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All of those ominous thoughts again; all over again. I won’t even try to verify if this is a relapse. I’ll know when I know.
I lost my dear sweet son this morning. His body gave out on him sometime during the night. He was depressed, but lately seemed to be doing a bit better. He’d laugh, send me a silly text. Just little things…little things that mean even more to me on this awful day than they did just yesterday. We won’t know for a while what caused his death, but I wanted to express to all out on this website the pain that my baby’s dealth has caused so many. He was only 23, and such a bright, funny guy. He had a heart of gold; which was probably one thing that made life harder […]
way i want to end my life i have lived all my life with learning and
spelling disability all have for the rast of my life been suffering
from depression im on a diabily pencehn all its had for be to do
things like making my meals keeping my self clean any many more things
been like this all my life and i am so tired of going on like this so
my only way out of it is to end my life I have been wanting to end my
life for over 10 years and fell its time to and it all all be […]
“Destroy your primitivity, and you will most probably get along well in the world, maybe achieve great success — but Eternity will reject you.
Follow up your primitivity, and you will be shipwrecked in temporality, but accepted by Eternity.”
Ah, it’s not going better.. 7 days. 7 days without my best-friend and lover… 7 days..
I’m just 7 days without him and i can’t imagine more 80 years like that… Why we couldn’t just be happy?
You guys are speaking here about wish to die and so on, but i am sorry… i am hurted as hell and when i type here i feel like i talked with someone…
Now, when i don’t feel any anger, black minds and so on – all i do is remembering our perfect moments..
And it’s not good, because im going back to suffer again. But the good thing i’m not blaming […]
I have spent the last two weeks in bed. I have no desire to get out of it. I feel like i am dead but still alive. I am worthless and dont deserve anything. I was the last born in a family of five. My parents had me late in life. My brother who was twelve when i was born was murdered. My brother had a friend that was dealing drugs and setting fires. He was going to testify against is fromer friend. His family had my brother killed. He was struck a car late one night and died of massive head and chest. It […]
I am 11 years old and i know i am going to die, you can try to talk me out of it, hell if you make me find a reason to live then i won’t jump of the 17 floor roof terrace. You know what, i’m scared, terribly terribly scared. Do you know why, because after death there is nothing, nothing at all! Just a bleak empty nothingness, I hope there is something after death. I wish with all my heart that there is something after death, but sadly there is nothing. This is me, signing off, maybe someone will read this and care, hell, i […]
I tried to invest my 401k myself (some say gambled) and lost allot and now I cannot retire. I lost my job and my wife diagnosed with cancer could not get healthcare except Cobra which ends soon. I did get a job recently and my wife should get healthcare if all goes well. My son has two DUI”s with drugs will go to jail at a young age. I am having terrible depression anxiety coping over the 401k money loss as I could end up penniless if the new job does not go well whereas I could have retired today or just had […]
some times I think I’m crazy. My mental status has been smashed into a million pieces. Some times I wonder if it’s normal for ur family to mentally abuses u. Some times I even think I deserve it or that it is ok for my moms husband to sexually abuse me. I’m afraid of the dark, I jump and shake when they are near, waiting to be scolded and told how worthless I am and how fat I am. How much I eat or don’t eat. when to sleep and how long. when I forget to do the dishes I’m told On how retarded I […]
http://youtu.be/2UJOl1P4KQw
Hello Everyone, My name is Joe. I’m 15 turning 16 this year, I’v already made up my mind so please just listen to what I have to say. tomorrow (sunday) I’m going to jump off the roof of a 8 storie building. I’v had enough and I’m tired, very tired. I just wanted to say that I hope it all works out for the best for each and every one of you. I dont want to sound like a hypocrite but whatever problems you are facing at this moment will end, maybey not some time this week but you have to tough it out. I […]
http://youtu.be/2UJOl1P4KQw
this piece is so relaxing enjoy
I’ve done all my preparation; house is in foreclosure, no job, no family, absolutely no friends, chronic health issues, I’m on 5 prescription meds, I’ve got a loaded 12 gauge shotgun, nothing but an old dog to leave behind. I need help pulling the trigger, it must happen, I’m done!
My mom just took her own life back in july and i am the one that found her. I dont know what to think of this. and i have a really difficult time understanding why. I am going to counseling and it helps.. I just feel down a lot of times. I have thought a little bit about doing what my mom did. But i dont think i could every put someone through the pain i have went through… My dad is also in jail now.. So Help me understand and advice? Please.
My life is Shit. It always has been. Its been one thing after the other. I’m done. I just want to know how to hang my self passively without alot of Pain. I have some drugs and alcohol I can take to give me the courage. I just dont know how to do it from a door knob or something. What would be the easiest and quickest way. I dont want to fuck it up.
I wake up every morning with this constant desire to die. It just feels wrong to be alive. First words out of my mouth are “I want to die.†It’s become my mantra, for lack of better words. I’ve felt this way since I was about fourteen. I’ve been to therapy and talked with counselors and psychologists but my need to die can never be unearthed. I get asked about sexual abuse and trauma, there is none. I get asked about physical abuse, there is none. I’ve had a great life, great family, people who love me […]
This year and last year have been hard.
I found out a couple of  horrible things about my birth parents and family.
I’ve spiraled down ever since that and I’ve relapsed with cutting.
I’m extremely insecure and I hardly ever go out in public except for school.
I’m a shy, secretive person.
It’s hard for me to stick up for myself.
I let people take advantage of my kindness.
I hate how unassertive I am.
I bottle up my feelings because I can’t express them to people.
I’m ashamed of my scars.
I believe I’m too emotional at times.
I’m constantly down on myself because it’s normal for me.
At my old school I was on the swim […]
I have an insatiable desire to watch myself die. But I know that’s impossible, just as ignoring the thought is.
I’m sick of crying
holding to your words that I begin to doubt.
Wondering to myself in silence
my darling, will you come back?
Why, like my life you made so colorful,
you causes so much pain to my soul?
Do you understand,
a little bit of that pain?
You made me a melancholy person.
Don’t you see?
Why don’t you see that
for you I kill and die?
Do you want proof?
Do you want me to die for you?
You act that way a while longer.
You’ll see how you’re killing me.
And I’m left kill.
You are the deadliest poison that pollutes my soul.
But if I leave you […]