General

Ive been clean for 2 months now but the struggle is still real im always thinking if i just had a line how great i would feel. I was sitting at a party tonight thinking why the fuck am i here whats the point wheres my joy. I should be having the time of my life but i cant break past the walls. I dont know whats happening i have a good job, good friends, good girl. But somehow i cant find happiness, how is one supose to want to live when he has everything he needs and wants but still is never happy. In […]

No one wants to talk to me. I’m so depressed and empty that no one wants anything to do with me anymore. It’s like I’m not even there. I have no friends, only people that use me when it’s convenient for them. I’m just so sad and lonely.

I suppose I can say I’m a suicide attempt survivor, coming up a year ago now I took an overdose but only landed myself in hospital and had to endure weeks of hallucinogenic hell from the over ride of drugs screwing up my mental state even more so than previously. After the attempt was the first time I learned that anybody would care if I had died, I know people think its silly when I say I didn’t believe anyone cared but it was true, I really believed I was doing the people in my life a favor by leaving forever. Sitting in a cafe […]

My name is Chris and I’m going to tell you a little bit about my life I’m a very depressed person

pat the age of four my dad started touching me it continued until I was 12 then he went to prison

he was murdered when the other inmates found out the only person that knew he was doing it was my brother

me and him was close then he died from an overdose I started cutting after that the only people I had after that was mom and sister momma was a stripper she often brung home men to fuck the they would touch me she saw […]

so i just broke up with my girlfriend.. well not officially yet.. but I really really fucked things up.. I was diagnosed w Bipolar when I was 18 and life kinda just stalled at that point and I’m struggling up till now.. I haven’t finished college yet and I’m 27.. because of that reason.. I just keep dropping out cause I have a problem being around loads of people (it’s an on and off thing, I’ve had a few gf’s and conquests since then and I do have good friends but yeah)

anyways.. so recently I failed to get a job I really wanted because of […]

What’s the point in having a voice when it’s never going to be heard?
What’s the point in even trying when all your efforts are just going to be shot down?
What’s the point of having friends when they only use you up and toss you aside?
I’m done. I’m just so done with this whole fucking place. I’m fading into a figment into the shadows, walking silently, alone.
No one really ever gives a shit about you, do they. So why keep on living for them? Why keep on living when there’s no point?
I hate this feeling so much. I hate myself and […]

I don’t know when or how it all began but all I know is I can’t get out.

Depression.

Sorry if this story is choppy but I really don’t know how to describe this.

This whole year, I’ve been feeling lost, confused, empty, numb, broken, etc. My best friends were always there to help me out with all these problems and soon the feelings would fade away.

But, oh. They would always come back.

They were nightmares; ghosts always haunting me. Telling me how worthless I was. Telling me how insecure I should be.

My best friend, we’ll call her May, was the same way to me too. She had her […]

Many people who come here want to end some kind of pain, pain that they feel there is no other escape from except to end it all.  Emotional pain, physical pain, social pain, loneliness, isolation, heartache, failing health, or even what the Germans call “weltshmerz”, an ache brought about by the understanding that the physical experience of living in the world cannot satisfy the demands of the human mind.

I understand these pains.  And while I agree that the end of life also brings an end to these pains, as near as I can tell, there’s only one downside to death.  The downside is that death […]

I don’t feel worth it. I feel like everyone else would be better off without me. I feel like everyone is just secretly wishing I was dead. I feel unwanted, criticized, and unloved. All I want is professional help and someone to show they care… But I want it to be one of the four boys that mean the most to me… I don’t think people realize how truly depressed and suicidal I am, unless I’ve told you. I don’t think the people I’ve encountered in my life could truly believe me when I say I want to die. I feel those people see me […]

… every single day i think about him. His beautiful smile, the way he walks, his angelic voice, his laugh that sounds like bells the angels would be jealous of, the way his beautiful blue and green eyes capture all of the glorious moments the entire world holds while they seem so far away from reality that you could be captured in an instant and never leave if he would look at you long enough. And his soul, played around with so many times you can feel his depression, hurt, sorrow, anger, sadness, and need for love just seeping off of his aura its almost […]

Does anybody know if he’s still alive??

At first, I blamed everybody else for my failures, then myself, then I realized it is no ones fault. Not even mine. I really tried. This is just they way it is. People just don’t seem to understand. Everybody I know tried to help me, and so did I, but it was never meant to have a positive outcome. Now I sit here with a pile of failures and no future worth living for at an age of 30, with half of it more or less pure suffering. I was never meant to succeed in anything and this was set in stone from the day […]

Hey

I know i have not done a post in a while now but I’m here trying to recovery but in some deep problems ….. Just here to say recovery is possible you just have to be strong and believe that you want better for yourself ….no one wants to help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves so take that first step …..throw away the blade , throw the rum down the drain , put the pill bottle where it belongs and find the strength to move on .

Kris

I’m tired if fighting. Why should I? We are all gonna die someday right so why not today? Today seems like a good day to leave. To leave all this pain and misery. There is no point in living only a point in dieing.

I feel like I have gone past the point where I was upset st the thought of suicide. I feel much more clinical about it now. It feels like managing a project , there are tasks I need to check off before I get to the final stage . I feel like ive lost the war and all that’s left is to tidy up the lose ends.

…

I really fucking hate the summer because it’s just a reminder of how alone I am. I don’t like anything and I don’t like anybody and I would just like to disappear now because I hate the nothingness of everything. I really thought that volunteering at the library most days would put a dent in my boredom and anger and sadness as a result of that boredom, but two hours a day is just not long enough. I don’t like anything right now and everything I find to do always bored me after five minutes, I can think of literally nothing I want to do. […]

I don’t know whats wrong, its like ive lost all motivation, i dont want to do anything, i dont care about anything, i feel like im just drifting through a world that doesnt accept me, and i dont know what to do.