General

My mom fucking wants me to go to my brother’s girlfriend’s grad party. ”it would be nice since she’s so nice to you.” fuck no. she ignores me except for when she’s laughing at me. she makes me feel like shit. why would I go to her party where she’s just gonna make fun of me and I’m gonna have to take her shit because she’s ”such a wonderful person, she’s so nice.” no she’s not!

I seriously can’t take it anymore! I’m so glad that school’s over. I don’t have to leave the house, I don’t have to eat, I don’t have to put on […]

My eyes they droop and sting as i stare aimlessly at this very screen upon which i write my tale of woe.My mind thoughtless, my body motionless,my self lifeless. I don’t know how it all happened so quickly. Over a period of 3 years, everything i once knew my life to be disappeared and crumbled into a nothingness like no other. Apparently ”life’s not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you get hit and still keep pushing forward” . But till when? where is the line, the boundary, the limitation. Every being is limited. So a man’s life in all it’s entirety can be taken away […]

I have fallen in love once….. but I got a broken heart because of it. My heart has healed but now I’m just being used as a rebound for just about everyone I know. The only person I have feelings for will eventually break my heart and I know it will happen. It always does. The one thing about life is how death takes us all but love only picks some of us(Something my friend “D” told me). I know the person I might have feelings for cares enough about me not to hurt me but I’m being hurt anyways by not being with them. […]

Who cares anymore, life is just so deranged. Death is an escape of it all, the pain, the loneliness, I really hate the way that I am, but an escape is what I need, I hate being lonely, it’s the worst damn feeling ever and it’s all my fault that I continue to be lonely. All I do is end up hurting people because I’m useless. I offer nothing to the world what so ever, a ghost is what I have become, a lonely orb in the darkness, all I ever wanted to feel was love.

It’s late very late but they’re still here yes you depression&suicide to cut or not to cut.if I cut things fill free less numb.if I don’t there’s temptation.when I cut it’s not like you notice or care i want friends who care I WANT FRIENDs PERIOD I want a life so I don’t have to live yours I want oxygen so I can breathe.like the kids on tv happy lively everywhere they turn they see some1 who loves them I want love Can I have love?I quess love is found in death

Something has been getting at me lately. It’s summer. Yay! for many people but never for me. I spend my summers alone and never really get any contact with anyone unless they need something from me. Anyway to what the issue is. Two summers ago me and this girl got really close and soon enough we got so close that we were comfortable with telling each other anything. That summer ended and we were back to school. We’d always write each other notes and what not and she even said she had a crush on me and even asked t kiss me. Then we got […]

nothing but me, my movies, and my inability to comprehend the point of my mere existance. friday nights are always the same. me crying. cutting. screaming. holding my stomach cause it hurts so fucking much. the emptiness. it burns a whole deeper and deeper into the pit of my stomach. such a bittersweet moment. getting sick. i wanna die. and its all thanks to you. watching. waiting. for my life to end. alone. alone. why must i be so alone. i think im gonna start my pill craze again. cause all i do is hurt people. at least when im high the hurt goes away….

I dunno, but I need help keeping them away, cause, it’s truly a pain in the @$$. ideas please?

-jesus of suburbia
this song describes my feeling so well and so u can kinda knw wat im talking about here are the lyrics
“im the son of rage and love the jesus of suburbia and the bible of none of the above on the steady diet of soda pop and ritalin no one ever died for my sins in hell as far as i can tell at least the ones i got away with and theres nothing wrong with me this is how im supposed to be in the land of make believe that dont believe in me get my television fixed sitting on […]

I cant take it anymore

I am blind to reality, I fail to see what my life truly is. I look to the sun and I see no happiness, just a ball of hell that keeps us alive. I look around the world and see cruelty everywhere. Torture, death, And many other negative things. So I just need to take a deep breath and be happy, the key to happiness, don’t think about anything, don’t say things you don’t mean as they will drive away friends, don’t let minor imperfections of yourself ruin your self confindence, My message is just live the way you want and don’t think negative.
[…]

I’m getting so fat.
Gone up a whole bra back size.
I’m on a hunger strike now
Done so much exercise,/
should be back to a normal weight soon

All we could do is escape.
Run away for everything that happen.
No need to cut your fragile skin
and no need to waste your tears.
Let your legs do the moving
and your brain do the guiding.
Dont look back
on everything that happen in the past.
Forget everything…
make a new living.
Start fresh and be happy
don’t let the past bring you down.
Thats why we ran
thats why we escape.
We can’t do this anymore
all we need to do is find joy.
The sun against our face
and the quiet peaceful neighborhood.
Doesn’t that sound great
to runaway to a […]

Many probably will feel this isn’t the place for this, but Kevorkian was a true champion of human rights that many called a monster, but for what it’s worth I often wish there was a monster here for me.

Rest Kevorkian, someday history will remember you fondly

Scratch that. Junior high school. Don’t post every pretty little poem that comes into your head. If you’re scratching your head and saying what’s he talking about, well … I’m probably talking about you. It’s getting really boring for people who aren’t still in the tenth grade. Yeah I know high school is tough, it’s tough for everyone. But this used to be a site for people who were suicidally depressed, not just going through teenage angst. Try Weekly Reader or Facebook. Guess I need to find a new site.