For your poems.
I’m losing my sanity.
I cut myself.
And wrote in my journal with my own blood.
Please. Please, tell me what to do.
Please help me.
Category:
Poetry & Art
Let’s play a game
Where you pretend to care
But don’t see my hurt
And where I act like you not caring
Doesn’t hurt me at all
Where all my pain is hidden
And you just can’t seem to find it
Let’s play a game
Where I wait for you to give up
And you don’t give the help I need
Where every day I’m screaming just for you to save me
But you don’t hear me
Where you don’t come to my side
As I’m weakening to the thoughts
Let’s play a game
My bodies the canvas
My eyes hold my paint
All the pain is too much for me
And her love is fading with the stars in the morning
The razors still sharp enough
The fire hot enough
The pills will hold the focus of death
The alcohol holds the wish for release
Together they herald death
Apart they mock it
Life can be long
Or end short
But the constant is it ends
And I decide when
And right now as your scream
I contemplate when I’ll go
You think I’m fine
But after tonight
No one will think of me
I’m so tired of it all… the foolishness
Wearing a mask
Smiling on the outside
but ready to break inside
How can I hang on any longer?
I’m in so much pain
And I’m shattering
Every day
I reach out
Help me
I need help
Save me
Dreams escape from
those around you, dying
in front of you, don’t
know what to do, don’t
Know how to save them.
You close your eyes, think
away from the demons,
not expecting to find
Just what you’re looking for.
The way to save the dreamers
from a personal hell…
Breathing quickens, dreams
Fill your mind, absorb them quick
lest it be too late, save all,
sacrifice yourself. One life
for many…is that too great a cost?
Breathing slows, calmer..
Hear a melodic sound,
music soothes the savage beast..
will it soothe the dreams?
Stronger, stronger, stronger
still. Taking over everything,
bullying flashes through your
mind, pain, hatred, and a small
Feeling unknown to you, love.
Feel fear, feel everything but
what you imagined this to be like…
Open your heart you’ll […]
My every attempt is cursed to
fail, same as my life has gone
down the gutters for who
would stop and and see who longs
for death? Who would realize
that the pain is too much to bear,
when all that can be heard are lies?
Who in their right minds would dare
to care? Certainly not the monster in
my heart filling my essence and soul
with pain and death. Why is it such a sin
to want to die? To want to listen to the call
of the demons in our hearts? Is this why
we all crave death? Because we’ve been
pushed away from it? They begin to cry
as they see it’s too late, they had […]
It’s close…
I can feel it coming
sweet release – it’s near
Oh how I wish you would join me
We can leave this dirty place behind
Oh friend, I see you suffering here
And I can’t watch you like this any longer
We all have a choice to make
Noone has the right to blame us
Oh how I wish you would join me
and take my hand on this lift
I know I can’t find love in this world
I’ll be patiently waiting for you there…
You certainly don’t deserve this pain
And now I find myself void of purpose and reason
I go in peace
I have seen places there of unimaginable beauty…
Oh friend, this world divides us
Would […]
I was reading a book and then all of a sudden i get the sudden urge to cut, scream, get stupid, and do more drugs. i want to get high and live life….. i think…. i want to die…… i want to get drunk ….. i want to do all of these things just because of a fucking book. i dont know what to do!!! i wanna cut, drink, smoke, snort, smoke weed. i want to pop more pills and keep going until i can’t anymore. i want to do it all and then just DIE!!!! its like a rush that i can’t help that […]
With every step that I take
I rattle those
fiery bars.
Burning through the air,
slices down my heart!
Looking deep inside
I see you there
in my arms!
Oh, what a joyous feeling I get,
but its buried alive!
I’ll never see your face
and never brush your arm
never get those kisses
that I
so adored!
Oh, what is this hurt
thats burning me inside
escapes through my throat
hoping that I die!
All i wished:
to hear your voice,
to touch those lips
sweet and moist.
All i wished:
to say your name,
inhale your scent,
ignite this flame.
All i wish:
to pop these pills,
to say goodnight,
for a final thrill.
All i wish:
to have you say
loves not gone,
you feel the same.
I am longing for that feeling
to be close and there’s nothing you can do
Sir, you have a maximum of 7 days left to live…
Doctor, please let me hear those words
I’ve been close, but never close enough
What should I do in the remaining time?
And with each passing day the gladness rises
…to know to be finally going home
and spend these last days in uncomparable peace
You only understand it
if you have felt it
I’ve never thought about what
love could be, until I met these
people. Until I met people I could
trust. I wondered for years
what that word was. Now, here I am.
Several attempts in the past. Drugs
and alchohol behind me. I’m here.
No more cutting. It’s harder than I ever
imagined, but I’m slightly safer. I’ve
never tried this hard to make a difference
in my life. I’ve never tried to keep alive.
What is it that’s keeping me here now?
It can’t be what I feel in my heart…
can it? It can’t be that I’m growing beyond
my shell. Panic sets in. My heart beats faster,
I can’t trust. I can’t be here and be happy,
it’s […]
the thoughts never subside, and he still haunts me.
Tomorrow simply slips away
with it goes my dismay.
Gone and found on distant shores
waiting for the open doors
to sway me this and that away
dismay waiting for some play.
on those elaborate distant shores
flitting like so many whores.
Oh, olive eyes of drowning seas!
Please, don’t stare
with such intensity…
The hurt and pain,
the endless guilt
that those soothing eyes
soon smolder silt.
Heat and passion
ask such a toll,
calling for my endless role
in hate, fear, and desperation
Relinquishing my compensation.
They never knew
and never saw
the endless fear
engulfing us all.
A fear that stuck
and stained like ink,
rich with worry,
lies and deceit.
She lied to me
and also to you,
knowing we were all
just empty fools.
Willing to ignore,
forget, and abuse
that happiness she once knew.
She gave and gave,
while i just took.
A little fool
who was easily shook.
She finally gave
one last time,
but instead gave herself
that bloody line.
Across the throat
and down her wrists
my mother left
without a kiss.
The days blur,
blessed with dreams,
dreams of you
with dreams of me.
Those dreams aren’t real.
Those dreams are false.
They always come
but at what cost?
The cost of blood,
the cost of pain.
The haze is fading,
and so i pay.
I paid the cost
and now I’m lost.
Forever wandering,
forever washed
ashore that empty
lonesome beach,
that some may call
eternal sleep.
The following is a short story entitled ‘The Euphio Question’ by Kurt Vonnegut. I sincerely wish that some device such as this existed. Alas, happiness is in actuality difficult to attain. My wishes are simple when lain against this very complex story addressing whether happiness itself, when reached by unnatural methods, is of any kind of value and whether is cheapens life’s existence. But, I digress… I hope you enjoy this story. Vonnegut is exceptional. This story is taken from ‘Welcome to the Monkey House’. Comments are welcome.
Ladies and gentlemen of the Federal Communications Commission, I appreciate this opportunity to testify on the subject […]
I was always that girl you’d never see sad. Always the one who’s happy. I guess I’m just lonely. I haven’t really had a chance to care about others. Never had a shot to be who I really am. You want to know who I am? Alright. I’ll tell you. It’s going to be in a poem. Not happy. It’s rough, but here goes.
Here I am, bleeding, washed up.
You, the fool you are, don’t realize.
Don’t see the demon behind my eyes.
Lurking, waiting. Waiting for the chance
to get out, oops. I let it out. I let the monster
take my hand, control my actions.
You know what it […]
Well I’ll be damned,
I’m still alive.
Still breathing,
Still thinking,
Still failing,
Still disappointing my family,
Still vaguely hinting few people I want to die.
Why?
Why can’t things be simple?
Why must everything I do become 200.0% more complex?
Why must I become the actor I never wanted to be,
The good kid at school you laugh with and smile,
The bad kid at home that can never be normal or happy,
The nerd that can help you with any homework or test,
The idiot that can’t do even the simpilest of tasks.
So I ask myself at the end of each day,
Wouldn’t it just be easy to leave,
In the long run, everyone would be better off without me.
Sure a […]