General

I wear dark hoodies during the summer because I’m to self concious to do otherwise.
Yes mom, I know exactly where those cuts are from, I put them there.
The entire year you tried to convince me you wheren’t a douchy hipster, I didnt believe you because I liked you too much, I don’t like you anymore and I now realise that you really are just a douchy hipster.
The most hurtful words anyone ever said to me hurt me more then they should have.
I always feel like people are talking about me or hate me more then they actually do.
I lied […]

sI am a walking disease.
If I’m willing
I will drink a cup of bleach.
If I wasn’t allow to teach
then throw me a rope.
As I teach myself
to hang from a beam.
Was it a dream?
to be a walking anorexia.
A human who can’t feed herself
properly to perfection.
Was not eating an infection
that consumes my everything.
I am a walking disease
who can’t be trusted by a knife?
Is this a way of life?
That I have scars
that should be
put behind bars.
Or could I jump
in front of a car.
Yes I do have a problem

I just wanted to say, that there are people out there who have encountered  and overcome gay bullying!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/11799817

Anyway god—the cosmic consiuness understand your pain very well. He will except you back home, if this is what you really want. I have a feeling we will meet ourselves on the other side. My own plans are going along just smoothly. My backround is a little different then yours tough;

http://nazret.com/blog/index.php/2009/09/14/ethiopian_children_exploited_by_us_adopt

http://nazret.com/blog/index.php/2010/06/15/ethiopia_man_charged_with_child_sex_abus

I was hoping i could stop you. To try to talk you away from this, because your so YOUNG, and you have most of all a LOVING family…something i NEVER had! I was born dead(not breathing)to begin with. […]

well, over a week ago I met another girl on this website, we started e-mailing and stuff, she’s really nice and has a really sweet spirit if you get to know her. I consider her as a close friend even though I don’t know her in real life. she used to post stuff on this site, but she said it wasn’t for her since people haven’t noticed her missing. she told me a few nights ago that she was going to try and kill herself, and I haven’t heard back from her in a few days. I’m really scared she tried to commit suicide and […]

Everyday Is Exactly The Same

Love this song. It knows me so well. Just hear the lyrics and might understand what its saying O:

Oh man. Meeting him in less than a few days. Why am I so nervous. I don’t LIKE him. I CAN’T like him. Too many complications.

Fuck! I really can’t do this again. Keep fucking liking people I can’t let myself like.

Stupid teenage hormones.

No one can change who we really are.
We have our own Mind
& we Make our own Choices.
I may not be perfect, But no one is.
I do thing’s the way I want to.
I love who I am.
yesterday I realized, You can’t let anyone judge you for the mistakes you make.
What you do Is your responsibilty.
I honestly could care less of what anyone thought of me.
I am who I am and No one is going to change that.
I want to take a stand in this world.
So I’m Stupid?
I got raped when I was 11 & […]

I haven’t posted in a while. I have been actually seeing my friends. Leaving the house. To be honest just trying to get out of my own brain. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years in February and just heard that he has a girlfriend, a business up and running and is doing well. I do not regret breaking up with him and I do not want him back but it really makes me question it all. Why wasn’t he like that when he was with me? And why don’t I have it all worked out now? I could potentially grow old alone […]

i just want say a huge THANK YOU to all of you post here. This has been a life-long struggle, and just having this forum and you folks has been a great help to me.
I’m am by no means done fighting, and knowing you all are there for me to express these turbulent feelings too helps me to keep my head in the fight. My heart seems to have given up long ago so a logical approach is all I have left. When the illogical and irrational thoughts creep in it helps me to tell you all.
I hate that y’all are struggling too, […]

I’ve tried 3 times. The first one I took 16 sleeping pills. The 2nd I tried to drowned myself. The 3rd…I slit my wrists. I survived. I wanted to. This thing is like a disease..I want help but I don’t want to end up in a mental home..

i don’t know how to survive anymore.

i cannot live this life.

i cannot stand this pain.

i can’t do this.

Continued from: here.

Letter didn’t go so well. I threw too many complaints at him at once, completely blindsiding him. But I had no other way to get it out. I was hoping this could open an avenue of discussion between us and we could be more comfortable around each other. Today… the next day… I feel like I’m choking. I was fine all day until he got home from work. He acts like he’s walking on eggshells around me. He says at dinner, “I would tell you about my day, but I’m not allowed to talk about anything negative.” … I had […]

ever since I realized how hurtful people’s words can be, I have hated myself. I always will, that will never change.

I know there are people in this world who truly love me, somewhere down in them, even though they don’t really show it. I’ve thought about committing suicide on one of my birthdays, I think it would be really cool to die on my birthday. wake up, get a rope, go to the living room, and hang myself before anyone else gets up. it’s perfect. but my birthday is so far away, ughh.

I always imagined who might be at my funeral, maybe some friends, relatives, […]

Suicide is what i crave
Suicide is always on mine mind
twenty-four seven.
Its something that i need
desire even.
Its all i really want
for my birthday or Christmas.
I dont need anything
except suicide taking me away.
I crave it like a desirable sweet
we cant somehow have.
I cant controll myself,
its like an eating disorder
that i cant conqure.
I cant help myself
i just cant help it
I really do crave it
i can feel it.

what happened to the old sp where everyone cared and didnt post mean commments? where we were all here to help each other and this was a site of comfort and a site to get help? its really changed