General

This is my first time here, and all I want to say is that I want to die, but I don’t want to hurt myself. Last year my dog, my grandma and my dad died, it was like hell. It’s hell. I know how stupid it could be if I try to kill myself and fail. Once I took lots of pills because I was raped, I didn’t know how to ask for help and my mother just told me that I was a ***** and I wanted to be raped. I fell in love with my brother, he asked me to live with him […]

I wasn’t meant to be here, on this earth. I don’t want to be, not anymore. That’s ok though, because this isn’t where I belong. So when I leave, I’m going to find my way home, go where I really can be happy. I can’t wait to get there. I know when I arrive they’ll be happy to see me. They’ll ask where I’ve been all this time, and I’ll tell them about how I took the wrong exit on the interdimensional highway. And then we’ll be together.

I’ve never posted here before, I feel too horrible to write much about myself yet.. But I might be pregnant which will give me something to live for….but I won’t know for a week or two still…so right now, I will slice up my arm, wear long sleeves and listen to music to try and feel better…augghh ftw -_________-

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me. I wish I was of thoses popular girl were they have. Evrything when they want it and how they want it. I wish I had the money the clothes . They look at me and laugh. I have acne thick eye brows black hair never wears make up . I’m a kinda girl the would wear sweats before anything else. Walk a mile in my shoes and let me walk a mile in yours. Come see how it feel to be teased all day because of this and that. Come. And I ll show you the tear I shed […]

so tommoro i have to go back to school at home im trying to keep a smile on my face when im at home but really inside i just feel so alone i just dont think schhool is for me i hate going im always scared to get up in the morning and going to 1 2  3 4 5  6 period eveeryday. dealing with people around that i know are better skinner than mee i hate seeing that:( i just dont know what to do in my back of my mind its telling me cutt it out of you but i kno thtas bad […]

I’ve always had that feeling like you wana die. Yeah you ever had that feeling. Well I do everynight of my life. I can be happy depressed or mad I still wana die. I hold a knife in my hand and fall sleep like that what goes through my head the most is…… will I be missed? But my question hasn’t been anwsered yet. Will I? I write in my notes on my phone what I’m feeling everynight this is what it says.
Depression depression drepression depression drepression depression drepressiondepression drepression depression drepression like I can’t hellp. What people see in my eyes is a […]

So I haven’t really wrote in a while . A lot of things have happened since than. Me the boy is fightin . I wish my parents didn’t try to make me perfect I’m just me can’t you see. I ain’t perfect and I’m not trying to be so why should I walk around acting perfect that’s not me

What my parents what me to be(perfect):
A prep
Good grades
Good looking boyfriend
Well known
Liked by many
Finish school
Get a job
Have kids

What I am now(unprefect):
Hangs out with the drugies
Okay grades
My boyfriends is cute
Well known for being a whore
Everyone […]

So along the years I’ve been dealing with dysthymic depression, avoidant personality disorder and probably some type of anxiety. It’s been hard to overcome these things without meds or counseling but i’ve kind of done it…

Well I found out I was pregnant about two to three months ago, just as my relationship with my parents was starting to be okay again. Mu boyfriend who I’ve been dating on and off for three years broke up with me the same day I found out I was…but in the morning. I found out I was pregnant in the evening. He and I had been broken up for a couple […]