For general topics related to the site.
my computer fucked up before I was done writing but I just wanted to say I understand. very much. Im sorry for your pain but I enjoy talking music with you. I had a lot more to say but….lost it.
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Going out of country for a bit so if you try to reach me and cant its not cause I don’t care. Will be reachable till Sat night 12 am. My Dad had lung surgery and has been very sick, don’t want to leave but promised my daughter we would go. Im awake tonight if u need to talk. Will be back next Sunday.
Depression is a burglar in more ways then one.
It steals all happiness and won’t let you have fun.
Your eyes start to water and your nose begins to run.
Your thoughts envelope you and you scream your done.
My dear your days of depression has soon begun.
You can’t take it anymore you give up,
Depression has won.
http://youtu.be/LBmrmVt0IJU
I sit at the edge of the fountain whilst all the children play within. There is ample water that does not touch me or cool me. My reflection broken on a thousand surfaces. A thousand eyes. A thousand fears.
Mom: I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for the family. Thank you for working so hard to pay for necessities, housing, and my medical bills. You will no longer have to deal with that though. The end is near. I’d like to also add that I wish you understood the way I have felt all of my life. The words I recall hearing still hurt me until this very day: “a mistake,” to Rebecca. The beatings were not a lesson learned, nor helpful to my self-development. Your yelling and screaming did nothing but torment me, I never wanted to hear […]
As I have mentioned many times before here on tsp, In 2002 I reclined the seat in my car in the garage and closed my eyes and waited but before I fell asleep forever I kept seeing images of my 1 yr old niece and 5 year old nephew. Â I got out of the car went up to bed, cried and have been living in pain ever since. Â But its all worth it after days like today, when they show up out of the blue and we spend some hours having fun swimming, playing wiffle ball and just being around these 2 great kids makes […]
Raining endlessly, the usual bipolar weather of New England. Cold & drabby, yet a constant reminder of how she feels on a regular basis. Allows her to empathize with at least something, but ironically rain has no vitalities, schedules, appointments, nothing. Mere droplets, all without knowledge, lacking a single breath of life, just free falling, rhythmically dancing with not a even a slight reason or for any purpose. It’s all just there, forced to fall by the weathering ways of Earth’s atmosphere, its recycling. Yet may still compare with individuals prior to “living,”, born without a choice, forced to live amongst others, unknowing & dancing […]
I am done with life obliviously why I am posting this. Anyways I want to die and can’t decide OD sleeping pills or some pill or hang. I know hanging is painful but works if your not found before dead but, OD can also be painful and doesn’t work unless you have the right pill; or what is another way?
I got my period this morning and i just got off an acid trip so im feeling really low. its the one time of the month i cant fight off. i know i said id never get on her ever again but i need to hear myself think for a bit to keep these thoughts away. Fucking shit… and julian just fucking left. feel like a panic attack is coming on 🙁
Today was nothing special, the usual boring, stressful mess at work. However, it’s still the day that finally broke me down, though I’m not sure why. For roughly three years now, not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about death, but getting home today, I knew I couldn’t stand one more day of hating what I saw in the mirror.
I’m just drained mentally, and numb emotionally. I don’t live for myself, but exist from day to pointless day. Each day is just dull maintenance of my basic needs. I find no pleasure in life, nor is there anything I want out of it: […]
I have nothing to live for and from I’ve heard IV heroin is the best high there is. Â Also there’s a good chance you can OD easily. Â Should I start up an IV heroin habit? Â Perhaps if I get caught up with the wrong crowd someone would shoot me in the head..
FML..
*Not a religious poem, just something I wrote a while back. Yes, it mentions angels, but that’s meant in a sense of protectors and security. Not Godly angels*
Tension, Stress, Impossible to Bear.
Rampaging chaos, A tourniquet, It’s all come Down to this.
A note, A noose, That’s all that’s Left.
I’m in a room
Where no one
Can hear The goodbye Whispers
Of the Lost soul as it Jumps. Falls. Hits. And is gone.
Away with The body it Held captive.
Parted into a Different world Where it wishes To be.
Don’t stop it From going there, It’s the hearts’ Desire.
Breaking free of the Straight jacket It was in.
Don’t call it Suicide. Don’t think of […]
Dear Dad,
I think you’ll find this soon, but I guess that’s what I intended. You never seemed to pay that much attention to me anyway. I mean, you never talked to me, we never went out and did anything fun together. I bet you didn’t even know my favorite color. But it’s okay. What’s done is done and the past is the past. Don’t blame yourself, even though it kind of was your fault…don’t take it too hard dad, but I’m finally gone, and I hope you finally notice me after all these years of not acknowledging my presence. I guess you’ll have to find me sometime. […]
Someday people will be able to plug themselves into their computer and ‘think’ their blog posts. That sure will make it nice for us suicidal types who have no energy to type because our depression has drained it all.
‘If wishes worked, I’d be dead. Damn, I wish they worked.’
Well, guys, I don’t know how to say this, but here it is:
I have this crazy thought that the world isn’t real.
Does that make sense?
I don’t know if it’s me being paranoid or delusional or if I am right.
Oh, gosh, someone help me.
Well, I’m a newcomer. I’ve read, and commented on a couple of posts and I’m actually kind of…well…not ‘happy’ that I found this site but, more intrigued. I’m 14, 10th grade, and I’ve already found my depression. Even when I get out of it and go to my ‘happy music’ (which is basically rave and happy hardcore), I find myself slowly slipping back into the dark emo cutting phase. and don’t get mad at the word emo. It’s how I describe myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends who are there for me, but I just don’t know what it is that pulls me […]
I told you I was scared and upset, that I didn’t think I’d be able to do this. I told you about my plans, chewing my lip, knowing you really didn’t care. I told you that too – you got mad, and said that you did. I don’t know how many times I asked you for advice, or for help. You said you’d be here for me, no matter what. But I realized you never were there for me.
I don’t know why I still stick around. You told me you knew. I asked you if things got better, if I even deserved to be […]
Ive never been that girl to be “depressed”. Im always laughin,even when there’s that one thing that killed my mood,i always find something stupid to laugh at…now i realise that that was my brain’s automatic way of blocking out what i call pain.
Something happened tonight that changed me,my whole mental state. My dad hit me..not just hit but PUNCHED me. He misinterpreted something i said and took it as an insult, so then,he punched me. I must admit, im not the most respectful child,at all. But i NEVER thought my own father would punch me,as if i was one of his scumbag friends. Ive always […]