc)
Mine is A. If I could just get a lobotomy and forget my past I’m sure I’d be all sunshine & giggles. Yeah.
When life is tiresome and pointless then death has an almost magical allure, never to wake up again to a life of pain and loneliness, I wish I could have a quick way out but I seem to just keep going and putting up with it. I feel so embarrassed with my problems and it’s only a matter of time before I’ll suffer the humiliation of discovery and the doctors wonder why I suffer paranoia. If I hold on then I can’t guarantee my mental state as it fluctuates but I’m scared of death and I’m scared of living.
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