General

If anybody needs to talk, just loney or needs to vent. please feel free to email me at thelightinthedarknes@hotmail.com.

i am a trained crysis counciler. i was depressed for years and nearly killed myself twice. I have been where you been. there is a way back.

It took me along time to get better, but i DID get better.

So yeah, ill help anyone who wants it. email me anytime.

and if you havent signed this pettion then please do. it takes 20 seconds/ literaly. no strings or spam i swear. its for illness awareness.

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/dysautonomia-awareness.html

if you need help email me anytime.

Peace. 🙂

Today you guys deserve to smile sad or not O: you guys deserve it. Even if you didnt do anything today i know you really need it. You are all beautiful dont you disagree its a compliment and ya need it. So today smile cause everyone on here has a beautiful one Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

^/)^ (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

Okay so, does anyone here believe in 2012? if so, what do you think is gonna happen?

i think that, if there solar storm thing doesn’t happen, i think there’s gonna be a flood from the south and/or north pole

pinching up the skin pushing the safety pin in over the bone bloody knuckles.  burning the safety pin in what is an attempt at sanitation piercing the skin. straight into the arm piercing pain. through the skin holding back precious blood. how do the bloody holes fill the ones in my mind where i hide from the truth. meet the boy with bloody knuckles he might just know how it feels to want death

I don’t want to share my feelings, my stories, my trials and tribulations… I just want to say ‘thank you’.  I say thank you because the ‘read this first’ page that popped up when I typed in to google “I WANT TO DIE”, has given me another day of life (misererable or not) Im planning on making it through till tomorrow and that makes the little ‘i want to live’ voice a little bit stronger.  Thats all.  So, to whom ever… thank you. ~D

I came really close today.  I methodically loaded the gun.  Hands steady as I loaded it.  I wasn’t hesitating.  I really thought that i was going to go through with it.  It was almost like I was working in a trance.  Going through the rehersed motions.  I clicked the safety off and steeled myself to do it.  But I couldn’t pull the damn trigger.  I just couldn’t do it.  I looked around and sighed and realized I had failed again.  I really don’t understand what the fuck is going on.  My friends are jokes and my school is a synonym for misery.  The only solace […]

I don’t know if it’s a moment of weakness or what but today I reached out and told a trusted person that I am depressed and suicidal. I asked for help and for a referral to a therapist. Part of me wants help, part of me still wants to die. Telling this person wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be though I do worry about how me might perceive me from now on. I guess I can’t control that, right?
I don’t know what will happen from here. Though I have the name of a therapist I’m not sure I will make the […]

if you feel like doing it think about how extreme it is the act of destroying yourself and going in to an unknown that actually could be worse. think about it.

Ok so, i dont know what to say but I just gonna like try to explain this;

uhm.. I gonna die on saturday. I gonna kill myself. Seriously.. I cant handle anymore.. and there is this party on friday and that is gonna be the party of all time! the last party ever. So I gonna like say goodbye to everyone on the next four days.. I just planed it all! I dont thik I am aloud to how so you guys wont know, haha. sorry about that.

I dont know whats gotten in to my mind.. but I think that this is the goodbye to suicideproject.org […]

Well I tried suicide by dehydration over the last few days, I made it 4 days and finally couldnt stand it anymore… I am so frustrated because I was so close but yet so far from finishing it off…. I guess its time to buy the book that gives you ideas for a peaceful exit…. Why is it so damn hard to just get done and over with!

It’s amusing how once you have more or less definitely decided to die perception of the world so subtly shifts.

I had something of a (teensy) epiphany earlier today. A ragey thought along the lines of ” fuck the mouse broke again I bought this one two months ago I really can’t afford to waste money on such pointless expenses right now” immediately followed (as far as any thought can be said to “follow” any other at least) by “it won’t matter when you’re gone anyway” .

It won’t indeed. It hit me today but looking back this kind of thinking has been going on for […]

I give my all but it is never enough to make everything okay
You may constantly break my heart but I’ll still love you anyway

I tried again tonight, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I was just laying there beside the train tracks, having a panic attack. My boyfriend kept calling over and over but I didn’t want to hear his voice. I ran away from my house, so my grandma called him thinking I was with him. He wouldn’t stop calling and was scared, and driving around looking for me. And I knew he’d come by the train tracks, and I had 10 more minutes til the next train. I eventually just started walking home cause I knew I couldn’t do it. I’m too big of a […]

i want to watch you die
i want to see the incorporeal essence
i want to feel your pain
i used all of mine up
i have none left
i am truely empty
i want the joy of watching you die

sometimes i think im all alone.. everyone says ima slut. i feel so alone at times its like no one cares.. im 15..im tired. im tired of waking up in tears dreading the day cause all the day if full of drama and crap and soo much more.. will the world just stop.. and see the happiness and forget the drama for a little while.. please its killing me

the one man who would’ve cared about me was my dad and hes not here anymore. every relationship i’ve had has just turned to shit cuz i cant get a damn decent boyfriend. im so tired of being used and thrown away. i can never let myself even like someone again, let alone love. ever. cuz i know exacty how it will end. im a fuckin saint in my relationships, according to other men who i’ve talked to about it. and i know i have cuz i never fuckin ask for anything or expect shit and im so sick of getting shit on for it. […]

i cant stand this shit. this is ridiculous. i eat when im not hungry cuz it makes me ‘feel better’ which is so fuckin stupid. im know im fuckin ugly even though people tell me im beautiful. its usually men and i know they only have one goal so i dont fall for that shit anymore. i hate my skin color, my hair, my chest, my stomach, everything. i hate it. i dont know why god made me if i have such an ugly useless body. im 5’7″ 135lbs and not in shape so i look really bad and i dont know why […]

the tense feelings the blade the it happens blood seeps to the surface then drops down off the skin.

the ripe feeling of split skin the sight of the kuts.

the pierce of a needle. the pain setting in after hours in your body.

alot of us increase our pain to decrease other pain.

so slowly we go insane loosing the grip with reality.

a life made to last forever and we victimize ourselves how does that help

death and distruction is still that very real.

a boy dies of toxic over dose.

a girl dies of strangulation.

a mother escapes in to death.

a father escapes worry into an unknown life after death.

how do […]