General

I just got out of the psych ward the day before yesterday for not being able to keep myself safe and planning to kill myself.  I have legitimate reasons not to want to live anymore.  I have had a plan for a long time, and my doctor keeps a tight reign on what I acquire for means by which to do it.  I have the best doctor I could ever have.  He does not think that I am crazy at all.  He understands.  It really helps that he understands, and it keeps me from killing myself outright because I do not want to hurt him.  […]

I have tried to respond to your post 3 times but the site wont allow me to, what’s that about? I have found a link for you that has specific details

i have struggled with serious depression since I was about 14. I am now 22, and in the 8 years that this has been an issue for me, i have had probably a year and a half total time when I wasn’t honestly thinking about killing myself. I have had the suicide note written and the method laid out before so many times that I have lost count. but I always cop out right at the end. i have never officially attempted suicide, but I cut and I drink and i smoke and I do anything else that might, maybe, take a little bit of […]

It’s weird, how the world works. Weird, how you can be surrounded by people, but be forever alone. My schoolmates see only a facade they choose to believe is the truth. My parents know me not at all. The only emotion I am capable of anymore is a bitter mixture of fear and longing; fear of truly loosing the only person I’ve ever cared about; longing for someone who can actually know me. The only thing I really think about is what I would do if something were to happen to her. A thought of her eventually leads to a […]

The day where I feel its okay to finally hang myself, the day I feel I can leave without anything unfinished. That day is mere weeks away. What an odd, and yet enthrilling feeling.

hi i’ed like to start out by saying im not really the suicide type this is just a vent for me really right now for me to calm down i havnt had the best life by my veiw point i lived in a lil apartment for most my life with my mother she would go husband to husband each one treated her badly drunk drugs etc were there problems ive been pushed through school sense i was in 2nd grade wither i pass or fail same either way elementary school wasnt all that bad sept the fact i would miss school alot becuase either i […]

Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as ravens claws.

No remnants were ever found of it
Turning the heart Vile
With every fake smile
Though no evidence was ever found
It never went away completely

I try to appellate a holy sound of it
Another day gone
Another night’s drawn
Dark forces pull me underground
And never went away completely

How can I feel this empty
I will not recover this time
This loneliness is killing me

Will I ever know peace of mind again
I don’t believe it
I can’t achieve it
I think I know it’s just another sign that
Never went away completely

Terror is coursing in me
Dreading the final moments
Where I have […]

What do you know, sitting there in your ivory tower; hurling down vision-McNuggets, dipped in the special sauce of the establishment!

We are the World
We are the nutters
We are the ones to make a stranger day
So let’s start writing poems

I wrote this poem 8 days after officially becoming a nutter. Two days later I became a cutter

I am feeling like I can’t go on much longer. I can’t even think of how to put my words into context. I just feel worthless and have alot of emotional and physical pain. Really lonely and depressed. I have nobody other than my phsychistrist to talk to. It’s so frustrating feeling like life has ended up in tatters. I don’t have friends. I have tried making them and all my attempts fail. I am just so fed up with people who don’t be honest or only talk now and then when it suits them and even then they are completely cold and heartless towards you. Both […]

27 years old male here from Canada. I have been diagnosed a severe depression in mid-August and the doc prescribed me Venlafaxine (Effexor). I was also forced out of work and forced back into my family, in my hometown.

The only thing this drug seems to do is to suppress my emotions. It does not have any effect on my suicidal thoughts.

I want to end with life so badly that I intend to buy myself a rope as soon as possible so I can execute the good suicide plan I created.

The only major problem I face is that I’m under supervision 24/7. I’m supposed to go […]

I’ve been spiritual all my life, I always had a strong sense of something (call it God if you like). It was always the thing that I listened to, prayed to, and lived through. I’ve always had bouts of depression, some of which so bad that I tried to end my life a few times. When I eventually rise from the depressions, I feel amazing, stronger and better than before and ever more spiritual. But this past year has been the worst I have ever been through and I don’t seem to be pulling through, and I’m not sure I even want to this time. […]

I just heard this old 80’s song and the lyrics made me cry, must have touched something inside of me. Thought I would share them, it’s a nice song too!

These rivers run too deep
With schemes of men for days that lay ahead
They sell their souls so cheap
They breed mistrust and fill my heart with dread
When did the boy become a man
And lose his life to learn
So much confusion to this plan
These times are not changing
Show me the love to keep us together
Open up your hearts don’t turn me away
Comfort me through this stormy weather
>From where I stand, I see a broken land
This boy had learned […]

I’ve read blogs, poetry, articles, posts and responses on various forums, and it has only shown me that most people don’t have a clue about real depression or suffering. If I am fortunate enough to find a post or something that relates, it becomes swamped with messages of (non) advice that deepen the pain even further. Not all advice is awful, but I see no advice that is truly helpful. Can anyone really help anyone else? I have kept putting off suicide because I have a will to live but my life is full of such problems that  make living an unbearable existence. People say when you […]

The English teacher told me that there were 26 letters and his favorite letter is P!

Can anyone help me to find out how I can blow myself up? This is a serious question. I have tried to kill myself by suffocation and overdose, but they haven’t worked (obviously) and it’s horrible. I want a quick and absolutely surefire way to kill myself. I wont do it near anybody, I will do it in the woods or something. I’ve heard you can make explosives out of simple stuff from a chemist, does anyone know how to do it?

Life is like queuing to go on the rides at Alton Towers. You don’t want to be queuing do you?  You want to be on the rides!

It started with a downer…

then to driving and cherry cherry icee
to 99 cents of gooey caramel and apple
thank you one dollar treats

where to now? who cares?
we have our beats and whispering
sometimes shouting in excitement windows

hey! look! A 24 hour chain coffe joint!
one that’s name resembles a marriage
of a galactic ball of gas and the informal slang of 100 copper pennies

enter maya
nightshifter and maker of drinks
your humor and discussion, how lovely!
possibly broken into douchebag!
(does his breathe smell shower fresh?!?)
wyclef pres of haiti!
monkey children!
it’s a prostetic leg!?
oh maya, did we just become…
besties?

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Don’t look down the tube, it will haunt you forever. Keep your fingers crossed