General

I never though cutting would be so addicting, but blood so beautiful
Deep marvelish red, it’s quite pleasurable to watch the blood escape from the cut and rush down my arm as if it was trapped under my skin prision for eternity. I’m really quite envous ,as i wish to escape

I don’t really feel depressed anymore, per se.  More that I lack the desire to live.  Everything is so pointless.  College is a waste of time.  This is my fourth year of college and yet the only useful information I’ve learned could be compounded into 2 or 3 classes.  Everything else is mostly just a repeat of high school (except easier sometimes) or useless trivia.

In theory, I have friends.  But in practice?  Let’s just say I haven’t had more than 5 minutes of conversation with any of my so-called friends in the past, oh, 2 months about.   And although it would be nice to […]

So I am new here to this site, and am spiralling down hill. I have tried to take my own life a number of times before, but went on pills and saw doctors and all sorts. Things never really seemed to be any better. recently things are just getting worse and worse, like my mind is in over drive as to what to do and where to go, should I shouldn’t I.

I’m not going to make out that is it, I am going to do it, because I am not at that point, but I am getting closer and closer to a breaking point, I […]

Here I am, inspired to write again after two seconds after the last post I just put up. Here’s an argument? Is suicide really immoral??? is it really that bad to suicide. Is it considered selfish? (Directions to do: Read this paragraph and comment. Then proceed to next part, if you are just browsing and won’t comment then go ahead.) 

You may feel guilt that it is. You may think others will suffer. They will suffer but is it wrong to do it?

I ain’t a religious person, I am an agnostic atheist, so as a matter of speaking, if God made humans and the devil made […]

So many Op’s from the early days of SP. Then there’s the new OPs that I once read their amazing posts. That was before all the new faces. Now there’s posts that have song lyrics, my last words my last post on facebook (ex. darkblue) I’m still sad that lolfailz agitated the need to take the pills. 5000mg and 2000mg more I remember. He will slit his wrists at the sane time she dies. He says he made a lil kid kill herself (age 13). Well I think rogue is slowly creeping back in my brain. (he is silently whispering to me… Influencing my thoughts). […]

The pain i feel is unbarable. the person i loved cheated on me with one of my teammates. they are now together and they rub their relationship in my face. i thought one was a friend and the other my love. i was wrong. I hate going to practice seeing their relationship. they have no regard of my feelings. I would quit, but i love the game to much and i love my teammates. however, all of this has pushed me back into my hole. I wanted to marry this person but instead im now thinking about what is wrong with me? why is it […]

I literally have nothing to do now. Dislocated my shoulder in the first game of the season, and hockey is the one thing that takes my mind off everything, the one thing I truly love doing. Now I can’t play for 12 weeks. I also can’t play my instruments, my xbox or go running. The three other hobbies I have. Fuck. This sucks. It’s also half of the $500 I spent for the season. Not that I really care though. I have too much money anyways. I have no need for it. But I’ve got my codeine now and I’m pretty high on it right […]

Bitter feeling, freezing
Question? Life without reason
sleep without dreaming
Some touch for feeling
Others touch for pleasure
I, numb touch in curiosity
No one knows the unknown
Brings fear to their faces
The bright light when your eyes awake
Faded, faded into dark blue
Inevitable tears, soaked
been swimming in a drowning pool
Last breath, unconcious, death

The end to end.

I’m 14 years old. About a year ago I started to get depressed. I have no idea why though. I think it’s because of my home life. Whenever I get hurt my mom  and dad tells me to suck it up you’ll live. Even if it hurts for weeks and it swells up. My mom will call me *****, slut bunny, and whore. My dad makes me practice softball everyday. My sister threatens to kill me and cut me daily. Lately, I’ve been crying a lot and having suicidal thoughts. I’m starting to get tired of life.

Deeper deeper, love can kill
But so can loneliness, if the balance is unstill
It quite, so silent in a closed off room
But safe, from world harm
but you dream of the cold blade on your skin
War ,self inflicted
Battle wounds from your worse enemy
Lie on your skin, as solum love run deep
Blood drips from your entity

it feels strange, but a release
You cry, as they walk away and leave
im hurt, these wound are still fresh
Your selfish, disapointment from the rest
But please , don’t leave me with my enemy
Im weak, she want me dead
The pain wants […]

I need help, some sort of guidance, some sort of hope… I’ve been sad for so long that I don’t know how to be happy. I don’t want to wake up and face the world – I hate it.  The constant crying and hopelessness.  Yes I’ve been to counseling, yes I’ve had the meds and yes I’ve been to the crazy house.  Nothing sticks.  Always go back to the sadness.  It truly it not worth feeling like this… not only to myself but to others either.  No one wants to be around me and I don’t blame them.  Who would want to be around such […]

among the many people who joined SP. There was life sucks thin you die (still here and well) blackqwerty (deceased? Was an asshole but had a brain problem) jamiejajamie (whom is well and I text her every day) and about 5 others but there’s always new people now who come say they will die and do it and that’s it… This is for coping with suicide not for last regards. Has anyone read the actual original posters and how they must have been uncomfortable about the deed of typing up a story of suicide?

Nycolle!!! Why don’t you love me back!!! I am madly in […]

Even when I am cremated and scattered, gone. I’d like to leave a creation or drawing, SOMETHING with a note for them all to remember me by.

what will happen to us? Since we all want to die. What if we did it. Commit suicide that is. What happens if we all succee in it? Where will we all go. Will we see each other ever again. Do you really think we will be at the same place. The people we meet here. At SP what will happen here. The website where we all met. Since we all want to die… will SP ever be the same. Without the people we known here. Where will they go? Where will they be at? As we all rot underground or cermated into ashes. Are […]

and as many times as i’ve told you.. you STILL didn’t see it coming. you’re oblivious as i’m bleeding. as i’m screaming out in pain. and i’m standing in the rain. why? why? i’m waiting for the train. to come and take me away. and you’re obvlious. as many times as i’ve told you.. you STILL didn’t see it coming. and as i’m laying motionless. you’re standing there emotionless. and ignorance is bliss. you’re oblivious..

How do you tell a loved one you want to die?

In my experience, even telling someone that you’re feeling a bit down usually earns some negative judgement.

“What do YOU have to be so depressed about?” “Stop being so dramatic.” “Just look on the bright side.” “Find a hobby or something to do”

No, they don’t realize it’s very possible to lose interest in everything you once loved.

Even if you’re just a burden.

Much like my aunt.

My aunt is 48 years old and suffers from Schizophrenia and HIV. She has cost the family a lot of money and friends. She is a burden on my mother and grandmother.

Every […]

I find myself day dreaming about ways to die. what methods would look? what the person that finds would see and how they would react. I know that suicide is selfish and a horribble thing to do to family and friends but i dont care. I dont care anymore. I have been thinking about suicide since the age of 14 and im 23 now. So many times i tell myself life will get better soon and the hell that i am in wil surcome and i will be free. this has yet to happen and i just keep going through a battle with myself and […]