General

Here I am again, almost a year later…  Nothing has changed for the better and only has gotten worse.  I am beyond feeling sorry for my self,  I have not found any love in this world.  I have gone through every negative emotion I can think of.  Now my “bad luck streak” has lasted for  almost 8 years!  I am beyond suicide now,  my heart is only left with pain and hate.  My mother died 2 weeks ago,  I guess good things do happen.  Now I only can hope that this planet will soon be destroyed!  It is all I have to look forward to.  I pray […]

i have really bad acne scars and seeing all my friends hav great skin makes me really hate myself for being ugly i have to turn my face a certain way when i talk to them so they dont see my big scars

why do i feel all alone? why do i get used and treated like a tool? why me? i didn’t do anything to hurt anyone … well i tried not to but it always turns out in the end that im always in the wrong .. i don’t get a second chance i just get hate. It so cold and lonely here .. i wish i was free again ..

Life just sucks. So so much.

When I say I’m done. The people who don’t understand ask me what do I mean. I guess you could say when I say I’m done…I’m saying goodbye.

Today I kicked my children’s mother, I was angry I made my children cry. im a coward sitting under a noose that im trying to pluck up the courage to put my head through. but im torn I feel like I need to hug my boys before I say good bye …. im cold and confused I wish someone else would kill me

By my mid-twenties I have miraculously pushed away all of my friends and family in an attempt to be personally successful. I keep reaching these plateaus I have set for myself and find that there’s just less to look forward to, I’m never for a minute satisfied. Most would consider this a reason to keep striving but all I can think of now more than ever is just going back to sleep. I’ve gone from a warm, personable person to an analytical, self depreciating piece of shit. You keep telling me it’s going to get better and I never know how to tell you that […]

So I am really not coping right now, I think my boyfriend (been with him for 4 years) and I are going to break up. I am not sure if this is the right thing, but I can sense it coming anyway.

This is so hard to write.

He is my first everything, and I was wondering if you guys had any special tips you could give me, since a quick Google search doesn’t include mental health issues and you guys would understand that better.

I have severe depression, so I don’t know how I could ever cope with something so huge like this. I am not even […]

GOODBYE WORLD!

waking up another day,
puttin up with the pain.
wishing I had died in sleep.
wishin I had failed to breathe.
but shit happens for a reason right,
well I have a reason that I’m gonna die.
shit happens and this is my reason right,
i’m so fucking sick of life.

and even when things are up,
i’m always going down.
and even with some pick me ups.
I’m always fucking gonna drown!

So, let it rain
let it poor,
let the blood leak under the door,
let it rain,
let it pour,
blind the world,
and slip away on linolium floor.
let it hail,
let it […]

I go to bed thinking of him, I wake up thinking of him and it hurts so bad. I have to deal with my kids and put a happy face and try to do the mundane things I do. I want to scream all the time. I meltdown all the time. Ativan doesn’t even help. I’m a mess a pile of *** as he calls it. “I better get my shit together and push through this with a smile on your face” He says. Bullshit….I can’t even blink with out my heart hurting. Give him his space everybody tells me. Meanwhile I have no one […]

i tried killing myself on march 5th, but it didnt work. at first i was super upset that it didnt work but over time i got over it. i guess you can say a lot has happened since i last posted. I was cutting everyday and it was tearing my relationship with my boyfriend to shreds. i switched to a razor blade and i started cutting deeper. i wasnt stopping until i saw blood and a lot of it. i have divets in my skin now where i cut they arent even scars they are like valleys in my skin. im in a treatment facility […]

As I get closer to the day, I’ve realized something. I feel isolated. Whenever I talk about it, people tend to brush it off or they really don’t care. As I get closer to my attempt at suicide, I realize that I stop talking. No one seems to care or notice how different I have been lately. I’ve always felt alone, but more recently I’ve felt even more alone. Not even the people who pretend to love me seem to want to take a minute to ask how I am. I refuse to continue to live like this. I can’t deal with it anymore. I […]