Poetry & Art

Don’t be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks and none of them are me. Don’t be fooled; for God’s sake, don’t be fooled. I give you the impression that I am secure–that confidence is my name and cool is my game and that I need no one. But don’t believe me. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness. That’s why I create a mask to hide behind– to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. That is, if it is followed by acceptance; if it is followed […]

Written about four years ago.

Springtime

Within my great, hollow chest,
My heart beats,
Like a muffled clapper,
In a rusty iron bell,
Playing its part,
In the symphony of green around me.

It felt good to unload in my first post.  I came here because I need a place to talk about these things where no one knows me, where no one can judge, or be horrified, or worst of all, try to intervene.  I’ve been dealing with suicide for a very long time — at least thirty years.  That’s a big part of why I’m so tired. I wonder how long I’m supposed to keep going like this, and I really want to keep my options open.

I notice that poetry is welcome here, so by way of introduction, I thought I’d share some poems I wrote […]