For general topics related to the site.
But some of these post make me want to die more.
Idk if this site will speed up or slow down my death at this moment. 🙂 the faster the better.
And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I’ll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time.
Froze my ass off today whilst traipsing around the woods with my uncle. The scenery was nice and I always enjoy being around my Uncle (more than probably my whole family because he sees me as me, not a dark moody piece of shit) but it didn’t clear my head like I had hoped. Did the opposite, actually. I feel so damn worse after getting back.
I had a good cry then slept half the day, but I came to the conclusion that I think the woods is my ideal resting place.
While the idea of death by hypothermia has crossed my mind a lot, I […]
Since reading and responding to posts here I’ve noticed everyone fits into their own category of what depression means to them. While many have always been down with bullying, financial hardships, abuse or mental disorders, others have complicated combinations of all of it.
Personally, I’ve had a taste of plenty of the aforementioned issues. I’ve also been fortunate enough to bypass most of it for a long time. I had a great stretch of happiness (the most I’m capable of harnessing). Now I’m at the point of needing to rebuild and raising up from depths of the worst depression yet.
Knowing where I’ve been, what it […]
It’s obvious to me. I’m throwing myself into a hole, each time getting a little deeper. Farther and farther down where I know you’ll never find me. I wanna take the pills to stop it all. I want to drink the whiskey you bought me. I can’t keep going on like this, knowing that some day you might leave me. Why did this happen? Why did I give everything up?
Why can’t the words seem to flow from my fingertips.
I honestly don’t know what to do…
I feel so alone. It’s like IÂ have the perfect boyfriend, friends and family. So why do I consistently feel this urge to harm myself. It’s been 6 months since I’ve cut and smoked. So why do I still feel this way. Why can’t the thoughts disappear. I want it all to end. I don’t always want to cut myself. I want to stop being so tired and sad all the time. I hate it. I hate myself. I’m not skinny enough or pretty enough. I just want to feel okay again.
So, damn this day because I was talking with Siri and . . .
Everything is slipping and I can’t be saved
so now we play the waiting game.
I act strange, well… I understand philosophy, quantum physics and things like that, but I think the other people are harder to get.
I dunno, I think the other people act strange too.
Most of them are mean, arrogant and harsh.For example, if somebody’s got a big spot on the nose, they wouldn’t think twice to mock him or her.If somebody is overweight they’d start bullying.And so on…
I’m so dumb sometimes…
Once a girl “befriended” me and we used to talk about everything, she said things about me but I couldn’t notice she was actually insulting me, she was just having fun, laughing at […]
— when I run out of weed, it’s basically like being out of medicine. Therefore, today sucks the cock.
I was told once, before we’re born we choose to come into this life. Told the possibilities of life are endless, you can do anything you put your mind to. Why is it that life contradicts that very statement. From a young age were forced to see the realities of what this life really is. A place where judgement of others is more important than judgement of one’s self. Where the rich strive and prosper and the poor struggle. Where the only peace you can find is in the bottom of a bottle. Or with a complete stranger, it seems the closest to you have […]
After 10 long months of being told what to be.
After being left stranded by people I thought understood me.
After 10 long years of being broken,
After being made fun of.
Can I decide what goes on for once?
Can I have empathy, instead of sympathy?
Can I be perceived, instead of overlooked?
Can I be loved, instead of hated?
Can I tear up my past, like a rough draft, and throw it away?
Can I start over? Will things even change?
Can I just end my life? You would all be better off that way…
.. but nothing more than an artificial light.
I can’t seem to be able to express myself properly much anymore. Nor can I express this pain that is so deeply imbedded in my heart and my soul, from there on it has hurt my body badly, and this goes on, and on, in a perpetual cycle. The sun has gone for so long. My spirit has gone for so long. I am debilitated by the relentless pain I continue to carry. It has been 6 months, and in these 6 months I have only learned of more and more that has hurt me so much until […]
What am I? Nihilist
What do I believe in? Nothing
What do I do? Nothing
What is life? Nothing at all
Where am I going? Nihil (Nowhere, nothing)
Is there any inherent meaning in life? No
Should I make a meaning for my life? Nah
Why not? No reasons to make reasons
People looking for the meaning of life are … Naive
Morality? Nope, thanks, that’s a lie
What is right? Nothing
What is wrong? Nothing
Why am I so mean? Hm, let’s revisit that topic again, friends; I don’t know. I don’t know why I can be so nice and friendly one second, only to turn around and state things that I hate about you. I don’t know why my natural instincts are to push people away and to be alone.
I’m strong? Well, maybe I am. I don’t get too sensitive about seemingly “hurtful” things anymore. I push through problems and life like I was built to.
Why am I like this? Maybe it’s because I dislike life in general. Not because I’m an “attention-seeking little girl” as I’ve […]
Almost a year, time is passing and I’m stuck here waiting for I-dunno-what to accomplish my plan.
Months , crying, hurting myself, blaming myself, feelin’ sorry for myself, suffering for the choices I’ve made, suffering for the things I’ve done and hating every fuckin’ part of me.
There are things in my life I can’t change, I refuse to deal with that.I’m NOT STRONG ENOUGH, and there’s nothing wrong with that, IT’S OK GIVING UP SOMETIMES!.
It’s ok.
I just gave up, just gave up.
Planned my suicide, everything is settled down, I’ve got what I needed, I’m supposed to kill myself last month, but […]
everything seems either boring or annoying. theres very little that i like anymore (including people). every chance i get i drown myself in booze. God, I’m bored.
first time I’ve ever take melatonin. I like it. but can you od on it? I don’t want to, but I’m genuinely curious