General

How can you see me when I am nothing?  You have made me feel like that for the past 10 years…… but now that stops. I’ll keep fighting if I have to, whatever it takes to get you to relize that you don’t listen to me. I have never asked too much of you….is asking for my happiness really to much? If  I go back to you the only emotion I’ll ever have is emptiness. Can you listen without aruging? I don’t think so…but then again you never listened in the first place so to what does it matter? You can go ahead an lie […]

I have come so close to ending it, but like a coward I freaked out, then I sent a text and I made him promise that he would talk to me. It could be at least 4 days tho. Thing is I don’t think he knows how severely depressed I am. What I’ve already done in preparation not to mention what I did back in march. I’ve distanced myself and he’s the last one I want to talk to. I don’t even know if it will help at all getting answers from him but if it doesnt…I’m ready.

It apears that ******** is 78% of the air we breath. ******** is even more efficient for suicide then helium!

It is used in sports like paintball, and can even be artificially manufactured AT HOME!

http://www.southtektalk.com/2009/02/make-your-own-********-and-end-your-gas.html

They busted us!

http://assistedsuicide.org/blog/2011/05/26/fbi-seized-gladd-sewing-machine

I just watched “Fight Club” for the first time. Guess who took me there? Douchebag ex-boyfriend. 8 months since he dumped me and I’m still his *****. He bought me dinner and then took the schizophrenic girl who hates watching conflict to see “Fight Club”. Afterward I asked him why he thought it would be a good idea, and he said, “I guess I didn’t think about it. I don’t think of you as a schizophrenic girl. I just think of you as Kaylie.” Just like him to use a line like that to excuse thoughtless actions. I cried through a lot of it, but […]

My Uncle Vic shot himself 3 years ago and ever since then I’ve tried to kill myself… I was almost successful at least 5 times but each time after I did so something great would happen but after that one good thing everything would become ruined. I’m so lost in this world and none of my family understand….

Suicide (:

Feeling really lost today. I’m kinda just realizing that life isn’t worth it, I’ve always felt this strange impact of wanting to die, over and over. its never really been this way before

My eyes have run out of tears, or maybe I’ve outgrown them. I can’t wait until I die, thats all I know. Lets hope this summer will be one not to forget anytime soon…

Today was the last day of school.  I’m officially done with 10th grade.  That means I’ve got at least two more years of being completely fucking lonely and having to feel like I’m repulsive and hideous.  At least I’ve got a three month break from having to see pretty girls who don’t give a fuck about my existence.  I just wish I wasn’t such an ugly fuck, then maybe at least one girl could give me a pity date, but I can’t even get that now can I?  Fuck.  I wish I were dead.  I wish I could just get away from all of this. […]

Don’t read this if you hate things that waste your time.
Sorry for wasting space as well

Everything’s my fault. I blame me for everything that goes wrong. Maybe I can fix it by ending everything. I just don’t want to fail again. I’m tired of my failures.

Blank stares within the rain, if only you endured my pain. You shall know how much i love you. Despite my feelings of blue.

“Get over it” they say, staring right through me

“Talk it out” she says, holding my hand

He pulls back “to set me free”

So I’m drifting like cold sand

Sitting in my room, staring out the window

Razor in my hand, blinking through the tears

Waiting for the world to slow

Stumbling through my fears

And the whispers…wrap me up

And my stories…screaming to be heard

But now I know my time is up

And I’m streaming out the words

Please make room for us inside your heart

They think they know me well, but that’s not the truth

They don’t know, it’s ripping me apart

So I hold myself aloof

Holding back the screams tearing up my soul

Keeping up […]

as i was walking to my mailbox i found myself marching to my own beat. nothing but warm cracked gravel beneath my feet. i found myself smiling as the breeze brought movement to my lifeless hair. im still waking with no emotion on my face but a blank stare. the soil beneath the earth in which i was given birth. i long for a taste of the blistering sun wondering how hot the burn would be when im all done. i can feel it in my chest. the urge to keep walking and talking to myself. you know its out there but it hides in […]

I drag you along like a lost weight from my jail cell. Your evil and as cold as stone. I drag you around to all my classes, to every meal I eat, every breath I take, and when I think I can get a good nights sleep, and a rest from you; you show up. You twist my dream into a nightmare of you. When I finally give up and admit there is nothing else you can possibly do to hurt me, I wake up and see you standing above me; looking at me with your twisted smile.
I find myself looking in a mirror.

The prison of mirrors… we can’t see,
Yet trapped we are… by its reflection,
It sees all fear and watches our downfall,
It will rip all lies and pride from the soul.

You are all… all that you hate,
Force fed memories, suffer humiliation,
Victim of darkness, of the inner hidden kind,
I am the eye within the gleam,
Shatter before a mirror that stares into (a shallow soul).

Poison yourself… revel in waste,
Poison yourself, in the name of evil… destroy yourself.

I will always be the reason to hate your self,
Mirrors… will oppress your mind,
And follow all… all that you hide,
Blind, step inside […]

Do you ever feel like you are completely worthless? I do.

Do you ever think how much easier the world would be if you weren’t in it? I do.

Ever day i cut myself. It feels amazing. Like all the stress in my life is just released.

I live with a shadow- heavy on my shoulders. I’m dragging every fucked up memory around. I keep looking for that moment that it will be taken away.

After every pointless day i feel death is the only answer.

I may be crazy but im done fighting. I want to just give up. I want to be realeased from all my pain.

I’m done.

im reallly fucking happy today. i chopped all my hair off. its like a new me. i keep smiling and dancing duidfeui im at a loss for words i just wann sing and dance and run barefoot through my yard

does anyone have any specific films or tv shows or music they watch that go with their feelings, or like how they would like things to be, like at the moment i’m watching frequency, which i like cause it makes me feel, maybe, just maybe, i could change the shit thats happened, and make things better.