General

who ever said high school was the best time of their lives should be taken out onto the street and shot. i told everyone the truth. im suicidal and i hate being alive. they all thought i was just angry. cutting seems to be becoming very poplar in my town. my friend nick cuts scittles cuts my ex cuts my cuzin cuts. i used to cut my bio/mom cut, her sister cut. god im so sick of just living. their always telling me cheer up carla find something that makes u happy and stick with it. now that they all know the truth they look […]

I hurt myself today

To see if I’d still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that’s real

I look at myself, at my life, and then I compare it to my friends. You see, I actually have good friends. I don’t have a ton, I could never throw some huge party or whatever, but I have 5-10 people I can just rely on and I think they’re really good people. Then there’s me. I don’t really bring anything to the table. I’m not funny, I’m don’t do awesome things, I’m not good at anything. I just don’t get it. I feel like I have no identity. […]

idk, maybe this wont work. tonight a bit after midnight I’ll do it. I’ll kill myself. Sorry everyone. Im gonna write four letters:

1. to my bestfriend (the one that tryed to kill herself)

2. to my other bestfriend

3. to my mother and father

4. to like everyone (the rest of the family, school, friends, etc)

if you havent read my story and you want to here ït is:

1:http://suicideproject.org/2011/10/can-someone-kill-me-please/

2: http://suicideproject.org/2011/10/the-rest-of-my-life/

3:http://suicideproject.org/2011/10/ok-3/

I dont want to write the story over and over again so there you go! hehe, wish me luck! If I regret and choose to not do it, ill write here again, if not. Goodbye<3

And btw; this site helped me!

  Why are you angry with me mama?

I told you a story….Of  a boy and his friend who liked to play with his baby sisters. He never touched me mama. He touched the others. I thought it was ok. I cried, I wanted you to stop treating your son like god. He isn’t perfect. You left me. Two months later you came back… To send me away. I was on a plane. Crying by myself. You left me in Arizona. I didn’t know who they were. I cried. That pain. I will never forget it mama. But why, why are you mad at me?

I […]

Written by a 14 year old.

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see…

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

The game of life is hard to play
I’m gonna to lose it anyway
The losing card I’ll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn’t hurt when […]

Losing my mind in a composed manner… Like being beaten with a strait face or walking over the embers of a fire feeling nothing but shame. As though making love to melting velvet, the touch of a man, couldn’t bring me life again. Revenge is painfully pleasant, I would dig two graves for a taste of it. Lay down willingly.

so i have been battling my life for the past 8 years. tonight is the night i say goodbye. im done. im tired and feel that i am ready.

Oh beautiful eternal sleep
Far beyond my reach
An end to all the suffering
Oh beautiful eternal sleep

Oh beautiful eternal sleep
a slowly fading dream
A lesson learned, love undeserved
Yet I still desire
that beautiful eternal sleep

If you must kill me.I don’t mind.Painful or painless.I don’t care.You have caused the hurt now it’s your duty to get rid of it.Oh wait you’re the innocent.I’ll play the evil girl who kills herself again because “some fake reason”I’ll leave behind another note telling you I love you all (I hate most of you).You’ll tell everyone “We never saw a change in her we thought she was happy”.You’ll try to remember all the good times because I couldn’t.Dig deep but there still will be none.I’m kidnapped by my thoughts and I love it.