no one cares, so i dont even know why i need to write this. (i wish i could get a horrible disease and be gone!….it is so unfair that people that are loved, needed and wanted get these horrible, incurable diseases….while, i who have no one and wants to die…stays half-way healthy. I’ve never understood this miscarriage of justice!!!) the thieves (my deceased sister’s young adult children) need not ever show their face around me.(dead or alive) i would like to think, as i did discussed with my brother’s daughter and her husband (man! he is so great to me!…as much as he […]
–Fictional work of a delusional nobody—
Hello and the fact that you’re reading this means that you were the poor unfortunate bastard who found my body(i’m terribly sorry about the mess the envelope in my pocket contains money for a cleaning service and there business card).
Now on to business shall we, where were we , ahh yes you’ve found me, now im guessing you are wondering why what could have possessed me to do such a thing well I hate to dissapoint you but im not completely sure why i did it either there have been many factors that have lead me to my decision but […]
Do you ever wonder how insignificant you really are? I’m sitting out here looking at this beautiful sky but I can’t help but feel entirely small. Life has become so hard for me to grasp and understand, and it leaves me completely confused. Day to day I fumble through the same routine: fight myself to get up, go to work, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. The only good part about my day is being with my family at my new home but I don’t know how long anyone will ever love me. Love always goes away. Orat least that is how things have been thus far.
I want […]
Well this is a long story, but to sum it up, I am truly giving up on life. Trust me the answer isn’t 42, it’s not happiness or sadness. And the dragoon from final fantasy 9 has a dam good point! Being forgotten and alone is worse than death. After all when your dead you know that you no longer know that your hated, and are left with nothing right? Maybe I’ll be in some grave, maybe I’ll be with god. No matter the case be, I’m pretty dam sure I won’t be in the pain I am feeling now. Ok now for my life […]
Dear precious Angel, I love you more than anything! You were never bad I promise, but mommy has to leave this place. I can not be her anymore, but will wait at heavens gates for you. I will not go in till I find you there. I am sorry I know your sad. I just can’t stay in far too sad. My heart is heavy and my eyes always cry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better. You will have daddy and grandma and grandpa your imma and Randy paw too. But mommy isn’t able to stay , but in heaven is where I’ll wait for […]
He makes me weak, He makes me smile, He makes me cry, He makes me love him, He makes me hate him, He makes me happy, He makes me sad. And still, I can’t get him out of my fucking mind.
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I am ready to enter the beautiful West now.
I am that great god, the self-created.
Who is it?
He is Nun, father of the gods.
Otherwise said, he is Re.
To me belongs yesterday; I know tomorrow.
What does it mean?
As for yesterday, it is Osiris.
Otherwise said, it is gone.
I am that great Benu bird,
the supervisor of all that exists.
I know that great god who is in it.
Who is he?
He is Osiris.
As […]
I was once a nice sweet guy, great sense of humor, a tad weird, and a self proclaimed romantic, I am 45 now, never had a true relationship, only had one woman in my life I ever truly loved.
I lived in Massachusetts all my life. And over the years in my search for the love of my life, I have found that from the time of birth women have been told that men are pigs, scum, and jerks, etc. On the other hand women are supposed to be the sweetest things, sensitive and caring, affectionate creatures.
I tried many tactics to entice a woman’s attention, from […]
He said that he doesn’t trust me to have our baby and maybe he’s right. He think I will let something bad happen to her.
I’ve considered all of the options. All I wanted was for us to be a family. But he said I’m not good enough to have his baby or to be his family. I feel cold and numb. I have no one. He was the only person who ever loved me. I can’t live without my daughter. I can’t have an abortion. I will never be OK with that. I can’t let her live without me. She’ll think it was her fault. […]
I have nobody.
I have no real friends. Once I try to talk about my feelings or get help, I just end up getting ignored. I know it’s not easy but please don’t leave me alone in this again. I can’t breathe
i need to get away and drugs and these fucking razors aren’t doing anything anymore.
I’m so alone and tired
honestly I am just so lonely. i am so tired of being sad and not being able to help it, and i am tired of feeling ignored and unloved. I have a friend that i trust and always help when they are in need but whenever i need help with my problems they are never there. And i dont know if i am being selfish or if i am even sad enough to be suicidal, and i wonder if i am convincing myself i am because i want attention. i just want to know if people actually care or if they are just saying that.
please […]
I feel bad and fucked up again .
I am only damn young and i am ruening my own life.people say i can be happy with what i have but i am not .i don’t have much friends and my dad hates me .i have been feeling like this alot just 3 houres ago i was about to cut again.i just dont know what to do anymore i have been to special help centrums and all those things but they help me only for 4-5 weeks . And after that my pain is back .i once had an ex a whille ago and i loved him […]
There was a time when i posted my sad story on this forum.To be honest i never want to remember those moments again in my whole life. But I definitely want to remember and thanks to this forum, that today i am a better person.
I met somebody through this forum who really helped me to overcome those bad days. I would like to do the same with people out here. I want to help you all and make you feel comfortable. I want you all to know that i will always be there if anyone needs me then feel free to msg me on inhellut@gmail.com
I could be ending it all here. Not now, but soon, I just have to find the right time and method. One method I’ve been thinking about was overdose on fluoxetine and strepsils (hopefully they’ll kill me). I tried hanging but I can’t tie a noose for shit, I have no access to guns at all, and I couldn’t be able to drown myself nor could I find a heavy object to tie to my feet. But that’s beside the point, the point is that I could take my life pretty shortly. I just feel like everything’s falling apart and that if I die now […]
I once had a life, a real home. I lost everything after becoming a whistleblower. I live in poverty but these so called whistleblower groups just used me for them to get money. I was down to one car, have fibromyalgia and my mom committed suicicide a while back. I was in a car wreck a couple of weeks ago. No, not a penny to my name, have tried every medication there is for depression, in great pain I really wish I had died in that car wreck and I want to die now. I have a 9 mm gun and when grandkids leave I […]
I’ve wanted to die since I was at most 13, maybe even younger.
It’s been on and off for me, not where I’m really enjoying life and then really not- just from vague contentedness to suicidal.
I’ve tried “hanging in there” but there’s nothing there for me. Everything in this world just feels so empty and pointless. Everything I’ve experienced has just been staving off the inevitable. When everyone else is rejoicing in this idea of a “new age” coming forth and pretending that everything is happy and good in the world, I’m silent in the background, wishing I could speak up to tell them how full […]
Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
Well.. I’m less than 20 days from being 18. I have had social anxiety for most of life, at least from when I was ~4. I have had countless episodes of it, whether they are a friend of mine or not, I will get nervous. I had to take medicine to walk the stage without panicking, as well as with my speeches this year. I am on medicine and I think it’s where I got the depression for the most part. I was told I have depression symptoms but since taking the medicine the thoughts of suicide has gone in more depth. I have now […]
I was sexually abused as a child. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused through childhood and my early teens. I’m super screwed up. I can’t control my emotions and I get depressed. Suicide seems very glamorous to me. I’ve thought about it ever since I was 7 or 8 years old. Life terrifies me unless I’m drinking or doing drugs. I’m a cutter. I’ve never attempted suicide because I always chicken out in the end, but I’m getting closer to the brink.