Category:

My Suicide Note

Letting go….

by Romanticide 10/23/2015

written by Romanticide

So I’ve been stepped up to “Home treatment” team. Which is laughable because the situation I’m in at the moment means no one can actually visit me at home, because it would actually cause more stress and end in too many questions (can’t really explain more than that).

They’ve basically said I can meet with the home team once they call me (should be tonight or tmro) and I’ll have access to the crisis house in my city if they feel it’s needed.

I just want to die. Its getting worse.

I’ve been honest with my partner they know I’m suicidal, they’ve said I should find something to […]

10/23/2015 4 comments

Day 1

by kellyvsed 10/22/2015

written by kellyvsed

I have been researching suicide for many years and you get the usual shoot yourself, jump in front of train or suffocation etc etc etc, however starvation is one that’s new to me and one a can totally get on board with.

I have tried suicide methods before and taken a lot of methods into consideration before shooting them down . For example my ideal method would be to shoot myself but I just don’t know the kind of criminal people that would provide me with such a thing. I’ve taken the train into consideration but my local train station is an end point no trains […]

10/22/2015 13 comments

here I am again

by melodychild 10/21/2015

written by melodychild

so again I’m saying I quit. I’ve posted before saying I planned to end it, and obviously changed my mind. Well I’m back with a new plan. I did a little research, picked out my date. The steps are in motion. I’m tired of going back and forth and honestly I don’t want help. I don’t want to get better. I know I can’t. I did the math and I’ve had sucidal thoughts for around 8 yrs. I first tried to kill myself in 8th grade so I was around 12. And since then it’s been back and forth. I’ve tried to end it so […]

10/21/2015 2 comments

This is tiring now…

by Romanticide 10/21/2015

written by Romanticide

I’ve been feeling suicidal for the best part of 3 months now, but the last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult.

I feel like the thoughts are controlling me rather than me being in control of them.

Before, I was thinking, oh i’ll do THIS and THIS is when i’ll do it etc etc.

But recently I’ve been struck by impulsive thoughts where I feel if I drift off for that second too long that I’ll jump in front of a car. I parked my car at work yesterday morning, then found myself stood against the wall of the car park leaning over wondering if I jumped […]

10/21/2015 5 comments

Fuck this world and all of it’s nasty little inhabitants.

by Mitigate 10/19/2015

written by Mitigate

I am drained. I’m tired and exhausted of living in a body and in a world which I don’t care for, nor belong in. I have never really felt comfortable here, never felt a belonging that wasn’t as disingenuous as it was ephemeral, the only meaning, or purpose I have experienced, has been under substances, or even worse, from the euphoria of a biochemical imbalance. The only exception, the truly comfortable place, is this place in my head that I’ve known for quite some time; I would leave by my own hand. I hate myself and all of myself. All of the bits.

Although I […]

10/19/2015 4 comments

Hello, hero. Goodbye, hero.

by mranony 10/19/2015

written by mranony

I’ve been living this life for 17 years now. I know some people might say, I’m too young to think my problems are that heavy. Imagine them as an adult paying taxes and what not. I know. And I think you’re awesome.

There’s me. Not exactly loved, not exactly hated. I’ve experienced to be showered with attention. I’ve experienced to be bullied.

As a one-month old to three-month old, I have a sturdy grip and balance to walk myself out of the walker. As a child, I have a passion for adventure. You’ll never see me in one place. When I was finally ready for school, I […]

10/19/2015 17 comments

Emotionally blank

by Romanticide 10/18/2015

written by Romanticide

This is getting really difficult now.

I had a meeting with the crisis team last Friday, the lady was so lovely I just wanted to say “you could be this amazing person to someone who isn’t visualising themself jumping off a building right now”.

She said she was concerned. That the only thing holding me back from killing myself is the impact of who finds me etc. I’ve read too many things of train drivers who are emotionally scarred by someone jumping in front of them etc.

But it is something I am thinking of less and less as the overwhelming feelings of nothingness take over me.

I feel […]

10/18/2015 2 comments

Why are we alive?

by A Fairy from the Past 10/18/2015

written by A Fairy from the Past

We wake up each morning- alive. We live, struggle, suffer, fall in love (if we’re lucky), have a bit of fun, suffer a bit more and then die. What’s the point of it all? What’s the point of going through all of this, actually putting in the effort to do all of this when in the end you will die? Why not just kill yourself now? Yes, life might actually get better, but what difference does it make when in the end everything will be taken away from you ? And what happens if life happens to get worse? You stay alive and suffer even […]

10/18/2015 6 comments

Depressed and over it.

by ladyedicius 10/17/2015

written by ladyedicius

I am ready to give up. I wrote a pathetic note yesterday and tried all day to hang myself. I didn’t succeed like many others before me. I am desperate.

I am desperate to go. Considered jumping. Not a freeway like the idiot yesterday on the 101 but a peaceful cliff or a bridge. Where death is certain…

10/17/2015 3 comments

My final attempt.

by elvenzero 10/14/2015

written by elvenzero

Excuse the spelling mistakes but I am am currently crying and i will not check over this post.

I have psychosis and schitzophrenia. In my case, I hallucinate all the time and find it very hard to tell who is real and who isn’t. thats not the thing thats bugging me though, i can deal with harmless, imaginary people walking around. what i cant deal with is the episodes. my episodes consist of me black out, then waking up (i dont know how much longer later apparently it varies from 10minutes-2hours) covered in cuts, usually deep ones that need stitches. theyre usually on my neck and […]

10/14/2015 13 comments

day 3 of being homeless

by ismedyl 10/14/2015

written by ismedyl

Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]

10/14/2015 7 comments

I wanna get rid of this pain.

by Anaiah J 10/14/2015

written by Anaiah J

Well, can someone tell me how to get rid of this pain. I wanna take some pill and just go sleep because I’m tired of my life. Please tell me what to do and how I would die without anyone knowing ..

Thank you.

10/14/2015 3 comments

Feeling Depressed…

by Mary 10/12/2015

written by Mary

Idk what it is with today…. I’ve just felt like shit all day. I’ve felt like screaming and crying all day and i have no idea why…. i have thought having my daily relapse for the day and making myself look like someone sliced the hell out of my arm….. Today i have done nothing but think about when i used to weigh 110- pounds and i have an issue with binge eating and i fucking hate myself for eating so much today…. I’m honestly thinking starving myself again like i used to.. And this time i don’t want help….. Anyone can offer all the […]

10/12/2015 3 comments

We?l im fucked

by ismedyl 10/12/2015

written by ismedyl

Been a while since I posted here… I bought a gun I put it in my mouth and I wanted to pull the trigger but I couldn’t. Anyway at that point I started to see the lighter side of things and now I’m back to the dark and I’ve hit deep space black hole dark. I got a loan for 2500 a month and a half ago and my intention was to go see a woman in Canada that I used to mess around with… You know because we both still have feelings for each other. Well I blew that money at a strip club. […]

10/12/2015 3 comments

Apathy

by Romanticide 10/11/2015

written by Romanticide

…is all I feel now. Which is ironic really seeing as its pretty much “feeling’ nothing at all.

I Have been depressed for many years, and suicidal through periods of this time. However I now feel so close its almost like I’m not even in control anymore.

I was in a car accident last week (not a deliberate action might I add..) but all I could think of when I moved my car to a safer place by the side of the road was “I wish I’d died”. There had been an accident right before ours so there were ambulance and police there already who saw the […]

10/11/2015 8 comments

Should I leave a final note?

by Chaucer 10/8/2015

written by Chaucer

I’m curious if you can help me decide something. Is it better to leave a note at all?

If I go through with it I don’t want to be saved, coddled. I don’t want another ounce of sympathy or “lets talk it over” every hopefull second of effort just makes it worse at this point. I’m not going to be satisfied with anything I could try to say. I know I can’t offer any explanation, and I certainly don’t want specific people to know it it could possibly their fault.

But people need closure don’t they? I want them to have that, when I’m gone I don’t […]

10/8/2015 9 comments

See you on the flip side ^_^

by dummyaccount 10/8/2015

written by dummyaccount

My birthday gift to myself is liberation…

All others like me, I know this is hypocritical of me but keep fighting the good fight.

10/8/2015 13 comments

JUMP

by followthesun 10/7/2015

written by followthesun

If I had my stash on me right now it could just be over. I go back and forth from being invincible to being invisible. None of this is real and it’s all a fun game, a “fun” game. Everybody wins, everybody loses. I don’t know what could make this change, I just don’t see why it’s worth it. I know I have a pretty poor self worth but it’s hard to feel good about yourself when they keep telling you you’re doing everything wrong. You know everyday is just a pointless attempt to keep my body here for the sake of everyone else, my […]

10/7/2015 2 comments

I’m A Fuck Up

by Mary 10/6/2015

written by Mary

I’m 17. I’m the biggest fucking failure to my family. No one ever believes me when i tell the truth about things, they always believe a lie over the truth. I’m sick and tired of feeling a screw up, im tired being a failure, im tired being talked to like im stupid, im tired of people treating me differently just because i wear “too much” black, im tired of taking the blame for everyone in the house, im tired of taking the blame just because im the oldest or because im the closest one to yell at…… I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! […]

10/6/2015 7 comments

Need encouragement for suicide

by imgonnadietoday 10/4/2015

written by imgonnadietoday

please just encourage me to do it because you can’t stop me. Just tell me why I will be better I guess. I don’t need your sympathy, I just need encouragement to do it. Please, thanks. I’m going to do it today.

10/4/2015 5 comments

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