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my name is willam lewis and i hate this guy me im in a internal battel with my self not stoping no ending i dont under stand why all i know is
the guy i hate the man who fuck me up me i hate the way i hate my self the way i cant stop heting my self and a feel the despret need to diy why am i like this i dont know all i know is that this guy….. me is a ****
here i am. once again. holding the knife. with fear of knowing what i want to do. im scared. i can admit that. i want it over. heres my chance. will i do it? i wish i could. i wish i was weaker now, more than ever. to just do it. so i think i am. main vain. and goodbye. to those all who never cared. to hear my call. that i have sent many, many times. and i get no answer. i get no help. i dont need it. i supose i was never meant to. this is how it is. the life i […]
Wondering who I should choose to sign as witnesses on my will. I asked my grandma but she won’t sign and my father would probably be devasted and confused. Don’t want any acquaintances to know, do I ask a stranger?
I have only 4 days left to finish all of my documentation and such so, I’m not sure what to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKg0VSoDdxI
ill start well if im honist im feling like a bad of shit iv got a gcse music tomorow but iv been thinking bout what people have been saying and i feel shit this song reflects it i think and the humer in it makes me feel a bit beter but aney way i was thinking to night if i died i wouldent haft to fill one more form sit an exsam and it would all be gon away and forgoten i hate my self for the shit im doing to my self in genrel i hate myself
aney way how do you feel tonight and […]
Humiliated. Helpess. Tormented. Scared.  Ive been going through these emotions for a several years and I had no idea how to fix them until now. The answer to my questions is suicide. I need to kill myself to finally feel like Im at peace.
As I am typing this, my life on paper sounds like the most ideal life anyone can hope to live. I did drop out of college and my job, but only for a few months as I’m planning to get a part time summer job and take classes again in the Fall (I’m lucky my parents didn’t punch me in the head for what I did). Everyone in my family is… family. Normal. Granted, my parents and I had our differences and argued sometimes, but that’s normal, isn’t it?
Childhood was relatively normal (minus being molested by two teeenage girls when I was like… 8? I […]
almost every day now, i think about suicide. when i shower, i black out, grab something sharp and just start cutting. i don’t really know why i’m doing it other than my list of disorders. i haven’t cut since 7th grade. i’m in high school now and i started again about a week ago. whether i’m depressed or not when it happens, i do it anyways. everyone except my family can see, i don’t care.. but i just like looking at them. not because i think they look cool or make me cool, it just makes me feel better to know that i tried fighting […]
I am guessing you are gone now. I haven’t heard from you in a while and know you had little rope left, needing what remained to hang from. I never learned your real name and don’t know what you looked like; I only knew you for a few weeks but we shared more in that time than most do in many years. I loved you, my friend. Truth be told, I had a big crush on you too and part of me wishes I had said so. My world was better for your having been in it and I will always remember you and thank […]
iv had enuf of this shit all the deth all the pane all the things i was blamed for all the people who tell me im liying all the times iv cryd all the shit that for know reson has been dish out to me and people dont care not one of the fuckers care i cant do this i cant deel with this i dont havet to deel with this the bulleys the prics the demonds in my head me feeling the need to kill/hert my self i cant do it i just cant and then people ask whta the fucks wrong with you….
i think […]
Jladd here as all of you know and i figured you guys would like to hear my story.
My mom never use to be a drunk or violent. She was once a normal beautiful women who would give you the shirt off her back. But that’s not the case now. I have two brothers and a sister. And then one adopted brother and sister. My mother never use to hit me or anything like that but it all started after we moved into our new house and she lost her job. My stepdad was always at work to support us so i never really saw him and […]
There is no treatment for depression. Suicide prevention is shit aswell. This shitty society should stop wasting their time for a so called treatment and prevention.
Just shoot me in the fucking head. What’s so hard to understand about that? I don’t want to fucking live. All available suicide methods suck.
Going in front of a train? Hanging? Jumping? Come on. I just want a god damn gun.
Who wants to live in this shit hole anyway?
Fuck you for making me stay here.
I try so hard to look and act normal, to not look weird but eveyone can see right through me. I am so transparent. I make everyone feel uncomfortable because I’m so strange. I can feel it. I’ve realized I’m not normal. I thought I was long ago, when I was a kid but certain things needed to be fixed but they weren’t and now I’m fucked. I don’t think I will ever have kids or get married. No child should have a parent like this. I don’t think I could be happy with anyone. I love my boyfriend but still hate my […]
An emotion so strong, yet so visible, yet to those who choose to see only what they want to, see only the flash of fire in your eyes, feel only a burn in the deepest depths of your soul, hear only the drop of one tear as it passes past your cheek, thesesigns catch those who care and they look into your eyes with the power of ice, calm your soul with just one touch and dry the tear with just one word.
My mother is still physically and mentally abusive. And she never use to be abusive at all but i dont really know what happened. My mom has said hurtful things to me like telling me im a fuck-up and im worthless and also that nobody likes a little girl with scars. Not to metion the physical abuse so bad that i wish she would just kill me right then, but anyways i just cant bring myself to hate her and i still care about her dearly and i even drained my bank account to help pay for her surgery and prescriptions. Is there something wrong […]
what is wrong with me , this may sound stupid and worthless but im so sick of people walking all over me , what have i ever done wrong to get hurt so much in my life, im 15 years old and i think i might be devolping bi polar disorder, i always put an act on infront of others, when im around my family and friends i act happy and im the most cheerful person ever but when im by myself at night times i cry , sometimes even cry myself to sleeep. i have cut a couple times but not deep enough so […]
I trusted some one again and they left me i gotten back a friend but i dont think she wants to talk to me really any more i have my friend i made this year hes a good friend i think i bug him some times i dont think i will ever find some one that whants to be my girlfriend more one day as much as i want some thing with them i put in so much effort with every one to put a smile when there sad or mad but whos there for me when i need it no one i just want […]
i was watching a bunch of science videos today on youtube (theyre damn entertaining). i learned that the radius of the universe is 14 gigaparsecs wide. 1 gigaparsec is 3.3 billion light years. 1 light year is 5.88×10^12 miles. 93 billion light years across. thats a ludicrous amount of space and its all full of mostly nothing. the earth is just a small rock floating in all this nothing.
to compare; there are over 1 trillion bacteria on the skin of an average human. these bacteria are about 2×10^-6 meters long. a 6 foot human is 1.83 meters. that means that we humans are almost a […]
I’m new so I’m sorry if I am not doing this right… Can I complain here? I’ve only read a little.
I had a hideous upbringing, a hideous adolescence… I joined the US military to escape home…
My very best friend in the whole world was someone I met online, actually. For years he was my confidant. Long story short, we met, fell in love. Much as I fled my home state, I up and fled my home country and moved to the other side of the world. Got into an excellent school, an excellent programme, doing all right. It was a struggle doing it, but everyone […]
I don’t understand why I feel this way. It’s like no matter what I do I am still a pathetic worthless piece of trash who deserves to be beaten and raped. I am 22 now and my life should be better I haven’t talked to my step dad in 7 years. I thought I was better now. Last spring I was raped by two strangers and ever since I have been lashing out at people. I want them to hurt me because if I star it then the only person I have to blame is me… The down side is that now I just want […]
Have you tried every option in the book that never worked and are now planning your suicide? Before you even try to kill yourself, I want you to do a small task for me. I want you to go to the most peaceful and beautiful place you know that it is close to you (say.. the beach, the sun gleaming on the forest, a beautiful park)Â Go there, and just sit and notice the beauty around you. Don’t think, don’t cut. Just close your eyes, your mind, your hurt. Listen around you and relax. Do this whenever life gets to you. I don’t know if this […]
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