General

People says that war is cruel and everyone deserves peace

but i say otherwise

during the warring era, people fights for their lives everyday, people discerns enemies and allies. While life is fragile it’s also shining brightly.

nowadays, most of the world is in the state of perpetual peace. The fighting still continues, but only within every human, we can no longer identify enemies and allies, most jobs no longer requires physical prowess since hard labor are being done by machines.

Humans keep getting weaker everyday, rather than evolving their physical body, they keep manufacturing things to lessen their burdens, while using tools is not a bad thing but […]

Death haunts me.

I’ve kids that I am close to and who I see regularly. A faithful and loving girlfriend. A loving family. A great job that I love. People who value me.

No one who knows me would believe the thoughts that I surpress.  The anxiety I feel cripples me. The emotions that I show are hollow. Guilt and self-loathing haunt me.

What I desire is annihilation. Numbness, which I partly achieve it through secret and not-so-secret drug use (alcohol, anti-depressants, diazepam, cocaine, weed, ecstasy, speed). Too many rely me. The only way I could express my true feelings would be through suicide. I’ve survived suicidal relatives, and cannot inflict […]

year after year, things never change
you find your way, i stay the same
blackened heart
dilapidated body
fettered in a cyclic whirl of hate
another year gone by devoid of love
how long until i find a way
a way to leave this place
please, please, please
on this day of celebration
i nominate death
though you wish me happy birthday
i wish myself a happy day of death
i’ve advanced a long way through the darkness

only to find the innumerable perpetrators of filth

i bow to the king of will restriction

the king of my death

i am

I know this is really selfish but i want to feel like the middle of someones world for just a second. Not any longer. I want someone to come up to me, put their arms around me and say “Hey, how was your day?”
Just once.

second post for today.

i am so tired and yet i tried to sleep, i couldnt. i sorta just lay there staring at nothing. closing my eyes hoping sleep would come over me. but nothing. i used to sleep so well. well better. i would just dirft off quickly and that would be it, nothing until my alarm went off the next day. now i get less and less. sunday night, i got 4 hours. monday, about the same, tuesday 2 hours and wednesday (now) i am just staring off into space. my sleep deprevation comes from being stressed and i can’t minimise it unfortunately. but […]

Seriously, what’s the point of living? Not suicidal at the moment, but really, why do we struggle to survive for?

back again. this actually helps. so went to work today. didn’t want to. not after yesturday. not after my boss yelled at me and embaressed me in front of everyone. i thought how bad can he be today. turns out, not bad. except that…. he didn’t acknowledge what he did yesturday. no apology no anything. i used to have so much respect for him. i looked up to him, he is an awesome vet and surgeon. and i respected that and him. but now i have none left for him. he treated me like crap and did not apologise or give a hint of remorse, […]

I can think of the Suicide Project as my Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr where I can actually open up abt Everything! without people thinking Im crazy of emo 😊

Terms like “Emo” and “Freak” make me go crazy. With the constant labeling as if I should be placed in a group with all the “Weirdos” whom conceal their depression within their bottomless souls. We are all different, with our own problems and concerns. So dont act is if we are “charity cases” or need “help”. Because Im sick of people acting as if Im wierd juss because I use a diffrent method of stress relief!..

i feel like a failaur to my mom. i had to drop out of high school because of my anxiety and depression problems. im always sitting at home alone, while all my friends are in school. and i feel worthless because of it. i feel like the screwed up child out of all my moms kids. im the only one failing at life and who is suicidal.. why shouldnt i just kill myself and take stress of my family? they all call me emo because i cut myself.. they dont love me…

If you are suicidal, or planning on ending your life, have you considered this method? What are your doubts/experiences and thoughts?
I’m interested to know what you guys think. And just talking to you all 🙂 I hope your day hasn’t been too difficult. I’m always up for a chat. Though I am suicidal, I am more than willing to talk to you if you are having  a bad day <3 as Ironic as that sounds when I talk about suicide.

It’s late, so I apologize if the following is confusing to read. I feel trustworthy of the Suicide Project community, so I have this proposition. I want to start a correspondence with a woman on this site. I am a man, and a recent college graduate. This is not a relationship request; I just want a conversation between someone of the opposite sex. I know this is unorthodox, yet it may be perfect for providing not only me, but my correspondent with some well-overdo stress relief, and a confidence boost.

The idea struck me the other night as I was dealing with a case of food […]

Life isn’t even worth it anymore…I hate the new me. I can’t even explain the way that I feel right now. Just felt like letting a little bit out..

I am so tired. I feel like I have been in a fog my whole life and recently I have been stuck in an introspective nightmare loop that never ends. My family hates me, I have recently split from my husband, and now I have some strange illness which nobody can diagnose. I was told it is a mental condition due to sexual abuse. My husband now lives with my family and is telling them all sorts of crazy shit about me so now I am bombarded with hate mail on a daily basis. I have sought treatment which is not helping and I am […]