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Ever had the feeling that you are the reason why others are not happy?.well i do
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I am tired. I am tired of searching. I am tired of being scolded at for being the way that I am. I am tired.
So, last year around my birthday (which is November 3rd), I became severely depressed. I told my mom about all of this, and she took me straight to my doctor. I was put on depression meds. Ive gotten so depressed that ive cut myself, and i want to kill myself.I can’t tell anyone, because if I get put in a hospital or something, my dad will find out and take me away and make me live with him in New York. Anyways, I want to kill myself because i feel like I’m a waste of space and life would be better for everyone else if […]
I don’t whine. I’m not here to get attention. I’m here to give you some perspective and because I need to get this off of my chest.
Everybody has problems, bad things happen to them, but I have just had so. many. I hear a lot of stories of peoples hardships and only once have I heard one that made me feel like life has not singled me out to be the waste bin for all leftover bad karma that doesn’t get dished out. Yet even still, I think I would kill to have had her life instead of mine.
When I was 5 I was abused. […]
You don’t know me,
you’re not even close.
You see that I’m happy,
But that’s what I show.
Yes, I’m smiling
But I am tearing up inside.
Yes, I’m laughing
You can’t see the tears I’ve cried.
You think , you like me
You are so wrong
You like the picture you’ve painted,
where I look strong.
My eyes, they water
I don’t really cry
My heart, yes , it beats
My hopes, they have died.
Yes, I’m alive
But I don’t really live,
You might think I wake up,
when I don’t really sleep.
I wait for the day
when this will come to an end
I wish I […]
They say it’s a selfish act. I say it takes strength.  You leave the ones who care behind.  But where is the caring when you are alive.  It is only when you are gone they show that they care.  How can that be sincere?
I’m here alive now and asking for help. Â I know the fault is mine, but I realise now that I’ve been slowly trying to get out of this useless life for a while now. Â I form no lasting relationships. Â I’m easily let down. Â I started gambling knowing that it is a one way street to destruction. Â Now I’m left with a debt I can […]
I don’t want to be here anymore. Full stop.
I’m sick of everything! I hate everything and I want to be gone.
It would be so much easier if I was 6 feet under.
Thinking about it, I wonder who would care?
Who would cry?
Who would shrug it off?
Who would miss me?
Who would be heart broken?
Who would be happy..?
I’ve never thought about it because I’ve never wanted to fucking die this much.
And truthfully, I couldn’t care..
I just want to be out of here.
I need reasons to stay alive. I can’t kill myself at the moment for a few reasons. When it does come time for me to go, I’ll go to heaven or hell when I’m old. What difference does it make if I choose an earlier time? Death is death, just like an apple is an apple no matter the colour. Once my reasons for living have run out, I’m gonna kill myself. Somehow. I’ll need access to successful methods, but I’ll have a few years to work it out. I used to not believe in euthanasia, now if you ask me to help you die, […]
We were engaged for 4 years, together for 6 years, have a 4 year old child together. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, this has been going on for about 4 years now. Starting new medications, ending them, then starting others… Ive been pretty good lately, but all of a sudden he becomes unhappy.. Yes i get all of the pain he went through pushing me to get well and happy, but i spoke about it. Within the past 2 weeks, we’ve had a break, pity sex, and he broke up with me today. I feel like I’ve been backstabbed. Like my best […]
While in was still in the womb, my dad used to abuse my mother. Yelling, hitting. Since as long as I remember, I cower from anything close to fighting. My mom also did drugs. Hard drugs. I was born premature. Two months premature. I was 1lb 7oz, born addicted, I also had a heart murmer. Maybe she didn’t want me? My mom went to jail for possession and use of the drugs. My dad was already in jail, fuck if i know why. I went in and out of foster homes up until I was 12. One family decided to adopt me. They […]
Crying Right Now For The People Like Me Who Are Giving Up. I’m Soooo Sorry Guys! I’m Sorry You Can’t Take Life Anymore Like Me. Just Know, You’re So Beautiful And I May Not Know You But You’re Worth It And I Love You So Much! I’m Sorry You’re Giving Up. I’m Sorry People Are Making Your Life A Living Hell. =”( See You On The Otherside..<33
“My legs are dangling of the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I’ll slit my wrists again and I’ll be gone,gone,gone,gone.
My legs are dangling off the edge, a stomache full of pills did’nt work again, I think I’ll put a bullet into my head and I’ll be gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.”
Bullet- Hollywood Undead.
Damn this life.
I’m writing another poem. the last one was actually part of a song I wrote…
anyways I’ll get back to writing and listening to hollywood undead
Peace.
I love drinking coke… A lot. So I’m trying to drink myself to death. It’s unfortunate that I told my doctor that I love coke so much, because somehow she knows that I’m trying to slowly die so it looks like a circumstantial death rather than a deliberate ssuicide. Now the family is trying to stop me from drinking so much coke, so I’m gonna look for another sneaky way to abuse it.
I don’t want to die, yet I hate this life as well. A few health problems, yet I don’t want to go to hell. Yet when I’m old I’ll go there anyway. Different […]
I Search Easy Ways To Kill Myself On Google All The Time. Hanging,Cutting, Drowning, Overdosing, Jumping Off Buildings Etc. But, Once I Think About It, Is It That Easy? No, No It’s Not! I Wanted To Be Someone When I Grew Older, I Wanted To Get Married And Have Kids. But How Is That Suppose To Happen When I’m Self Conscious About Everything!! Why Can’t It Be Easy As 1,2,3? And I’d Be Gone In A Blink..
I’mstupidI’mworthlessI’mawasteofairI’materriblefriendnoonelovesmeI’mdumbIshoulddieIfeelsorryforanyonewhoknowsmeI’mastupidexuseforahumaneveryonehatesmenoonewilleverloveme
Why can’t I just die…
How can I get him back?
We dated for 2 years.
I was dealing with my unmedicated bipolar disorder, so I was rather moody.
Around out 2 year, 5 month mark, I got a message from his best friend ( also my best friend at the time.) and he told me Isaiah was going to ignore me until I broke up with him or completely stopped talking to him.
I broke up with him. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
I was at my friend Ashley’s house.
We went to a party. Ashley and Isaiah’s best friend were there.
I got blackout drunk that night and ended up […]
Stop Telling Me Everything’s Gonna Get Better! If Everything Was Gonna Get Better, I Wouldn’t Be The Way I Am Now. Hurt. Depressed. Worthless..I Just Need To End It Hear. I Just Need Everything To Be Okay. Dead. If I Killed Myself I Wouldn’t Need To Worry About Anything. I Mean, No One Likes Me Anyways So What’s The Difference? Absolutely Nothing. This Is Just The Beginning..
My Name Is Cassandra And I’m 15 Years Old. I Sit Alone On My Bed, Looking At My Ceiling Everyday. Thinking To Myself That I’m Worthless And This Could, It Should Be The End For Me. I’m Picked On In High School And Usually I Just Can’t Take It Anymore. I Grab Blades, Knives, Whatever Is Sharp And Start To Cut My Wrists. Watching The Little Blood Coming From My Wrists. Being To Afraid To Go Deeper, To End My Life. I Think About Suicide All The Time. Maybe This Is It, Was What I Was Thinking. Maybe I Should Just End It Here! On […]
I’m torn to pieces right now. I’m going back to school in 2 days and I just wasn’t to kill myself already. I have SO much work to get back to and everyone at school hates me and says stuff about me and I’m just behind done. Home isn’t any better. And my self harm is gonna get worse i can tell. Goodnight everyone
I’m not like in the suicide mood but in the murder mood… probably I’m just being foolish and getting mad about something meaningless, but it fucking hurted.
And it hurted ’cause it was my younger brother the one who caused me the humiliation, it was his stupid fault that I had to go there and then when he was getting the carbage out he practically threw it at my face… may be I’m childish but it was so humiliating I just locked my room so I wont go out and kill him.