General

what if tomorrow I woke up and I was loved … what if tomorrow I woke up and all this was just a terrible terrible nightmare …. what if my childhood was filled with toys and happiness, instead of bruises and fear …. what if I chose a husband who loved me, instead of one who fit my version of what life is … what if I had parents who weren’t addicts and who blame me for not taking care of them properly and who still still still are like a cancer in my life … What if ….  Man, I would sleep for a […]

i’m always planning for the worst

i signed my will right after birth

i got my eulogy rehersed

Why cant i not be left alone? Why is my name being call out every five seconds? There is other people in the fucking house you know. I cant even sleep anymore without my name being call. Ugh im going to go insane. It makes me sad and mad to even have this name. Makes me less of a person and more of a slave.:/ I cant wait to kill myself so everything is left alone without me. At least i get to sleep for once. At least i could be left alone out of this world. v- v

I’ve never had strong feelings for someone like I did with this one person; however, we never met. Apparently this means nothing to some people. Anyway; today I learned that he’d been more suicidal than I originally expected (with a history of attempts). I’m frustrated because my love couldn’t reach him -which only proves to me that love is bullshit; it cannot exceed the limits of distance, and it cannot heal broken hearts. I usually don’t bother myself with this kind of issue as it usually is just a matter of brain chemistry… but it’s making me feel uncomfortable.

I want to see the blood

I want to feel the pain

I’m trekking through the mud

I’ve slowly gone insane

And now I just don’t care

It’s crowding in my brain

I’m ripping out my hair

I’m drowning in the pain

My heart has turned to ice

My body is all numb

You think that I’m so nice

But honey you’re just dumb

I feel I’m in a cube

Boxed in from every side

You say it’s a bad mood

So I’ll just go and hide

I peek out from my hole

The darkness keeps me in

The thoughts, they take their toll

There’s no way that I can win

The days are dragging by

The end is creeping near

I’ll leave it with a sigh…

One […]

Anna my friend i certanitly hope you are ok. Please do not go through what you said you were gonna do PLEASE i beg of you. Im worried about you,       

I cant help ur lonliness but im always availiable. if u dnt want to talk just give me a sign ur ok. Please. Im not sleepn til i get some sign your ok.

Brandon(Nihilism00)

@ 34 I may not belong here

That’s it, I’m finished.
I’m going to hang myself.
I’ll drink and I’ll do drugs before
I’ll even cut myself like I do everyday.
But I swear, I’m gone this time.
5th time lucky I guess.

Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death

We are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we’re considering
escape from this world

and we’ve waited for so long
for this moment to come
was so anxious to be together
together in death

Won’t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won’t you die
Baby join me in death
Won’t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

This world is a cruel place
and we’re here only to lose
so before live tears us apart let
death bless me with you

Won’t you die tonight […]

my heart hurts I sit in bed and think for hours why the hell does it hAve to be me why? There’s nothing that seems to take away the pain and just thinking about him makes me realize he’ll never be mine. Why go through that suffering why do it when I can make it stop why do I deserve to be this? Between the shit at home and school I just can’t do it.

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying the stairway to heaven.

There’s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there’s a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There’s a feeling I get when I look to […]

There has been a lot of debate about wheter to use the Helium or ********, and wheter the Helium sold at party balloon time cabisters is oure or not.

A much bigger issue in the long run is going to be the bag. If the bag is too tight, it will burst before brain death. If it is too lose, it will not hold well enough, and can even fall off. How to make it truly ideal?

I have gotten to a point in my life where I don’t think it is worth living anymore. Very few things make me happy anymore. I feel I am in more mental pain then other wise and if I am in more pain than I am not what is the use. I haven’t felt really happy in months.  I have realized to day that I will never be able to have a long term relationship with anyone. Including family or friends. If I am around anyone for too long things eventually go poorly. I’m pretty much a loner. I don’t have a friend in the […]

everytime i log in i hit remember me. but when i get back on it doesnt. why wont it fucking remember me. i guess no matter what i fucking do it wont matter. after i kill myself it will be like i was never here. i havnt cut in two weeks…until today. i didnt really cut i just started fucking jabbing at my flesh with the blade not realizing what i was doing until i was done. i should probably go to the hospital…id rather bleed to death.

when im alone i grow to hate. i tell myself this is the last time ill ever date you. but then when my phone rings at 2am and i see that its you i cant help but to pick up. all that hate goes away. the sound of your voicce just automatically makes me smile. and then when im half asleep you say baby i love you. and even though i know you dont know what it means to love me it still sounds like music to my ears. and even though im unsure i love you too </3

There are for the most part 2 parts of your body wich you need to keep the basic functions going;the heart and the brain.

Technicly speaking the heart exists only to pump blood and most importantly oxyden into the brain. If this flow of oxygen for one reason or another is damaged, then brain damage(in most cases)will occure. Therefor one might say, that all death is always brain death. Technicly one can both die, and return back from the death. There have been number of people who have suffered a cardiac arrest and came back from the dead!

http://www.near-death.com/storm.html

Here is a man, who was in a coma […]