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I think i may have fully planned out my suicide if i ever try to kill myself.. ill post it all later.. too tired now, but will tommorow
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General
Not gonna make this Long cause well who wants to read a long boring sob story?exactly
UPDATE , okay well yea.i wasnt taking into account that my bodys immune system would go to shit like it is but yea im in the middle of some bullshit virus thing , dying  in thefreezing  cold hungry Oh yeah not to mention I started like tripping almost har to explain I guess?  Hell fucking no, thanks .’its safe to Say I failed. But I will be back and I will try again believe that lol
P.s. I truly with all my heart hoped it would work,lately my laugh has been […]
Didnt get a deskjob in the back where nobody sees me because of my appearences. (I am overqualified), I told my parents I didn’t want the job and they said I’m blablabla…
I know that alot of people have been through alot more then i’ve probably been through,(i’m only 13 of course). Here a undetailed story of my life.
I’ve been a cranky kid my whole life and i’ve never been a likeable person . My parents divorced when i was five or six. My mom told me we were going to sleep over at a apartment for a while but now that I think about its funny…. I think. I started to become a unlikeable child after that because of going through many random rages of anger. I fought alot with my little sister. During that time […]
hello everyone
I am tired to confront
the increasing stupidness and absurdity of modern society
the psychological violence which has torn my family apart, therefore my life
social inequality between human beings
others, I’ve had enough with pretending to be someone I’m not
distance, the fact that the love of my life lives on the other side of the world
constant frustration, depression, sadness and knowing I can’t do anything about it
the lack of understandment of people I talk to
myself, I wish I could be someone else
I wonder who I am, if my existence has a meaning, if life is worth the fight
I wonder why everything seems so shallow except the past
then […]
I think one of the problems i have, is that everything i feel is intense. If i am depressed, I will sink into a hopeless abyss that i can’t get out of, if i am happy (which isn’t often) i will be jumping off the walls. and being super nice and lovely.
Every emotion there is has such an effect on me. I think when it comes down to it, that is why i am SO unhappy all the time, because i am feeling unhappy with my WHOLE body… and i can’t stop it.
I watched a movie recently, called ‘Daydream Nation’, the main character Caroline pretty much […]
IT MAKES YOU HUNGRY!
I wish for everybody to have a good holiday and a safe and happy New year.
for all of you under 18 and have a bad home life, do the best you can with making your life the best you can. stay in school, get an education, learn from your experiences ,helping others actually helps you, be kind but stAnd tall. breath, stay calm. your not alone in this world. whatever your problem, there is someone out there with your same problem. you can overcome all obstacles, it’s your choice. hang in there, sanity is in the minds eye.
peace.
so scream, bleed, do what you need. say goodbye. will they mourn? will they cry? while they stumble you will fly. bye bye life bye bye sorrow. hello knife goodbye tomorrow. It’s time to part. strike your heart. and slip away. slowly fade. goodbye, good day. I fear i can’t stay…
Never fathomed this would be the path I follow
Never knew I could stoop so low
Only I and he who had been involved would know
Because then only such a reputation could grow
Initially simply fooling around with a boy
Just an experimental joy
Suddenly I become a constantly used toy
Innocence – destroy
Pride in decisions transfiguring to remorse
Once hopes and goals blow off coarse
And he uses plentiful force
To do what none other would endorse
Just thought it would help me from my already broken heart
But it all seems to be tearing it even more apart
Who can I go to who […]
Its me…..i’ve still been cutting….i’ve been cutting for 3 years now. And i cant stop. I dont know how to get help and i don’t know how to tell my parents. they found out before and supposedly am a lot better but i never really felt that way. Or maybe i did feel better but i can’t let go of my past and i never stopped cutting. I dont cut in my wrists anymore cause my mom got really mad at me the last time she saw it….she hasn’t been very understanding but then again i know its hard for a my mom to see […]
I know none of you want to hear this and I presume most of you will not listen to me but please try. Im begging you, do not give up. Death is not an answer. Suicide is the easy way out and shows no stength. You need to hold on. There is people who care about you and if not, I care.. Life is precious and there are hundreds of thousands of people who die every single day who didnt want to, who chose life but got it ripped from their grasp without a choice. The most selfish thing you could do is to kill […]
he doesn’t want me anymore.. no one wants me.. I’m not kidding if I can’t have him no one will want me. he was the only one willing to accept my flaws in life.. to accept my physical flaws. in fact he loved them! he fucking loved them.. he loved me but I fucked him over. I didn’t even want to. and now because of that I chose to leave the only one who would accept me for who I was and actually find me attractive. I fucked myself so I guess I can’t complain. I couldn’t even get anyone else.. plus he was my […]
Was so down. Felt like everything I worked hard for all became just wastes. Never been so sad hearing something said bad about me, but coming from someone who you look up to but doesn’t really know who you are, just felt so horrible.
Simply put… I am tired of feeling like I don’t belong. In fact, wanting to belong felt like the only thing I could believe in.
Up till this present moment in time, I have been a poser. That may not be the right word to use but it is true. I have lied about my feelings, my personality, and in general, my life. Now I won’t go into details about how I hate my life and nothing is working out, so, here is a rant for you.
Optimism is a false belief which many people face. I, being a teenager and a homosexual, have learnt this the […]
there’s always been this feeling inside me where its like i want to crawl out of my skin. nobody knows what i’m truly thinking or how i feel about myself everyday; MY LIFE. i’m known for being a happy girl and i guess its just this front i put up, but deep down… i don’t want to be here anymore. i feel like its such a selfish thought but im thinking it..and I don’t even feel like i have good enough reasons to end my life when i hear about other people who have it much worse than me. i guess i’m just weak
WEAK.
UGLY.
STUPID.
LAZY.
FAT.
nothing will […]
For as long as I can remember I have thought of suicide, even back in elementary… I had no friends until the 4th grade. Things were okay until i shit my pants in the 5th grade therefore once again becoming an outcast. No friends in high school even though it was a fresh start I was still too awkward to make friends. Even when the thoughts are gone or I think everything is going good, it comes right back. Why cant I shake these thoughts? Im a loser and a weirdo, I have no friends and no one likes me. The only reasons I havent […]
How do you really tell someone you’re in pain without it bothering them? Without making them feel useless for not being to help you? Normal activities will only take you so far. Should I return to pointlessly opening my flesh? How many OD’s til I get it right? When will this spit stay in my mouth? When will my body stop aborting itself? I don’t want to kick and thrash anymore. I don’t want to freeze in one state for minutes on end. I want my old life back. When I was a humorous person to be around, when I would laugh at myself even. […]
Hello, I’m 17 and engaged to a guy who beats me and his whole family i luv him but idk </3 also he lets everyone talk trash bout me he says im ugly and im a nobody ): i just wanna dye already so when can i plz help me tell me what is the fastest plz <3
I would say I made my choice, but I don’t think it was ever really a choice for me. I would choose my career every time. I choose success – and simultaneously unparalleled loneliness – every time.
God, I’m fucking lonely.
Hope?