General

  It don’t Make sense, I bust my Ass of just for him to have a Good Life, I cook I clean I get him clothes. I’ve been out for the past 5 days trying to get me shit straight (ID, Social security, Birth certificate Food Stamps) when it’s Hot. and yet u Still complain -__-  I just want to sit down for 10 damn minutes and Not worry about a single damn thing! u go and make YOURSELF dinner. And get mad that I didn’t eat. I Cook for. U ALL the time. it’s not fair that I have to be with a Selfish little […]

If i had the courage to just do it…i would….im dreaming about it, i space out and slowly wrap my hands around my neck and squeeze, my brother stops me half the time…i dont want help…i want a shoulder to cry on and courage to detach my soul from this Hell…

Before i begin, i would like to state that I’ve had depression long before i got together with my boyfriend. I dont know what to do . I feel like he isnt being honest ever about his ex. you know what hurts the most ? I can see it in his face that he seems to appreciate his horrible relationship with her than with me. this makes me feel beyond terrible. makes me want to hurt myself All i want to do is hurt myself in someway to make myself stop thinking or something. i still dont know why i always feel like doing it […]

I have been through hell and back for the past five years. As a college student I also work part time in order to earn some cash/experience at a medical job. I always thought I was a self-assured person until my part time job started to make me feel like ending my life. I had never felt that way before and I didn’t know how to deal with what I was feeling. I felt trapped and I felt like if I ever left that job people would just think of me as a quitter. The part that bothered me the most is that I […]

i hate it when i can’t sleep because i can’t stop thinking of the things i try to avoid every waking hour of the day… i hide from it and then at night i get attacked by all my pain and sadness…

I’m taking a class right now that requires me to write a persuasive essay on something that I’m passionate about.  I’m not really passionate about anything but I think about suicide most of the time.  That not really being a topic I feel like writing an essay about, it got me thinking further and I decided that, legalizing Euthanasia for terminally ill patients, would be a pretty controversial argument to present.  I would like to present it as being beneficial for the individual as well as society.  I am asking for anyone’s input on how they feel about this subject whether they are for it […]

why am i on the earth still: my bf, my best friend, and all my SP friends i dont wanna leaveXD
do i wanna leave the earth: FUCK YEAH
but no way do i wana leave all yeah. so yeah thats why im still aliveXD

˙ʎןʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp sbuıɥʇ ǝǝs   *Turn the screen*

This happened so fast. I finally have the will to live. I think I finally have enough will power to get myself out of this … It’s time for me to see things differently. See life differently. See my future differently. I’m tired of feeling this way. Enough with the pain. Enough with the tears. As much as I want my pain to stop, I don’t want my life to end. Instead of ending it, I’m going to change it. I have been feeling really shitty the last few days and I thank everybody that tried/did cheer me up. lol […]

Do you ever just wish you could stop breathing? Just cease to exist? I just feel no joy for life….I don’t feel happiness… I don’t really feel anything at all.  People look at me and think I’m doing better and I’m not. I’m basically lying to everyone and it kills me. I’m not better. I’m still cutting multiple times a day and most days all I can focus my mind on is death…. I haven’t felt this down in a while and I’m just not sure how to pick myself up.

I think I had a nervous breakdown Sunday night…. a couple things happened with my […]

i am so mad at my mom… she knows that i have depression and that i can’t stand it and yet she won’t let me take medicine for it… even my therapist said that it would be a good idea…. i guess i’ll suffer until i’m in control of my medical things.

I hate everything… i am not joking i hate the way i feel… i hate the way i think and what others think and say about me… most of all i hate my life… every part of it.

as i was wrighting a song today all things that i had pushed into a safe and locked it away somewhere to never be opened again….but as soon as i finished they all came flooding back and there was no way to shut then in that safe again…today was the first time i cut in almost 2 months… lately it seams that ive been closer to edge then ever before..its just like that nightmare i have every year on the first day of school… i just ran out of the woods everyones gone whoever was after us got them all im the last one left, […]

i hate how i get mad at the littlest things… someone can look at me wrong and i’m so mad that i’m ready to knock their heads off.

Tomorrow at 3 inthe morning Alberta time I have to face oneoff my worse fears…me and my family r flying to Ontario and I have a deathly fear of planes.. I’ve heard to many bad things about them. But we r flying to Ontario our flight leaves at 7 in the morning butim scared to go through security and to get on the plain.. My moms bf says that the plane istotally safe but im still scared to go on the plane idk wat to do…Knowing me ill probably freak out… Im scared to be on one airplane with lots of people idk….  idk wat […]

Last night just wasn’t a good night for me . I guess you could call it my first real attempt at suicide. Before I’ve only cut myself and have thoughts about suicide but last night I just went kinda crazy for no real reason. I guess it was mostly because I had my first day of school and my first day of cheer after two weeks of missed practices- needless to say I was stressed. I’ve nver taken more pills then I should but I’ve always thought of it as a way of suicide. So last night I took  20 pills- 8 Advil, 4 ibuprofen, […]

I love her, I love her with everything I have. I need her. But this guy and her are like, bestfriends. I told her Ive fallen for her, she doesn’t text back. I feel as if ,I feel as if I am in a dark, cold room. Trapped for ever. No windows, no furniture. I feel as if the world is against me. My friends, the girl I love, EVERYTHING. I can’t take anymore…

intense, this is intense, i havent felt this bad in a while. hope its temporary,damit

Just went to my school’s course advicer.wrap up s that.i might have to be on probation next session..truth s dat i just dnt gve a 4ck anymore.