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u hurt
me. be greatful i tolerate ur ignorance. cherlyl.
u old woman. no i dont forgive u even though iknow how much ur hurting inside . honeslt y theres nothing u could have said that could have made me feel worse u useless *****
I wonder if someday I’ll get the courage to say I have depression instead of hiding it. I guess I’m just ashamed of it and afraid of the judgement I’ll get, Â has anybody here been open?. It feels like leading a double life almost by hiding this part of myself; faking smiles and all
Eating Disorders=hell
I want to cry all the time
I cant eat normally…ever
I lied/lie to everyone, saying I can’t have gluten so I didn’t have to eat…it works
I’m embarrassed and ashamed of what I’ve become
my family says I’m selfish and they hate me…
I hate me too
I’m hoping my E.D will kill me soon
so maybe I’ll be free
there’s too sides to me; i love nature, long walks, sitting next to a creek, i like hiking & going to the snow, i love laughing and feeling completely alive, i like to feel the rush of things like bungee jumping and jumping out of an airplane, i absolutely love art, traveling is one of the main things i like to do, i like being places where nobody knows me, & i believe life is very beautiful,… but this darkness has taken over me and made me into a bitter, lonely person.
I just wanted to take a break from reading and writing and say thank you to everyone on this website because without you I’d be six feet under by now, but you guys have given me hope. So, Thank you all.
i feel like i’m standing in the middle of people while their running past me, everything is happening so fast, lately the suicidal thoughts have been coming more powerful now i’m scared of what i might do to myself.
have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and bawl out crying? well this was me everyday for almost a year , now i look at my self for hours not shedding one tear, i though i could finally bare to look at myself but in reality i just became completely numb, over time i started losing my emotions i could no longer feel, i became so cold that i never let anyone love me because just the thought of someone actually liking me is imaginary, i push to many people away and never regret it. my pride is to high to tell someone […]
These past few days have been hell for me. I went on vacation with my family and well, my prediction was correct. It was miserable except when we did stuff like skiing and tubing. All the time in between was hell on earth. My sister was a ***** to me always being nasty and criticizing me and whenever she did the whole family joined in. So now i realize that i dont have a safe haven anymore. I have no support from anyone really. Anything i do is wrong. I have no friends except for the few i talk to in school but none that […]
well as start i never thought that what happened to me exceed others pain,always seemed to me meanless and i always say,for God sake why i’m depressed
my depression came from my past,cuz when i was a child i always been sexually abused by my uncles,i felt dirty and sick,i always tried to tell it to my family but they never cared(until now i’am still being abused)and like this i started to have feeling for girls because everytime a guy touch me i feel disgusted and sick but with girls it was the apposit of it,well i won’t say that i’ am lesbian it was just […]
I know I should be thinking about ending my life but all i do is fight right now… my arms are weak from the pain… does it hurt to dream again? maybe she and i could be happy in our misery…
will be writing again soon… maybe it will ease some pressure and i can put some thoughts in order…
2:17am 12/30/12
unhappy thoughts… wanting to withdraw from college already… all alone for new years…
Right now I would love too give up. I would love to fade away. I am done trying I am sick of living. I am not happy, I am sick of always having too grow up and be mature. I do my best too be a kid and have fun…. I’m not really that fun. I take things seriously half the time. I come on here and unwind a little bit of me is gone no more pretending like nothings wrong and I have too act okay. People who know me well enough can see right through me but most of the time I’m shut […]
I just want to run away from everything. Leave the past in the past and move on, but I can’t. I’m sick of all this pretending and masks being worn. I have already died years ago and now I’m just waiting for the rest of me to catch up.
Completely lost my identity to bipolar three years ago when my family pushed me into hospitalization and disability. had a shitty psychiatrist who overmedicated me to the point of not being able to function. so medicated that I couldn’t hold a job, lost three in one year. My career is over, as one of the jobs was in my career field and I was fired. I’ve tried 17 different medications. now i tried ECT and it has obliterated my short term memory and ability to feel anything. I have no desire to do anything at all. My mind […]
My neck still hurts
The mark is still there
The belt that I used
Is laying on the chair
The handle is broken
Ripped from the door
Determined to prolong
This unnecessary war
So close was my peace
So close was my end
But this life-saving handle
Played the part of a friend
A brush with death
To sober my mind
Ending all misconceptions
Of what I would find
I anxiously awaited
The slow fade to black
As the darkness engulfed me
It was too late to go back
But now I hold this piece of metal
Unsure of what to say
Thankless for what transpired
I didn’t want another day
So what is the purpose
I hate this world, I hate it!
I hate my parents with a passion and wish they woud both die and go to hell!
I hate this stupid health kick my mom’s been on.
I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate…well, not hate, just don’t love anymore, my boyfriend. But I don’t want to break up with him. It’s around the holidays! But I did handmake his present, so that will give him more joy in tearing them apart. I’m sure he will. Somebody please kill me now!
Well I’m 21 years old and seriously considering taking my life. I have no friends, have never had a relationship or even a chance to prove my worth to a girl. I stand alone day and night living this hell I call my life. I’m so depressed, frustrated and the feeling of hopelessness that washes over me is the worst. I feel as if this is it for me, this is going to be my life until they put me in the ground. The older I grow the more the loneliness and fear of being alone grows and it’s becoming a harsh realization that I […]
Im frightened of living, but also of dying.
This has been of my mind for a long time, but now i received a message that murdered me emotionally.
Help. I’m stuck between two things. Please… dont mention counseling. Ive tried it and it only brought me down more. My family and ‘friends’ think im okay again.
Im not.
Help.
Right now it’s nearly four in the morning and this is my 7th night sleeping late this week because of my insomnia . I’ve been really frustrated and angry these past few days and I usually don’t feel this way I’ve realized that it’s because I’ve been thinking a lot lately, with the new year approaching I feel very upset because a year has passed and my depression has gotten worse , last year I took time off from activities because I felt like there was something wrong and that the activities were no longer enjoyable so I wanted to take a break to focus […]